To be annoyed at people collecting things for free

(91 Posts)
Thisismycon Tue 18-May-21 10:06:34

I’ve given away various things to help others. Nearly every time I give something away I get a message such as “I can collect tomorrow at x time” or “I’m on my way now” aibu to think especially if you’re getting something for free you could ask when’s okay for the person?

OP’s posts: |
WhatATimeToBeAlive Tue 18-May-21 10:11:07

I don't think "I can collect tomorrow at x time" is unreasonable as you can always say you won't be in then. If they are coming "now" and it's not convenient just leave it on the doorstep if you're giving it away and they can collect at their convenience. I've done that loads.

MolyHolyGuacamole Tue 18-May-21 11:57:55 what? They're letting you know when they're free (in referring to the first example) and you can say if it works. Just because it's free doesn't mean they don't have work and other commitments which leaves people with a specific window in which they can collect something?

I assume you're giving things away that you no longer need, not just out of the goodness of you're heart. They're taking something off your hands that would otherwise be dumped

LadyWhistledownsQuill Tue 18-May-21 12:00:19

Why does this annoy you? It's "can I", not "you must be in at X time"

When I give away free things like this I just check what day they'll come and leave them in the porch for them to collect at their convenience.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Tue 18-May-21 12:02:01

I'm with you on this OP. It's a lack of social graces. Like the people who respond to my ad for rooms to rent who say "I'll be free at 4pm to come and view" - just a sign of the times I'm afraid

Thisismycon Tue 18-May-21 12:03:56

No I wouldn’t have dumped it a lot of the things are well known brands that I could have sold I choose not to though to
Help other. Personally I would ask when’s convenient for the person giving it away if it was the other way round. For example I a lady was going something away the other day she wanted it gone within half an hour so went straight away to
Collect it from hwr

OP’s posts: |
Starlightstarbright1 Tue 18-May-21 12:04:18

I tend to leave stuff on doorstep then i don't care what time they collect.


Thisismycon Tue 18-May-21 12:04:32

Yes of course they have things to do but so does the person giving it away.

OP’s posts: |
Streamingbannersofdawn Tue 18-May-21 12:05:57

Ah, we do this...the trick is to write. Please contact me to arrange a mutually convenient time to collect or Collection after 4pm or similar.

Otherwise just leave the item in the porch/shed/by the gate then you dont need to interact at all.

Whatapalavaa Tue 18-May-21 12:06:18

You're being a bit precious.

KindergartenKop Tue 18-May-21 12:06:29

I have found that you get much better responses on eBay/fb marketplace and charge a few quid for the thing. If people feel it has value they act differently.

CrazyCatsAndKittens Tue 18-May-21 12:07:03

This is why I left our local freecycle group. It just got kind of ridiculous with all the demands of the people who were giving stuff away. There are basic manners but just normal stuff like this is fine.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 18-May-21 12:07:58

Free things can be left outside (if you have any outside space), so no interaction required.

The worst are low-priced things, for which people don't bring the right change.

MolyHolyGuacamole Tue 18-May-21 12:08:27


Yes of course they have things to do but so does the person giving it away.

I don't understand the drama? They let you know a time that works for them and you let them know if it works for you. If it doesn't you give another option. You're giving an unwanted item away, not solving world hunger.

minipie Tue 18-May-21 12:14:30

I have definitely found that some responses are much more polite than others.

There’s a big difference between

“Is this still available? If so please could I collect it one day this week after 5pm”


“I can collect this today”

I’m a lot more likely to give the item to person 1

Please and thank you and a bit of trying to fo what’s convenient for the giver make a big difference

Thisismycon Tue 18-May-21 12:17:45

Must of the messages are I can can collect today with no please or can you keep this for
Me till Friday again no please.

OP’s posts: |
lottiegarbanzo Tue 18-May-21 12:22:55

Then there's 'can you deliver to x location?'

I understand (some of) those though, because when people are desperate, they lose dignity, so have nothing further to lose by making 'cheeky' requests.

Unfortunately there are plenty of hard-nosed CFs out there, making statements and demands for others to comply with, too.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 18-May-21 12:24:45

'I can collect today' is fine though. You can say 'ok, 4-6pm suits me', or 'today's not convenient but tomorrow 4-6pm would work'.

Then half of them don't turn up, of course.

Thisismycon Tue 18-May-21 12:25:26

I have one woman that also asks for nearly everything I post meaning others done get a chance but as it’s first to comment she has to have the items

OP’s posts: |
lottiegarbanzo Tue 18-May-21 12:30:06

Use a different format. You can list things on Marketplace at £0. People DM you, so no-one knows who was first.

rainbowunicorn Tue 18-May-21 12:31:02

Perhaps you should just stop offering things. It looks as if the whole process from start to finish just annoys you. You have moaned about people wanting to pick up that day, wanting it kept for them and also about someone actually wanting too much of the stuff you are giving away.

Just save yourself the angst and stop doing it. It is obviously not for you.

LadyWhistledownsQuill Tue 18-May-21 12:32:57


I have one woman that also asks for nearly everything I post meaning others done get a chance but as it’s first to comment she has to have the items

Is this Facebook? If so, block her acccount. She won't be able to see your posts and will therefore no longer be able to comment, so others get a chance.

rooarsome Tue 18-May-21 12:33:59

I wish people would say "I can collect right now"! Most of the time it's people asking to hold until x date or time, and they don't turn up or message with some flimsy excuse after the time has been and gone.

skybluee Tue 18-May-21 12:35:22

I don't understand the problem - if it doesn't work for you you then just say - actually tomorrow would be a lot better, can you come then at 2pm? etc.

skybluee Tue 18-May-21 12:41:09

Also, it depends what the items are but maybe a good option would be leaving them outside?

I used to do this with trainers. There was a wall near where I used to live. If I put trainers on it then went back half an hour later they'd always gone. This was instead of taking them to a charity shop. It seemed to cut out that portion of it.

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