Bridal couple requesting no "boxed gifts"... Is this normal or cheeky?

(744 Posts)
weekendbreak101 Tue 22-Jun-21 08:23:36

I'm invited to the wedding of a friend. Not a particularly close friend but we've known each other a long time.
On the invitation, the couple have requested "no boxed gifts"..
Can't help feeling this is a bit cheeky... I presume they mean no kettles, toasters, crockery sets and that kind of stuff but to rule out anything that comes in a box??
Feeling a bit annoyed, as I feel it's an indirect way of saying "we prefer money or vouchers". Surely it should be up to the guest what they want to give (or can afford to give) as a gift?
What are other peoples' thoughts on this?

OP’s posts: |
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep Tue 22-Jun-21 08:24:36

It's code for money not gifts. I do think it's cheeky.

Goandplay Tue 22-Jun-21 08:25:02

I understand what you are saying but wouldn’t your prefer to give the couple what they want than waste any money?

LateAtTate Tue 22-Jun-21 08:26:39

It sounds cheeky - but dont boxed gifts a) result in lots of duplicates and b) harder to look after/store?

WorkingItOutAsIGo Tue 22-Jun-21 08:27:22

It’s a standard phrase in certain cultures and yes, it means give me money.

TheKeatingFive Tue 22-Jun-21 08:27:23

Presumably because they don’t want you wasting your money on things they neither want nor need. Sounds sensible.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba Tue 22-Jun-21 08:27:37

don't they have a wedding gift list?

that's what we did 21 years ago

just give them cash, it's the most practical thing to do, makes everyone's lives easier


Aroundtheworldin80moves Tue 22-Jun-21 08:27:42

It's better than 'presence not presents' or a honeymoon gift list...

Itsokthanks Tue 22-Jun-21 08:27:59

It just means they'd like cash or vouchers which is what I'd give anyway. It makes it simpler for guests and the bride and groom get to buy what they actually want.

SinkGirl Tue 22-Jun-21 08:28:19

I don’t think it’s cheeky. Most people have already long been living together when they get married now so don’t need tons of household stuff.

BasinHaircut Tue 22-Jun-21 08:29:00

Perfect. Don’t have to waste time, effort or money on something they don’t want or need. Money in a card, job done.

Why would anyone want to end up with multiple wanky silver photo frames and bottles of champagne in presentation boxes?

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Jun-21 08:29:03

Cheeky. They might as well do one of those 'give us all your cash' poems. Buy them something in a box immediately.

fallfallfall Tue 22-Jun-21 08:29:21

Donate to a charity on their behalf 😉

TheKeatingFive Tue 22-Jun-21 08:29:40

Buy them something in a box immediately.

Now why would you do that? 🤨

LightasaBreeze Tue 22-Jun-21 08:29:42

I would give them a towel

DappledThings Tue 22-Jun-21 08:29:42

Totally normal. And makes it far easier for the guests. I hate having to think of presents.

Keepmekeeping Tue 22-Jun-21 08:30:02

I think it's code. It really depends if they have a furnished house yet I wouldn't want to get things like kettles and toasters because my house is already furnished it would mean either selling my own things or returning lots of things. I would be happy with charity donations or nothing over people wasting money on things I don't need.

I do think people would better being straight about it tbh however my dps very rich uncle asked for cash for their holiday which they could afford alone when lots of the guests couldn't really afford going to the wedding easily that bugged me I donated to the zoo on their behalf instead.

Liervik Tue 22-Jun-21 08:30:52

I'd take this as an opportunity to make something, maybe crochet some cat butt coasters?

Honestly, if it means money, it would have gone over my head and I probably would crochet/knit/sew something relevant (because they're my hobbies)

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Jun-21 08:31:11


*Buy them something in a box immediately.*

Now why would you do that? 🤨

Because they are CFs. Maybe a wine glass set with 'Bride' and 'Groom' on it in glitter. Get it gift wrapped with a big bow. grin

MrsTulipTattsyrup Tue 22-Jun-21 08:31:53

I’d be tempted to buy a cheap kettle, take it out of the box and wrap it up closely using loads of sellotape.

The asking for money is horrible and means that people who are struggling are effectively excluded. Gifts can be bought using things like club card points or in cheap sales, for less than they appear to be worth. With cash, there’s no way to make it easier on a stretched budget.

I hate the idea of giving enough to cover the costs of your meal etc. If you want me at your wedding that’s great, and I’ll want to be there. But there shouldn’t be a price of admission.

Solina Tue 22-Jun-21 08:31:58

I don't get why people get so annoyed about requests for money but a list of stuff seems to be ok? Why would it matter if you give £50 kettle or the same in voucher/money?

BringMeTea Tue 22-Jun-21 08:32:23

So tacky and lacking class. Get them a hanging wicker heart with an inspirational quote.

redtshirt50 Tue 22-Jun-21 08:32:32

I've never been to a wedding that said that, but I presume you could gift an experience for them both if you didn't want to give money?

I think it's fair enough for them not to want to be given loads of stuff they don't want / will never use / won't like.

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Jun-21 08:32:52

How about a nice set of tea towels?

TheKeatingFive Tue 22-Jun-21 08:33:12

Because they are CFs.

They really aren’t.

Anyway, presumably these are friends/family you love enough to want to celebrate their wedding with them.

And you respond by getting them something you know they don’t want and will only go to waste?!?!

How bizarre.

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