Aibu to think this is too full on?

(470 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Luckystars1 Thu 24-Jun-21 04:12:54

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

OP’s posts: |
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep Thu 24-Jun-21 04:14:34

He sounds fucking terrifying
Why on earth are you still entertaining this?

SillyLittleBiscuit Thu 24-Jun-21 04:19:17

I’d run a mile at just one of those comments.

londonscalling Thu 24-Jun-21 04:20:46

Stay away. He sounds like he would be a nightmare if anything went wrong further down the line!

Shelddd Thu 24-Jun-21 04:22:13

Omg.. that's really really concerning. He is clearly unwell and delusional. Obviously obsessed.

You have a child you need to protect that child. Do not let this man near your child and please also don't meet him yourself.

FlowerArranger Thu 24-Jun-21 04:28:29

Why would you even ask....
Where are your boundaries? !

MissPilly Thu 24-Jun-21 04:29:51

Er… yes. He sounds unwell. Why did you keep chatting to him? It’s best to block, don’t engage any further.

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readingismycardio Thu 24-Jun-21 04:30:19

Yeah, just block and get rid, he seems unhinged

HollyGarland Thu 24-Jun-21 04:31:44

He sounds terrifying. Don’t let him within a mile of your child. Just block him and forget him, he sounds really sinister.

stopchewingeverything Thu 24-Jun-21 04:32:02

That is all beyond creepy and I would be running for the hills and probably changing my number if I were you!

Dita73 Thu 24-Jun-21 04:33:02

When he messages you again don’t respond for a while. When you do get back to him say you’ve been really busy. Keep the chat almost to small talk and if he starts being full on again just ignore it and leave the conversation and don’t talk to him for a few days or longer. Make him realise that he is just an acquaintance. Chat to him now and then but just dismiss all the full on crap. It is a bit creepy. Or of course just block his arse!

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep Thu 24-Jun-21 04:39:12

Dita73

When he messages you again don’t respond for a while. When you do get back to him say you’ve been really busy. Keep the chat almost to small talk and if he starts being full on again just ignore it and leave the conversation and don’t talk to him for a few days or longer. Make him realise that he is just an acquaintance. Chat to him now and then but just dismiss all the full on crap. It is a bit creepy. Or of course just block his arse!

Don't do this
Tell him he's being full on and moving too fast then block him
Why would you advise her to keep chatting to him??

Bogeyes Thu 24-Jun-21 04:41:19

Keep well away

ThumbWitchesAbroad Thu 24-Jun-21 04:47:24

YANBU.
There is a whole bunting line of red flags with this.
Block him now. I hope you haven't given him your address, or any details by which he can find you?

BananasAreEvil Thu 24-Jun-21 04:51:58

Please tell me he doesn't know where you live...
You need to block this guy and never ever agree to meet him whether is just you or, especially, with your child.

Confusedandshaken Thu 24-Jun-21 04:53:29

I agree with this. Be upfront. Say it's all moving a bit fast for you and stop communicating. If he persists, block him.

It reminds me very much of an acquaintance who had a 'whirlwind romance' and engagement. It turned out in the end that a man she had dated twice had turned up on her doorstep with his suitcases and moved himself in and she was too 'polite' to tell him no. At first he lovebombed her and was all over her with gifts and praise and adoration but that wore off pretty fast. It was over two years before she chucked him out and even then he only left because he had another woman lined up and ready to move in with.

Dita73 Thu 24-Jun-21 04:55:06

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep because if she didn’t want to talk to him she would have stopped by now. He might be an ok bloke who makes a good friend but she just doesn’t want to take it further. There’s no need to write him off as a bunny boiler just yet

Ladylokidoki Thu 24-Jun-21 04:56:57

That's seriously, not ok.

I am guessing, he has split with girlfriend and is a poor housing situation and needs a new home.

This sounds suspiciously like the type of man, that moves in from one woman to the next. Promising them the world, love bombing them to only turn out to be an abusive arsehole and only leaves when forced or he finds the next person who will put up with him. And of course the ex is always a bitch or crazy or variations on that.

Personally I would send a message saying, I am finding this all too full on, please leave me alone and then block him. On everything you can find him on.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep Thu 24-Jun-21 04:58:35

Dita73

*@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep* because if she didn’t want to talk to him she would have stopped by now. He might be an ok bloke who makes a good friend but she just doesn’t want to take it further. There’s no need to write him off as a bunny boiler just yet

You need better boundaries!

Dita73 Thu 24-Jun-21 05:01:54

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep maybe you need to try and see the good in people instead of jumping to negative conclusions

HollyGarland Thu 24-Jun-21 05:11:59

Dita73

*@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep* maybe you need to try and see the good in people instead of jumping to negative conclusions

No. When you have a two year old child to protect and somebody is behaving in a creepy and overbearing way, you don’t need to give them the benefit of the doubt. You protect your child, not the feelings of some random man you’ve only met a handful of times.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 24-Jun-21 05:16:35

It's extremely alarming that you even need to ask if this is all too much. This guy is a living, breathing red flag. A red flag bigger than any flag ever flown. Block him immediately.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep Thu 24-Jun-21 05:17:36

Dita73

*@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep* maybe you need to try and see the good in people instead of jumping to negative conclusions

Women trying to see the good in men like this is what leads them into abusive relationships

Lulooo Thu 24-Jun-21 05:19:04

Sounds like a maniac.

ChaToilLeam Thu 24-Jun-21 05:30:58

At best he is unwell and delusional. At worst he could have sinister intentions. In no way could this man ever be good for you, this is ridiculously full on, you barely know each other.

He has already decided you are in a relationship with him and are going away with him, where’s the consideration for your feelings and opinions? Where’s the consent? Tell him it’s too much, then block and be done with him. You cannot let this man near you or your DD.

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