Shall I complain or just leave it?

(224 Posts)
LemonsAreSour Sat 12-Jun-21 20:19:16

I'm possibly being sensitive, hormonal and really stressed about this whole situation. However, this incident did actually upset me and I'm mortified.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, but today I had an appointment (large global chain store) on the high street. I thought I'd go and enjoy the sunshine.

I had some culotte shorts on and I never in a million years expected what happened next sad

Had my appointment and was sat in the room after and I felt blood pouring out of me. I tried to get out the room quickly but as I stood up, the blood began streaming down my legs. I was stood holding my vagina blush whilst asking to use the toilet. I was told no, but I could use the restaurant over the road or some public ones. We had a bit of back & forth debate, I was still told no I cannot use the toilet. I told him I'd had a miscarriage and needed it ASAP.

He went off for 5 minutes and I really needed help by this point so I came out of the room and asked another customer to ask for another member of staff. The customer was lovely and offered To call an ambulance and asked if I was ok etc. At this point another member of staff came over but repeated the same as the first - I cannot use the toilet but gave me directions to the public one! I told him I’d had a miscarriage, I cannot walk over there in front of everyone and I was getting quite upset. I’m not sure what happened after then but a lovely female member of staff escorted me to the toilet and waited with me until DP came.

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet but why did it take so much drama to be allowed? What if it was an elderly or disabled person? It was humiliating stood there with blood pouring out of my shorts.

I guess they’ll just blame COVID but I’m really angry. sad

OP’s posts: |
cansu Sat 12-Jun-21 20:21:29

They sound like idiots. It was a medical emergency. They need some common sense.

Spied Sat 12-Jun-21 20:24:05

Absolutely complain. They can't get away with treating people like that.
flowers. I hope you're feeling better OP.

Ineedmysay Sat 12-Jun-21 20:24:26

That’s just awful and I’m so sorry for what you have gone through, but seriously does common sense not prevail, in your situation exceptions should have been made

shouldistop Sat 12-Jun-21 20:25:00

Oh you poor soul thanks I'm sorry about your miscarriage and how you were treated today. That's really not on.

Waspsarearseholes Sat 12-Jun-21 20:25:06

That's disgraceful. I bet if you were a man with blood pouring out of his dick he'd have said it was ok for you to use the loo.
I'd escalate this, definitely.

Alternista Sat 12-Jun-21 20:25:46

That’s awful! Definitely complain.
I’m really sorry x


cupsofcoffee Sat 12-Jun-21 20:26:58

Definitely complain.

COVID is not a reason to ignore someone having a medical emergency. That behaviour is disgusting and I agree with a PP that if a man was injured, they'd have let him use the bathroom.

StayCalm99 Sat 12-Jun-21 20:27:47

That beggars belief, the lack of empathy for you. I agree, a man with a medical emergency would be accommodated immediately.

Charm23 Sat 12-Jun-21 20:27:50

I'm so sorry for your loss. I would definitely complain.

JustineTimee Sat 12-Jun-21 20:28:21

Oh God how horrible. I'm so sorry OP, how on earth would anyone not have some compassion (and sense!) in such a situation! I would complain for sure, especially as you were already put in the situation anyway to have to explain the backstory with your miscarriage. It must have felt horrible for you to have to mention the miscarriage and even then not receive help at first flowers

NcagainNC Sat 12-Jun-21 20:28:22

That’s AWFUL, I’m so sorry for how you’ve been treated. Beggars belief flowers

Dddflower Sat 12-Jun-21 20:48:17


I hope you are doing OK? Im so very sorry for your loss. Im also sorry with how you were treated today, its absolutely disgusting. Please please please complain, this is just not acceptable. Im not a complainer but have suffered miscarriages in the past and you deserved much better treatment than you received today x

LemonsAreSour Sat 12-Jun-21 20:54:25

I guess I'm struggling to think of what to complaint about? sad I guess they did let me use their toilet eventually, and when a female member of staff knew what was happening she was lovely. She gave me her personal jacket to wrap around me to hide my blood soaked shorts, she left a cup of water outside the toilet and waited for me. The toilet was like a blood bath and told me not to worry. She was an angel.

How dare they tell me to go outside, into a restaurant where over 50 people were dining outside in various cafes etc?

I had my mask on, I was still socially distancing etc. Utterly awful.

OP’s posts: |
Mumsgirls Sat 12-Jun-21 20:59:37

I worked in a bank for many years. We sometimes got asked by customers to use the staff toilet, usually it was for a child. It would never have entered my head to refuse, common humanity in my view.
You should report these jobsworths

Iquitit Sat 12-Jun-21 21:01:28

I'm normally one that defends public facing staff but really, this is appalling.
Yes, complain, because it's the only way these idiots sitting in offices who discipline staff for using their common sense will ever get the message, because that's probably what's happened here, a manager somewhere has said no one uses the toilet in any circumstances and some people are too scared of losing their jobs to go against it in any circumstances.
Thank goodness the lady who helped you wasn't like that.
I'm sorry for your loss and hope you recover soon. flowers

WettyHainthrop Sat 12-Jun-21 21:01:31

You really need to escalate this to head office and give them a detailed account of what happened and how you felt. You can use it as a chance to complain about the barbaric and idiotic responses from the two men, and to praise the angelic kindness of the woman. I’m so sorry. What an awful and harrowing experience.

allthegoodusernameshavegone Sat 12-Jun-21 21:03:44

Please please complain, their treatment to you was appalling, just state the facts as you have here and how you are feeling. Covid or not this is a shocking experience.

BlueButtercups Sat 12-Jun-21 21:04:55

100% complain 💕🌸🥺

CharlotteRose90 Sat 12-Jun-21 21:06:28

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s happened a lot recently places are saying their toilets are closed thanks to covid when actually they should be open. My friend had a burst stoma bag incident last week when the place she was in refused to let her go. My friend has currently filed a claim for discrimination and will most likely win. Please go to the hospital over the bleeding and make sure everything is ok and then make a massive complain.

foxyariel Sat 12-Jun-21 21:06:53

Hi OP,
I think I would write to the company to first of all thank the female member of staff who was so kind. Then I would mention the way the male member of staff dealt with your emergency and how much distress it caused you. Suggest they need to revisit their staff training.
I'm sorry for your lossflowers

VeganCheesePlease Sat 12-Jun-21 21:07:32

Omg that is absolutely disgusting treatment OP, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I had a miscarriage a few months ago and can absolutely relate. I'm so very for your loss and I would absolutely complain. Two staff members saw your suffering and instead of using their common sense and helping to preserve your dignity, they did the complete opposite.

CovidVaccinatorintheMaking Sat 12-Jun-21 21:07:38

You poor thing. I have Crohn’s disease and have been refused a public toilet in more than one occasion and I’ve had an accident in public.

I completely understand not allowing the general public to use a toilet but you were more than in need and they treated you terribly. I would definitely complain.

I hope you are ok now OP x

SheldonesqueTheBstard Sat 12-Jun-21 21:07:47

Covid doesn’t mean you have to have a lack of compassion or abandon decency in favour of a mask.

I’m sorry for your loss flowers

Cherrysoup Sat 12-Jun-21 21:09:39

Omg, you poor thing! Please complain and escalate if you don’t get a satisfactory response. What were they thinking?! I hope you’re ok. flowers

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