What should I tell my sister? I don't want to tell her the full truth!

(139 Posts)
glowyowy Mon 21-Jun-21 20:32:47

Ok so long story short my sister is a mortgage broker. I am in the process looking to buy a house with dh.

Without getting into it we have the cash necessary to buy a house outright. My sister does not know this...for two reasons
1. She talks A LOT and would find this great gossip.
2. She has an enormous jealousy problem.

So, she knows we are looking as it was hard to keep that a secret but now she is asking why we didn't use her as our broker. I don't know what to say. Either way she'll be upset/insulted/jealous and therefore angry.

What do I say? Lie? Or tell her the truth! Wwyd??

OP’s posts: |
Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep Mon 21-Jun-21 20:33:45

You didn't want to mix money and family. Simple

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep Mon 21-Jun-21 20:34:11

(Ie- skirt the whole issue)

HirplesWithHaggis Mon 21-Jun-21 20:34:53

You prefer to keep your business separate from your personal life.

CrazylazyJane Mon 21-Jun-21 20:35:42

That you've been advised that it's not a good idea to mix family and money.

HollowTalk Mon 21-Jun-21 20:36:07

Your bank was offering a really good deal? Then quickly check on the bank's website for their rate.

TubeOfSmarties Mon 21-Jun-21 20:36:54

I think it's fairly normal to avoid using family / close friends for anything financial. You don't need to tell her your circumstances, just tell her you'd prefer to keep it private.

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TheRebelle Mon 21-Jun-21 20:36:57

Presumably she couldn’t be your broker, it would be a conflict of interest, even if it’s not just tell her that’s what someone told you so you didn’t want to put her in an awkward position.

Fitforforty Mon 21-Jun-21 20:37:02

I agree. You don’t want to mix business with pleasure.

Bargebill19 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:37:04

Business and friendship are not a good mix.
She should know that.

Cattitudes Mon 21-Jun-21 20:37:04

If anything went wrong you wouldn't want it to affect your relationship with her.

Bksjshsbbev2737 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:37:18

If she’s going to be upset whatever you do then tell her the truth; it’s likely she’d find out at some point and it’ll just make it worse that you lied.

RampantIvy Mon 21-Jun-21 20:37:29

The not mixing family and money is the best one.

billy1966 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:37:33

HirplesWithHaggis

You prefer to keep your business separate from your personal life.

This.

And don't move from it.

If she has a tantrum, let her.

Best to not be too involved with family if they are as you describe her.

You certainly don't want her to know your business.

tallduckandhandsome Mon 21-Jun-21 20:38:14

Yes, I agree. Say you and DH agreed not to mix family and business and you have to respect that.

YellowFish12 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:38:22

Yup just say you didn’t want to mix family and money

CandyLeBonBon Mon 21-Jun-21 20:38:32

Yeah as pp have stated, you didn't want to mix family and money. Also maybe say something about conflict of interest and mumble about insider trading and it looking a bit dodgy as you back slowly out of the door, getting ready to take cover?!

squiglet111 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:38:50

Your work/husband's have contacts with mortgage brokers that offer you a discount deal due to your job?

tallduckandhandsome Mon 21-Jun-21 20:40:35

squiglet111

Your work/husband's have contacts with mortgage brokers that offer you a discount deal due to your job?

Lies will just complicate the issues.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Mon 21-Jun-21 20:42:00

If she had a good old nose on the Land Reg after purchase, she could see whether there’s a mortgage on it or not.
Just saying.
It wouldn’t say for how much, but IIRC it will say who the lender is.
So maybe you’d like to take out a tiddly little one, in case.

Ellpellwood Mon 21-Jun-21 20:46:14

Don't say it's a conflict of interest. It isn't. She will know this. I'd say you didn't want her to know your finances inside out.

cauliflowerkorma Mon 21-Jun-21 20:52:36

You current mortgage was already a
Cracking deal and fully portable? Presuming she thinks you already had one.

Or we needed to restructure some of our other investments etc to help finance the deal so we used our usual guy and did it all
At once.

Or yes keeping pleasure and business
Separate might work.

Or DH prefers not
To use a broker so we sorted it ourselves.

Totally understand your reasonings i am very private about finances

TriangularPrism Mon 21-Jun-21 20:53:34

You're not using a broker. Easy.

glowyowy Mon 21-Jun-21 20:53:45

If she had a good old nose on the Land Reg after purchase, she could see whether there’s a mortgage on it or not.
Just saying.
It wouldn’t say for how much, but IIRC it will say who the lender is.
So maybe you’d like to take out a tiddly little one, in case.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER really? Ah ffs this is driving me crazy. 😭 she'll want to know!! She is so flipping nosey

OP’s posts: |
HollowTalk Mon 21-Jun-21 20:55:26

So take out a mortgage for a very small sum which won't charge you to repay it early, give it a year and repay in full.

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