I went on a bender and told friends im related to an elderly dead singer from the 80s

[AdifferentGoat]

Simple as that. Not proud of my behaviour. I just exploded and while i certainly drank enough to out party the elderly white singer im allegedly related to... Am i being unreasonable to to flee the country as to escape the humuliation?

These arent the closest of friends but certainly a nice group of ladies. It's either i die or postshop photos of myself into some of his later days and hooe no one wonders why i haven't aged in 20 years ..Im shocked no one has clocked on the age difference.

Oh God. Back to sobriety

[Cheeseandlobster]

Who are you related to?

[AdifferentGoat]

Unfortunately I'm still massively hungover over. It's taking all my willpower to type this. Went to see my therapist but she's been too busy chuckling behind her notes.

So much more was said. Ah the humiliation. Apparently i was out rescuing stray dogs at dead of night. I wasnt. Home sat next to snoring baby and husband. Now everyone thinks im a hero. Im not. Just someone who should not be drinking.

[finallymightbehappening]

I think I want to be your friend

[Mumdiva99]

Please tell us the rest of your stories.....
And who were the friends you were out with. I'm guessing school mums.....

You sound like a legend!!

[Wheresmybiscuit3]

What on Earth was she doing chuckling behind her notes? I would consider getting a new therapist

[AdifferentGoat]

Oh God. I cannot confess who it is. Im notorious in my circles for being fakely related to this sad singer and im currently being applauded for my bravery.

Why couldn't I just pass out into a closet like a dignified drunk? Why all the long tales? Back to sober life. I have been working through some issues in my life and have been doing a whole lot better. But apparently my fake dead relative had other ideas.

I have no idea what i am seeking from this post. Still shaking in horror.

[Rae36]

How closely related did you say you were? Dad- not so good. Second cousin twice removed- you'll probably get away with it.
My dad's cousin's granddaughter is a famous singer but I've never met her in my life. Have never met my dad's cousin either, he has dozens of them.

[LagneyandCasey]

I need to know who the singer is and see those photoshopped photos.

After you've provided that info you can flee the country and start a new life.

[AdifferentGoat]

The therapist had been so good. Shes really helped me work through so many issues but I think my relation to said singer sent her over the edge. In her defense she couldn't stop apologizing.

And yes mums I know.

The dogs. The poor dogs i rescued. Has no one wondered where i am keeping a family of dogs that i single handedly rescued?

[AdifferentGoat]

@Rae36

How closely related did you say you were? Dad- not so good. Second cousin twice removed- you'll probably get away with it.
My dad's cousin's granddaughter is a famous singer but I've never met her in my life. Have never met my dad's cousin either, he has dozens of them.

I said he was my uncle. My dad's brother. Different fathers hence the different surname. I may have to just confess the truth.

[AdifferentGoat]

Also can anyone donate dogs to me?

[Labradooodle]

Ah relax. You got drunk and made an ass of yourself. Join the club. Saying that, a joke on facebook about a hangover should go some way towards acknowledging that you know you overdid it.
Tomorrow is a new day! You should hear who im related to! 😅

[Labradooodle]

Ps once on the tube i was puking, and this japanese tourist was drawing his burberry mac clad wife a d daughter closer to him to avoid getting vom splash back on their v expensive attire. I felt quite low down the evolutionary food chain then, and a bad ambassador for london!

[DrSbaitso]

I said he was my uncle. My dad's brother. Different fathers hence the different surname.

Would that not give you the same surname, unless you have taken a married name?

[AdifferentGoat]

Haha you have a point. I might do that. But what do I about all the photos I posted of clouds alongside a poem stating that big things were happening. No clue what i was talking about. I have since deleted my social media but some memories simply won't die unlike my fake dead relative.

Thank you for commiseration. I now what to know who is your relative? Maybe we are related

[AdifferentGoat]

@DrSbaitso

I said he was my uncle. My dad's brother. Different fathers hence the different surname.

Would that not give you the same surname, unless you have taken a married name?

I admit that part slipped my drunk creative alter ego. I'm just going to confess the truth. Or run for it.

[AdifferentGoat]

@Labradooodle

Ps once on the tube i was puking, and this japanese tourist was drawing his burberry mac clad wife a d daughter closer to him to avoid getting vom splash back on their v expensive attire. I felt quite low down the evolutionary food chain then, and a bad ambassador for london!

Haha! I guess you certainly left an impression 😂

[Kittykat93]

OP I was having a pretty shit day but that's really made me laugh, I've told people I'm grade 8 in an instrument before when drunk (I'm absolutely not), was so embarrassed the day after, dont know why I do it !!!

[MaybeCrazy2]

Hahah you sound awesome!

[LagneyandCasey]

We all do it. I told some friends I'd watched all of Game of Thrones when I hadn't watched any at all. No idea why! I always dread it coming up in conversation.

[denverRegina]

Nah leave it, don't confess!

When they ask about the dogs say "what dogs? Oh you mean the HOGS? Yes, cute little family of hedgehogs trying to cross the road bless them. Bloody autocorrect"

[wingsofsteel]

It happens. On a night out with a group of the school mums, one who had recently moved in to the area and didn't know the rest of us that well bragged that before she met her current partner she had worked at a recording studio and dated a number of famous musicians. To the few of us that were sober the supposed timing of this didn't stack up (some of the bands she mentioned would not have been recording in the years she stated etc). She had a load of entertaining stories and little known 'facts' about each of them. She also kept pointing out men in the bar who were apparently eyeing her up/fancied her- when it as pretty clear that these were youngish men with no interest in a bunch of middle aged women. At the end of the night she tried to get in the boot of my car as she 'forgot it was not a Limo'.

She was mortified when we next saw her but no one has judged her.
I'm pretty sure that most of the non-drivers couldn't remember most of it and the next time we met we shared a few 'stupid shit we said when drunk' stories to make her feel better.

[AdifferentGoat]

@Kittykat93

OP I was having a pretty shit day but that's really made me laugh, I've told people I'm grade 8 in an instrument before when drunk (I'm absolutely not), was so embarrassed the day after, dont know why I do it !!!

This is making me laugh. I don't know why i did it but I think I just felt it was an imperative truth I had to share with this nice group of ladies.

It's not too late to learn instrument. In my case short of digging fake relative out of his grave and changing my entire family history...I am stuck. Im mentally preparing for my confessional Other wild things were mentioned including my work in a charity. The truth was I accidentally wondered into a soup kitchen when we first moved to the US.

I know how outlandish this all sounds. So embarrassed. I think I need to check my phone. Gather the last shreds of dignity I have and just confront reality.

[gonow]

We need to know who the singer was 😁. I'll start. Was it Billy McKenzie?

[wingsofsteel]

If you want to keep up the lie about the dogs, just play a recording of loads of barking whenever anyone visits and explain that they are scared of strangers so need to be kept in a different room. I can send you loads of dog hair to coat your clothes and carpets with :)