Punished at school for saying ‘flipping heck’

[porkincider]

At pick up yesterday the teacher asked me to wait behind for a minute as my 8yo Ds had been put on red (they have a traffic light system- start on green, if really good go to silver and then gold, if naughty go to orange and then red. Get on red twice in a term and you have to go to the headmaster’s office). Ds has always been really good, he’s incredibly shy, hates drawing attention to himself and normally just bobs along on green every week.

He looked mortified when he came out and the teacher told me he’d had to go straight onto red for bad language during PE. Ds tried to say “I only said” but teacher interrupted and said “please don’t say it again, you’ll only get yourself into more trouble”. Anyway, he apologised, we walked home and that was that.

I asked him what he’d said and why when we got home and he told me he missed a goal in PE and said “oh, flipping heck”. I asked him if he was sure that was what he’d said, that he hadn’t said the F word but he was adamant he hadn’t and was in tears of frustration at this point as he kept trying to tell the teacher what he’d said but she just kept telling her not to repeat it.

I messaged the teacher on the school app and said “Ds is very sorry for upsetting you today. He’s adamant that he only said ‘flipping heck’ though and wanted me just tell you that he would never say anything ruder than that either at school or at home”. Teacher immediately messaged back to say that she was aware that was what he’d said, it was more the tone that he’d said it in that she was disappointed about (which wasn’t what she’d told me at pick up) and that I needed to ensure that he was aware that language of that type is not acceptable at school.

Is ‘flipping heck’ rude? I say it all the time and I’m certain that is where he’s picked it up from but I’ve never told him not to say it. I thought it was just a nonsense exclamation.

[Tlollj]

Absolutely over the top. Not a habit to get into granted but blimey hardly foul language.

[cappuccinoandcats]

We say "flippin eck" in Sheffield a lot, so that teacher would have us all on "red".
Are they still using the shame tactic of the traffic light system ?

[Weedoogie]

Nothing wrong with it, they're being ridiculous. Everybody needs an acceptable way to express their frustration/anger/disappointment. Ask them what he is allowed to say.

Flipping heck is perfectly reasonable

[LagneyandCasey]

Poor lad. If its the first time he said it a quick 'We don't say that in school, Joe' should have been enough. Putting him on red when he's usually very well behaved for something he genuinely didn't think was wrong could really rock his confidence. I hope he's OK.

[porkincider]

cappucinoandcats yes they have their photos on the wall and they move them up or down onto the different coloured boards based on their behaviour

[Dementedswan]

That would definately count as swearing at dc school, tbh I wouldn't want my dc saying that. Might be a regional thing tho.

[30degreesandmeltinghere]

Teacher is bonkers.. I would be checking with the ht about school rules on non swearing being offensive!! The teacher must have had a very very sheltered life of that was out of order...
I mean fucking hell would proper fucking swearing have seen her a fucking needing a lie down in a fucking dark room??

[FindingMeno]

I don't think that would even be rude in an Enid Blyton book.

[SuperSecretSquirrels]

Hi mean, it’s not bad language in itself, but it is absolutely a stand in for “fucking hell” and is used as such, so that’s probably what she’s getting at

[HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur]

Sorry, I disagree and think it is bad language that should not be used in school.

[Muchmorethan]

Completely OTT. Lucky she is a primary school teacher and not secondary, as she'd need smelling salts with the language there

[porkincider]

I think the teacher probably misheard, assumed he said “fucking hell” but then decided to dig her heels in when I messaged her. I hate making a fuss at school but poor Ds was absolutely gutted about it and I feel like crap for letting him say it.

[bennyjet]

It's not rude but agree with pp that it's the way it was used as a swear substitute that's the problem

[porkincider]

supersecretsquirrels but it’s not ‘fucking hell’

[shouldistop]

It's a stand in for 'fucking hell' as pp said. I wouldn't want my dc saying it tbh but straight to red was maybe a bit much.

[mayjuneapril]

@Dementedswan

That would definately count as swearing at dc school, tbh I wouldn't want my dc saying that. Might be a regional thing tho.

Where abouts are you? I’d never consider it rude or swearing and surprised some places don

[saraclara]

@SuperSecretSquirrels

Hi mean, it’s not bad language in itself, but it is absolutely a stand in for “fucking hell” and is used as such, so that’s probably what she’s getting at

It really isn't!

Flipping heck is what everybody says where I grew up. Even the most prim of grannies! It's not at all a swear word or substitute.

Whether or not he was rude about the context in which he used it is another thing. But it's absolutely not a swear word any more than 'bother it' is.

[Amammai]

Definite over reaction. Hard to know what is best. I would probably respond to the teacher saying you think the sanction is disproportionate to the ‘crime’, tell your son not to worry and just chalk it up to experience.

[shouldistop]

I think the teacher probably misheard, assumed he said “fucking hell” but then decided to dig her heels in when I messaged her.

Flipping heck and fucking hell sound different though so I don't think she misheard him.

[sarah13xx]

Hi I’m a teacher and there are sooo many phrases like this that aren’t swearing but aren’t really language I’d allow them to use in school. I would just have given him a verbal warning there and then though, I don’t think I’d be moving him down the traffic light system or speaking to parents about it unless it was constant. ‘What the hell’ and ‘oh my god’ are other ones that seems to be so commonly used now that kids don’t even realise they maybe shouldn’t be saying it in school

[AlmostSummer21]

Utterly ridiculous. If she's really so weird a simple 'that's not a phrase we use at school Fred' would have done. Green to Red I'd be taking it over her head! AND I would not be allowing her to dictate what he said when I was there.

[HeronLanyon]

How bizarre. So teacher has said it was ‘more the tone’ but ‘the language was not acceptable either’ - I can imagine a sulu tutting flipping eck with tits etc getting and amber (awful system!) maybe.

Bloomin ‘eck.

[Mousetown]

I wouldn’t say it around my dd and would be disappointed if I heard her say it.

[Arbadacarba]

It's difficult to think of a more tame curse than 'flipping heck'.

[shouldistop]

It's not at all a swear word or substitute.

It is a substitute though, a quick google will show you that.