Page 8 | To wonder how many divorces cycling is a factor in?

(198 Posts)
Sugarcoatedalmond Fri 11-Jun-21 15:12:37

I cycle myself, as does DP. We both do other sports / clubs too & each have approximately one evening per week plus a few hours at a weekend to ourselves. We’ve both cut back on our “hobby” time since having kids though. So just to be clear I have nothing whatsoever against cyclists.

However, so many of the cycling blokes we know are regularly doing all day rides (think 100 miles plus, plus coffee/lunch breaks). They do this most weekends, plus weekday rides sometimes too.

DP asked how the ones with young kids get away with it.

I responded that I bet there’s some pretty unhappy wives/partners behind the scenes and the blokes shouldn’t be too cocksure of themselves as there’s regularly women posting on here about obsessive cycling partners & being told to LTB.

With cycling having a massive spike in popularity at the moment, AIBU to wonder how many break ups it contributes to?

OP’s posts: |
JellyBabiesFan Fri 11-Jun-21 22:06:21

My partner loves cycling although being a father he is aware that he cannot go out on both Saturday and Sunday for hours on end. He voluntarily goes out at about 6am so I am only parenting alone for an hour or so.

If any of your partners or husbands take the mick by doing out for hours on end during the day causing you to struggle with parenting you need to make a stand. At some point during the day head out for a couple of hours and leave them with your children. A friend did this and her partner always discussed his cycling plans after that.

freesolo Fri 11-Jun-21 22:07:53

Not the main reason for the divorce for me, but yes, a factor. Holidays abroad for example would be him having a 5 hour ride most days whilst I looked after our 3 young children

QioiioiioQ Fri 11-Jun-21 22:30:12

Exercise can be addictive but not everyone has the propensity to become addicted to it, one might say it is an acquired addiction.

QioiioiioQ Fri 11-Jun-21 22:36:09

4) when he wasn't working and could not afford to pay the loan he would flog the bike for peanuts
He sounds infuriating🤬 sketchy and flaky, I wonder how his life is doing now👀

Northernparent68 Fri 11-Jun-21 23:28:30

VladmirsPoutine

In fact this reminds me - one of my friends thinks his wife divorced him because he left his plate 'by' the sink as opposed to inside the sink or washing it up. He genuinely thinks she divorced him because of a plate that was left on a kitchen table. The fact of the matter is that his carelessness did this - the plate was just an example of it - they didn't literally get divorced because of a plate.

The wife must have brought this up and it was very petty.

LateAtTate Fri 11-Jun-21 23:34:16

@Northernparent68 not if it’s a pattern of behaviour that consists of constant leaving messes everywhere leaving wife to clean up.
Plates by sink, laundry on floor outside hamper, glasses and plates on dining/coffee table ... list is endless...

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TroysMammy Sat 12-Jun-21 08:39:59

@QioiioiioQ he's early 50's now, works in a bicycle shop.

QioiioiioQ Sat 12-Jun-21 11:21:47

TroysMammy

*@QioiioiioQ* he's early 50's now, works in a bicycle shop.

Well at least he's in his element!

QioiioiioQ Sat 12-Jun-21 11:56:31

I wonder what those lycra loving lads think of this....👀
amp.theguardian.com/science/2021/jun/11/scientists-link-intense-exercise-with-mnd-risk-in-some-people-motor-neurone-disease

paniniswapx3 Sat 12-Jun-21 12:16:51

Cocomarine

I’m going to say absolutely zero.

It isn’t the cycling that leads to divorce, it’s the selfishness of the cyclist.

If they didn’t have cycling, they would have:
- golf
- football
- sitting in the pub all day
- computer gaming
- choosing those shifts at work
- just opting out of contributing to family life when actually physically in the home

A selfish person will always find a way to indulge their selfishness.


Completely agree with this!

cupsofcoffee Sat 12-Jun-21 12:26:15

LateAtTate

*@cupsofcoffee* yes, but nobody needs to be forced into drinking so they? ‘Most people’ enjoy it. Whereas ‘most people’ don’t enjoy exercise, they tolerate it for the health benefits.

Not saying that exercise addiction isn’t real but as pp have pointed out a lot of men are too selfish to bother with the impact that their hobby has on other people. If it wasn’t exercise it would be something else...

Nobody is forced to go out cycling or running for hours either. It's a choice.

Chesneyhawkes1 Sat 12-Jun-21 12:31:38

I'm out every day running or cycling. Sometimes both. DH seems pleased - he can sit on his PlayStation for hours!

If I say I'm only going out for a quick 8 mile run - won't be long - he days "oh why not do 20 miles. Take your time" 😂

LuvMyBubbles Sat 12-Jun-21 12:41:16

NDSandG

My DH goes out for up to half the day on a Sunday and I'm not that happy about it as it generally means we can't do anything as a family until about 2pmish after he arrives home, makes a protein smoothy, spends an hour looking at strava, another hour on loo followed by shower.....
Also turbos most nights in garage. Regardless don't think it would result in divorce. It helps to keep him healthy and I'd rather he cycles that propping up the bar somewhere.


Why do you stay?

Wherearemymarbles Sat 12-Jun-21 12:42:25

Probably fewer than gliding!!!

HeronLanyon Sat 12-Jun-21 12:44:08

Gliding - I was in a flight tracker app the other day (a huge military transport helicopter flew very low over my house and I wondered if they showed up). Anyway I know there are gliding clubs. But bloody hell the number of them and the number of
Gliders popping up was astonishing !

Wecouldbesohappybaby Sat 12-Jun-21 12:48:12

My ex was always a keen cyclist but when DS was around 3 he decided he was going to start doing IronMan events. The training for this involved him cycling to and from work 5 days a week (always taking the long way around, total 3 hours round trip instead of 10 minutes each way), followed by a swift bit of dinner (as prepared by me) and a quick ruffle of DS's hair before being back out the door to go to running club or swimming every single night. Sunday, he'd be up at ridiculous o'clock to go for an 'epic bike ride' hmm from which he would return for about 5pm, absolutely shattered and good for fuck all.
I pleaded with him, told him how lonely I was and how exhausted I was doing all of the childcare, all of the housework and working but he couldn't give a flying fuck. He was going to do what he wanted and it was my role to support him. The twat had the audacity to be surprised when his obsessive training was the headliner in my divorce application.
I agree with PP though. Cycling/ running/ swimming wasn't the problem: my selfish dick of an ex was the problem.

moostermum Sat 12-Jun-21 13:17:50

NDSandG

My DH goes out for up to half the day on a Sunday and I'm not that happy about it as it generally means we can't do anything as a family until about 2pmish after he arrives home, makes a protein smoothy, spends an hour looking at strava, another hour on loo followed by shower.....
Also turbos most nights in garage. Regardless don't think it would result in divorce. It helps to keep him healthy and I'd rather he cycles that propping up the bar somewhere.


This made me chuckle, my DH does exactly the same 🤣

LemonDrizzles Sat 12-Jun-21 17:34:02

There are parents, both mothers and fathers, who practise absentee parenting whereby they are trying to avoid parental responsibilities. If a parent chooses to cycle as a way to manifest such avoidance, I would say yes cycling could be a contributing factor but the same could be said about any activity that is used in such a way. It's wonderful having hobbies and something outside of all the family identities to do - these need to be encouraged and accommodated but all the families interests / hobbies need this so there will always be a bit of a push and pull on the balance of this. It's hard for me to imagine a world where cycling every weekend for 1/2 a day could do this as this is an individual activity. But I know plenty of families who spend 1/2 day at a family gym. Maybe some compromises could be found?

QioiioiioQ Sat 12-Jun-21 17:55:11

With my father is was sailing, mother used to insist that he took me with him to give her a break, that was until we accidentally capsized one day and she was too scared of what might happen next time.
I think he did it on purpose to scare her so that he could enjoy his hobby properly without me in tow

paniniswapx3 Sat 12-Jun-21 18:03:30

Did they stay together @QioiioiioQ?

QioiioiioQ Sat 12-Jun-21 18:21:52

they did not

paniniswapx3 Sat 12-Jun-21 18:25:58

Sorry to hear that but doesn't sound surprising @QioiioiioQ

HeronLanyon Sat 12-Jun-21 19:33:10

My dp has had sailing, fencing, bee keeping episodes but they’ve all been quite short lived grin

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