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AIBU?

to feel embarrassed about my age?

204 replies

17june2021 · 17/06/2021 16:47

I turned 25 in March. I know that’s young in the grand scheme of life, but I feel embarrassed by it. Is it just in my head?

I feel like people treat me differently now. I was 23 when the pandemic began and to a certain extent my life was put on hold so I’m still in the same position I was then. I’m definitely still in the same mind frame as I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

I got excited about the June 21 restrictions easement, and my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore. I feel generally like I’m being looked down on for not wanting to get married and settle down immediately.

I keep seeing things like this online, essentially suggesting I’m hitting my best before date

There’s more too. I know I sound ridiculous as I’m healthy and alive and others don’t get that opportunity - but can’t help but feel insecure about my age.

OP posts:
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CanofCant · 17/06/2021 16:49

YABU.

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BigSandyBalls2015 · 17/06/2021 16:50

Well I still love concerts and festivals and I’m 53 🤷🏼‍♀️. Your colleagues sound dull!

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Bottleup · 17/06/2021 16:50

Might I advise you to stop following lunatics on twitter?

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berylandcynthia · 17/06/2021 16:52

It's not your age that is the problem. people will judge you for something whatever your age. live your life and don't give a thought to what other people think why does it matter to them? and stop reading crap on the Internet.

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Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 17/06/2021 16:53

YABU

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FangsForTheMemory · 17/06/2021 16:53

YABU, and you'd better get used to it, else by the time you're 60 you won't know what to do with yourself!

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thepeopleversuswork · 17/06/2021 16:54

That tweet you shared is the biggest load of misogynistic horseshit I've read in a long time. In the gentlest possible way, if you're listening to people like this you need to get off the internet.

People sticking their beak into your renting and domestic arrangements can also fuck off.

Seriously, if you spend your life listening to stuff like this you'd never get out of bed.

I'm nearly 50 and I couldn't give a tinkers cuss what people think about me, my age or my behaviour and its served me pretty well. I recommend it.

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LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 17/06/2021 16:57

Well yes, it’s just in your head — of course it is. What’s the alternative? Nobody is going to tell you that actually, you’re right to be embarrassed because there is only one legally acceptable model of being 25 years old and you somehow don’t fit that.

What is “the normal transition from 23 to 25”, anyway?

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touma · 17/06/2021 16:58

@17june2021

I turned 25 in March. I know that’s young in the grand scheme of life, but I feel embarrassed by it. Is it just in my head?

I feel like people treat me differently now. I was 23 when the pandemic began and to a certain extent my life was put on hold so I’m still in the same position I was then. I’m definitely still in the same mind frame as I didn’t get the normal transition from 23-25.

I rent with my friends in London and get comments like “at your age?” “Why don’t you live with your boyfriend?” “Why are you still renting?”

I got excited about the June 21 restrictions easement, and my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore. I feel generally like I’m being looked down on for not wanting to get married and settle down immediately.

I keep seeing things like this online, essentially suggesting I’m hitting my best before date

There’s more too. I know I sound ridiculous as I’m healthy and alive and others don’t get that opportunity - but can’t help but feel insecure about my age.


Most people in their late 20s in London still flat share. If you think you're over the hill at 25, it's only going to get worse for you now. You're still young, and will be for a long time yet. Please stop listening to weird outside influences and live your life.
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Flawedperfection · 17/06/2021 16:58

Wtaf is this Twitter account- is it a joke??!

Ffs, bloody men as usual. I love the way that we have to look like perfect Barbie dolls and feel ‘lucky’ to be picked by the misogynistic beer bellied, smelly, balding, halitosis ridden pieces of shits that most of them are! And then to be told we’re over the hill after 25...

YABU, for sure.

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roobicoobi · 17/06/2021 17:00

my colleagues were like I need to grow up as I’m too old for clubbing, concerts and festivals etc I’m not 18 anymore

Your colleagues are weird. Or arseholes. Or both.

Your whole post is bizarre tbh. You are 25, so what?

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Ted27 · 17/06/2021 17:00

I don't understand what you are embarrassed about or what the "normal transition from 23 to 25' is.

I"m not a clubber, but certainly looking forward to gigs and festivals, not sure why these should be reserved for 18 year olds. I'm 56.
I would've thought that there are 1000s of 25 year olds sharing in London

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Cocomarine · 17/06/2021 17:03

I want to know more about the normal transition from 23 to 25!
What on earth is that supposed to be?
You’re way too hung up on this.
Your life didn’t stop because of Covid. Maybe you went to less places, maybe you even didn’t work at all… but you were still living, experiencing, gaining - even if that was only a detailed knowledge of too many box sets 😉

Ignore people’s opinions. I promise you that people have had opinions and felt they had the right to express them to others (though to be fair, sometimes it’s just conversation and no need to be sensitive about them) before and during Covid. And will continue to do so!

You’re just as likely to get “at your age?” nonsense (too old, too young…) at 26, 27, 38, 49… you see where I’m going.

It’s all bollocks. It’s possibly driven by a feeling of life on hold because of Covid - but really, I promise you haven’t missed some Rite Of Passage transition.

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eurochick · 17/06/2021 17:03

That Twitter account is deliberately goady. Look at the subsequent comments.

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Cocomarine · 17/06/2021 17:05

Who the hell are the dicks who think renting in a house share at 25 in London is remotely unusual?! I’d just laugh that one off. Possibly with an “OK Boomer” 😉

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MyMabel · 17/06/2021 17:05

Im 25 on Saturday. I still love going out drinking with my friends on occasion although I’ve always been a home bird to be honest, I have anxiety so I need to really motivate myself to go ‘out out’ and it’s exhausting.

But about 50% of my friends are still big time on clubbing, festivals ect, have no plans to settle down yet.

I’ve one DD, brought our house at 21 and am getting married year after next. But that’s my life and I don’t look at my other friend any differently for having a different lifestyle. Sometimes I envy them because it all looks so fun.. but the only thing stopping me.. is me. Not the fact I have a child or have a (to be) husband?

Yes, physically the clock is ticking for children; but women have babies into their 40’s (and beyond but less so!) the clocks ticking and risk gets higher, but I wouldn’t be worried at 25.. I wouldn’t be worried at 30 personally. It’s a risk you have to weigh up and research and make your own decision on.

Don’t let a woman on Twitter dictate your life.

Plus.. I’ve seen some banging hot pregnant ladies in their 30’s who have their shit together way more than I do.

You do you, boo 💀

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Classica · 17/06/2021 17:05

Your colleagues sound like proper boring farts.

Too old for gigs? I'll be getting wheeled into gigs when I'm 101.

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Marylou2 · 17/06/2021 17:05

I'm 53 and I wish I was 25 again. Not now obviously. Feel really sorry for this generation due to COVID and also bloody social media. You'll have a mortgage and family soon enough if that's what you want. But the important part is that it has to be what you want not your colleagues or some dimwit on Twitter.

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TheMarzipanDildo · 17/06/2021 17:08

I understand you OP. I think you do just have to put it to the back of your mind though and not let it hold you back.

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TheDogsMother · 17/06/2021 17:09

Too old for clubbing at 25. Settling down and getting married. What ????

These friends of yours sound incredibly dull and I'm saying this as a 57 year old. Take absolutely no notice of them, do exactly what you want to do, oh and get some more interesting friends.

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LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 17/06/2021 17:09

Just looked at the link.

You’re not too old for concerts etc., but you are really much too old to be paying attention to the dimwitted junk that account is churning out. I mean, come on.

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LemonSherbetFancies · 17/06/2021 17:11

Most twenty and a lot of thirty somethings I know are still living in the family home. Confused

25 is a child to me. I am in my fifties. Stop living how you think you should life and do things your own way as you are the only person who has to live your life. People will judge you even if you are a homeowner, a ceo of a company who is happily married with 2.4 children. Ignore, block. Delete.

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Classica · 17/06/2021 17:11

Ugh, I've just looked at that Twitter account. Get that anti-women shite out of your life. Fuck sake.

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DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes · 17/06/2021 17:12

I am almost double your age and looking forward to gigs as soon as we can go again - you absolutely are not too old mid 20's were full of clubbing and gigs.

But I did find my 25th birthday tough. I felt like I should have "grown up" by that point but I was single, doing a job I didn't like and gasp living with my parents. Within the next few months I changed job, bought a flat and met the man I'm now married to.

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Patapouf · 17/06/2021 17:12

What's a normal transition from 23-35? Twenties are weird, people can be at such varying life stages. Some women are married with kids by 23, others not ready yet at 29 🤷🏻‍♀️

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