I like the gift DH gave to his ex wife better

(126 Posts)
Anuta77 Mon 17-May-21 16:23:25

For Mother's day, my DH gave me a flower bouquet from a pharmacy with a chocolat (brand that I often buy myself and not the type that I like the best and he knows it). Pharmacy bouquets fade really fast and he knows it, I always mention it.

To his ex wife, he got an online voucher for a facial treatment. According to me, it would be more expensive than flowers, but he says that the bouquet was more expensive. But even if we forget the price, I feel that a treatment is much nicer than a bouquet and I feel upset. AIBU?

OP’s posts: |
MichelleScarn Mon 17-May-21 16:26:37

Mothers day back in March? Or are you stateside? How old are the dc the gifts technically 'from'? Could ex's dc had more input?

Singalongasong Mon 17-May-21 16:27:08

So you'd rather he bought his ex flowers? Careful what you wish for.

4PawsGood Mon 17-May-21 16:28:01

Why is he buying his ex anything? Was it from his children?

Cadent Mon 17-May-21 16:28:30

How much was the treatment? Was it meant to be from the dc?

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 17-May-21 16:29:05

Of course YANBU to prefer a beauty voucher to flowers.

shouldistop Mon 17-May-21 16:29:10

How old are the kids involved? Technically the gift is meant to be from them.

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Dancingpinkgini Mon 17-May-21 16:29:12

Yabu, you should be happy that he is the kind of man who still thinks of and does things for the mother of his DC.

Bluntness100 Mon 17-May-21 16:29:41

Isn’t the gifts from the kids? Do you have kids with him? How old are they and how old are the kids with his ex? Do they have a say?

Anuta77 Mon 17-May-21 16:32:02

The gift was from him, not from the children who are grown. It's just a tradition that they have. Usually, he gives something smaller. He didn't tell me the price, I found out about the gift from his teenage daughter (they have been seprated for years and she has a new partner).

OP’s posts: |
PicaK Mon 17-May-21 16:32:14

He physically bought the flowers. He ordered online for his ex.
I think that's the difference

Anuta77 Mon 17-May-21 16:33:26

Bluntness100

Isn’t the gifts from the kids? Do you have kids with him? How old are they and how old are the kids with his ex? Do they have a say?

Yes, we have a child together and his gifts are not from the kids who are grown and can buy something themselves.

OP’s posts: |
HappyWipings Mon 17-May-21 16:33:34

Both gifts are a bit meh in my opinion!

Did your step kids choose the beauty voucher though? If they did then it's really a non issue.

Ingridla Mon 17-May-21 16:34:39

I feel like maybe you're being a bit petty but I understand why, I'd be the same probably grin
I think the main point is that he's a nice guy. You're lucky!

BrumBoo Mon 17-May-21 16:37:19

He bought her a nicer gift and he technically didn't even need to (yes mother of his children, still weird when divorced in my mind)? I'd be expecting a full spa day in comparison, especially if your child is young enough to need to be bought for....

TakeYourFinalPosition Mon 17-May-21 16:37:50

Both gifts seem a bit meh to me, but I also think buying your ex-wife a Mother’s Day present that isn’t from your children is a bit odd. I can see that it’s a nice idea, as she had his children, but in practice it just seems odd.

Anyway, I don’t think he’s necessarily picked a better gift for her, and he physically got your gift, which takes more effort than randomly buying something online...

Is there anything else bothering you, or is it just that you’d rather have her gift?

JungleIsMassive Mon 17-May-21 16:38:13

Just let him know that in the future you would appreciate a facial over flowers.

mainsfed Mon 17-May-21 16:40:41

I think the fact that knew what you would have liked (florist bouquet and special chocs) but didn't bother is the issue here. He could have ordered online for you too.

Orangebug Mon 17-May-21 16:44:22

Yes, I'd be pissed off too OP.

FoxtrotSkarloey Mon 17-May-21 16:46:39

I'd prefer the flowers to the face thing, but I find it very odd he is buying his ex anything. That's what would bother me most.

Ponoka7 Mon 17-May-21 16:46:58

I'd talk about it with him. He's picked something that he could send. It sound as though he hasn't put much thought into your gift.

Jobsharenightmare Mon 17-May-21 16:47:13

I'd be annoyed he put no thought into the gift for you.

user1493494961 Mon 17-May-21 16:50:20

I wouldn't give a thank you for a beauty treatment voucher but I do like flowers and chocolate. Saying that, it's about time he stopped buying his ex anything.

Bibidy Mon 17-May-21 16:50:33

Anuta77

The gift was from him, not from the children who are grown. It's just a tradition that they have. Usually, he gives something smaller. He didn't tell me the price, I found out about the gift from his teenage daughter (they have been seprated for years and she has a new partner).

I wouldn't be OK with this, he shouldn't be getting her a gift. That's madness.

CaptSkippy Mon 17-May-21 16:51:03

I'd say both present are a bit low effort and seem somewhat last minute. But ofcourse you have every right to your preferences. You husband should know them by now and be more thoughtful.

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