To tell neighbours children to leave me alone

[Pleaseleavemealone]

Live in terraced housing. Next door is a 2 bed hmo with about 4 adults, recently a mum dad and 3 kids have moved in (5, 7 and 9). As the weather is warmer understandably everyone is in their gardens.
Next doors kids just don’t understand privacy. Every single time we go in our garden - whether I am popping out to hang laundry or if my own children (3 and 1) are playing in our paddling pool - next doors kids heads pop over the fence and they just stand there the whole time staring and answering to everything I say to my own kids. For example :
Me to my daughter - “do you want an ice lolly?”
And before my daughter can answer next doors kids say “can I have one?”
Or if I am smoking (no judgment please I am trying to stop!) next doors kids will say “ew are you smoking?” And everything I do they ask me if I’m doing that.
It is getting so annoying and feel that I don’t even want to be in the garden anymore because these kids are just watching and butting into everything I say/do.
Their parents are sat in the garden the whole time and don’t say anything! But I feel it’s not my place to tell someone else’s kids off really and they aren’t being naughty.
The fences aren’t shorter than average, they have dragged something over to stand on just so they can look over my fence.
I will be on the phone (I go in my garden to take calls sometimes as my tv is on/kids are chatting away) and next doors kids will be calling me over the fence to ask me questions or ask where my children are.
Right now I’m sat in my garden after a long day of paddling pool fun, my children are inside having a drink and cool down and the kids are telling me to bring my kids outside ffs

[Pleaseleavemealone]

Please tell me if I’m being out of order!! Of course kids are kids and they are being friendly, but privacy please!

[Pleaseleavemealone]

Also when I was in the kitchen last night I heard the boy telling my daughter it’s good to eat bugs!

[Ladywinesalot]

Either ignore everything they say/ask

Or tell them to ask their Mum

[Thehop]

When you want privacy say “I’m having quiet time now, time for you to go to your garden”

“I’m sorry we’ve only got enough for us, you ask your mummy” (or buy some mega cheap ice pops now and again if you want)

“Time to go to your garden now, we’re having family time”

[Hopdathelf]

Are you engaging with them? Maybe the parents think you don’t mind. I’d there are no issues between you and the neighbours you could perhaps explain you go out for some peace and quiet and don’t want to be spoken to.

[Howshouldibehave]

How tall are the fences?

That would really annoy me!

[SiobhanSharpe]

Be polite but firm. No, your DC can't come out. Sorry, no, you can't have an ice cream.
Don't give excuses or any encouragement. Your DC are not really old enough to go and play with 5, 7 and 9 year olds you don't know.

[SleepyPartyTime]

You have to say something OP or completely ignore them and see if they get bored. It shouldn't be your job to tell their kids not to stare over the fence but since their parents aren't bothering it'll have to become your job.

[1starwars2]

I don't know. Its not unreasonable to want some privacy in your garden, but these kids seem desperate for some adult attention.
I would chat to them for 5 mins and then say goodbye and try to ignore them.

[MangoBiscuit]

I think I'd be adding a trellis along the top of the fence.

[LoopTheLoops]

I had this but living in a gff every single time I went into the garden the kids would hang out the window and stare at us, was pointless approaching the mum as she would do the same, I found ignoring worked best

[hopeishere]

@Thehop

When you want privacy say “I’m having quiet time now, time for you to go to your garden”

“I’m sorry we’ve only got enough for us, you ask your mummy” (or buy some mega cheap ice pops now and again if you want)

“Time to go to your garden now, we’re having family time”

Do not buy ice pops!!! That will encourage them to keep asking. Just ignore them.

[ReginaaPhalange]

I used to have a neighbour like this and yes she was same age to me but I would just put headphones in my ears to look like I was listening to music so never replied as "I couldn't hear her". Is that an option for you?

[Pleaseleavemealone]

The fences are 6 foot, they are climbing up to look over. I’m not engaging with them, mostly just ignore them but my oldest child is befriending them so it’s obviously encouragement. I can’t really tell my child to not speak to them as I don’t want her to become unkind

[LoopTheLoops]

I disagree with pp I wouldn’t chat with them at all it will seem like you don’t mind/are encouraging them

[StoneofDestiny]

Trellis over the fence, with jaggy climbers going up.

[marmitepasta]

I think I would nicely tell the parents that I was finding it an invasion of privacy.

[DinosaurDiana]

@marmitepasta

I think I would nicely tell the parents that I was finding it an invasion of privacy.

This.

[HumansAreShocking]

Just tell them to F Off 🤣

[WellLarDeDar]

lol I would feed them something really sugary so their parents have to deal with hyperactive kids all weekend. The parents would soon start paying attention. Probably best you dont do that though, can you paint the top of the fence with something sticky to deter them? Or just tell them to go away? Loudly. Or tell them to go ask mummy and daddy for a new toy or something. TBH the kids will either need to get bored of you or the parents will have to step in.

[Iceybirb]

I'd reply in a neutral tone "Its not polite to climb a fence and look into someone else's garden. Please get down and don't do it again".

And repeat each time.

[DropItBouncer]

I've put fake leaf willow trellis on my fence for just this reason. Next doors nine year old would hold on to the top of the fence and watch us like we were on TV.

[ThinWomansBrain]

I think I'd decide it was time to use a hose to water the plants near the fence whenever they appeared.

[RightYesButNo]

Aren’t they overcrowded by the space standard, if it’s a 2-bedroom? Each adult counts as 1, each child as 0.5, and you only count bedrooms and the living room in a house (so probably 3 rooms for a 2-bedroom?). So that’s 4 + 1.5 for the kids is 5.5, and you’re only allowed 5 for 3 rooms. (Once a child reaches 10, they count as 1, not 0.5). england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/repairs/check_if_your_home_is_overcrowded_by_law

Also, it’s difficult to say. I think I agree with saying, “Go talk to your mother instead,” every time, like a broken record. Either they will leave you alone or (very rarely, but we have to admit this happens sometimes), they will say something like, “No she slaps me if I bother her too often,” or, “No, she’s always asleep after taking her medicine,” and then at least you’d know why two parents seem not to care at all that their children are so extremely rude, besides the parents just being arses, which is also possible.

[BreatheAndFocus]

Yes, it is very annoying, no matter what the children’s intentions. If you can, make your fence higher or less attractive to look over. I had to do this with a neighbour’s son years ago. We initially mended the holes in the fence he was looking through to speak to us constantly, but in the end just put a new fence up.

The funny thing was as we were putting this new fence up, child comes over and says “Oh - I won’t be able to see into your garden now and talk to you”. I was so fed up with him by this stage, I answered “Yes, that’s why we’re putting it up. We don’t want you looking in our garden and talking all the time”!

I think you’ll have to ignore them, or be quite abrupt in your answers in the hope they get the message you don’t want to talk. If that doesn’t work, I like the “Ask your mummy” suggestion above. Perhaps the parents will stop them if they’re the ones who keep getting pestered 😄