Should I just give up on the idea of buying a house?

(175 Posts)
radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:07:05

17k soon to be in the bank. Income of 25k per year. Have recently been in a situation where I've afforded 800 a month rent, plus 1000 childcare fees and bills etc. Bit of help from UC. Now live with family member to save a bit more. Feel like I've spent the last 10 years working my arse off, being frugal, saving, driving a crap car, and STILL cannot afford a house. The cheapest 2 bed near me that's suitable is around 160k. And that's a doer upper. According to the bank I can borrow 100k. Deposit of 15k, still 45k short. It's hopeless isn't it? Feel like it's just going to get worse and I'm better off just living my life, saving a bit, going on a couple of hols and getting a council flat (if I'm lucky). Feeling defeated as you can probably tell.

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radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:09:57

What's even worse is that once I've got the 17k in the bank (from house sale, ex has been living there), if I can't buy a house, my universal credit will stop completely and I'll just have to use my savings anyway on childcare and rent because I'll have over 16k. So all that money I've worked hard for will be gone. I am so stuck and really gutted with the whole situation.

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PickAChew Sun 16-May-21 23:12:34

It is shit and it's not like 17k lasts long when you need it to pay the bills.

Cheeseandlobster Sun 16-May-21 23:13:03

I feel the same op. Salary same as yours. Savings of 25k but I still can't afford to buy. The market is bonkers. Everyone I know has had family help to get on the ladder. If I am honest I am envious as shit. If I don't buy in the next year I will be too old for an affordable mortgage and the tick tock is deafening.

radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:16:48

Honestly I don't even know that I can afford to go back to private renting. I'm living with family until at least when my son's 1000 childcare fees go down. I feel hopeless. I know exactly how you both feel. It keeps me up at night.

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radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:18:04

And my family definitely aren't in a position to help. I've had a look at what a mortgage advisor has told me I can borrow and all there is available in my area is a fucking tug boat. Great.

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LolaButt Sun 16-May-21 23:20:52

I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to get a house when you’re on your own.

Are you eligible for a family springboard mortgage (if you have someone who can help you).

Is shared ownership an option?

I really feel for you. We struggled for many years wasting money on rent and never being able to save enough for a deposit.


NEE1302 Sun 16-May-21 23:22:41

Have you spoken to a mortgage broker such as London and Country?

And how long will you be paying childcare fees? They'll be significantly reducing the amount you can borrow. Can you take your child out of nursery temporarily?

radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:32:07

What would I do with him when he's out of nursery? I work 5 days a week. The job is low pay but the progression is really promising, and it's so secure. I don't have any family who can help me as they're also mortgaged up to their eyeballs or haven't even been able to buy themselves. I live in one bedroom with my two year old. I'm exhausted. Hopefully this would put us in a high ish band for council housing. I don't want a mansion, I'd even give up the luxury of a garden. I just want somewhere to call our own.

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radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:32:27

Thankfully his childcare will reduce in January next year.

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radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:40:11

I'm genuinely tempted to just put all the money in premium bonds so my son can get a place when he's old enough and won't have to deal with any of this!

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tv86 Sun 16-May-21 23:45:06

keep saving and keep looking. Something will become available. once lo is in school that's an extra 1000 pound a month to go towards a house. can you look into shared ownership?

OneEpisode Sun 16-May-21 23:47:24

Premium bonds are actually a good idea. You can sell them if you need them but they are psychologically sticky! Your child care costs will reduce before you know it. flowers

radiateforme Sun 16-May-21 23:59:59

I think it just seems worse than it is because I'm stuck in one tiny bedroom with my 2 year old. I haven't had one full nights sleep since he was born, I'm fed up, I don't feel like I'm in my 30s at all. I feel like a teenager. All the while my ex is living in the house we own together until he gives me my equity and he gets to stay there as his dad is guarantor. I just feel like my life is pointless at the moment. If I didn't have my son I would just be a massive waste of space. I feel like a complete failure.

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OneEpisode Mon 17-May-21 00:04:49

You have made a person! 2 years old! Amazing! It gets better too.
Will ex have visits from DS? What will you do during that time?

Saltyslug Mon 17-May-21 00:13:20

It will get easier

radiateforme Mon 17-May-21 00:15:05


You have made a person! 2 years old! Amazing! It gets better too.
Will ex have visits from DS? What will you do during that time?

He doesn't see him at all. It's court ordered because of domestic abuse.

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OneEpisode Mon 17-May-21 00:20:06

I’m sorry to hear that. It does get easier though. Mine soon would sit and “read” a picture book. As they get taller they can get more benefit form outings to the supermarket and the post office (not just looking at knees). DC are more active in the day and sleep better… and so will you.

Babyroobs Mon 17-May-21 00:23:33

You cannot claim UC with more than 16k in the bank. I guess this rule makes it hard to save enough.

HeddaGarbled Mon 17-May-21 00:42:09

If you can get UC with £16 k in the bank, but not £17 k, I’d just spend the extra £1000, or keep it in cash.

You say you have a job with promising progression prospects, so you’ll likely be able to get a bigger mortgage in time. Plus the housing market is over-heated at the moment.

I’d get yourself on the waiting list for social housing anyway. You might get lucky.

Derbee Mon 17-May-21 00:49:38

Whereabouts are you? Is Help to Buy or Shared ownership an option?

Aria999 Mon 17-May-21 05:00:42

I know it's a while off but when he's at school you will have the extra £1k a month that you were paying for childcare.

Can you give some of the £17k to someone you trust (parents?) so you don't lose the benefit, to be given back when you need the deposit?

Bloodybridget Mon 17-May-21 05:19:34

It's not an extra £1000 pcm that OP will have when her DS is at school, she said she spends that on childcare and bills!
OP I am sorry that it seems impossible to afford to buy. Others have mentioned shared ownership and I guess you've looked into that?

normalsaline Mon 17-May-21 05:23:48

move somewhere cheaper

Aria999 Mon 17-May-21 05:27:37


I read it as £1k childcare fees and (in addition) bills etc but I dare say you're right

Still, school is a saving

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