To think I've done nothing wrong here?

(263 Posts)
TedRed Sat 15-May-21 15:46:51

Went out before to the shops and noticed a sale on a few child items so bought DC some new pyjamas.

DH thinks I should have thought and got step children some too whilst there as they also need new pyjamas.

Now I admit I didn't even think about it, just thought oh they are nice for X and in the sale and bunged them in the basket.

AIBU to think I've done absolutely nothing wrong and if he is that concerned about his children's pyjamas he can go back and get them?

I don't have a problem doing things for my step children but I don't expect to be called selfish for just buying something for my own child.

And before anyone asks, yes step children are here today when I brought home said pyjamas but there is quite a big age gap and I highly doubt they cared.

OP’s posts: |
ViciousJackdaw Sat 15-May-21 15:49:23

I think YANBU but as a step mother, surely you should know that you are responsible for all the world's evil.

Soubriquet Sat 15-May-21 15:49:55

Actually I think you’re a little bit in the wrong

If your SC are visiting that day, then it would have been nice to pick up something too for them.

UhtredRagnarson Sat 15-May-21 15:51:29

Had he told you they needed new pyjamas or were you supposed to magically know that information?

TheLastLotus Sat 15-May-21 15:52:41

You’re 100% not in the wrong. YANBU.
Also if I had a younger child and bought pyjamas for them I wouldn’t need to buy my older child stuff as well.
Them being stepchildren is a red herring ...

Ihopeyourcakeisshit Sat 15-May-21 15:53:20

Also think you're a little bit wrong. If the step kids are visiting, but them something too, or if funds perhaps do not allow, wait to give your own child the new stuff. It spares feelings and all that stuff.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit Sat 15-May-21 15:53:35

*buy

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TedRed Sat 15-May-21 15:53:37

UhtredRagnarson

Had he told you they needed new pyjamas or were you supposed to magically know that information?

Apparently it's obvious from the state of their pyjamas (it's not) and even so I could have asked him when I saw there was a sale on apparently.

OP’s posts: |
feckwit Sat 15-May-21 15:54:10

You were unreasonable if you knew they needed new pjs too.?

TedRed Sat 15-May-21 15:54:36

Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Also think you're a little bit wrong. If the step kids are visiting, but them something too, or if funds perhaps do not allow, wait to give your own child the new stuff. It spares feelings and all that stuff.

If it makes any different, my child (our child) is a baby so I didn't 'give' them anything. They just needed some new pyjamas.

OP’s posts: |
TedRed Sat 15-May-21 15:55:20

feckwit

You were unreasonable if you knew they needed new pjs too.?

I didn't. He's saying I should have messaged him and asked when I saw the sale. I don't even know if there was a sale of older kids stuff, I was in the baby section!

OP’s posts: |
mainsfed Sat 15-May-21 15:55:23

YANBU. Does he ever buy them pyjamas or is this for the little women in his life to organise?

Orangebug Sat 15-May-21 15:55:37

YANBU. I have three DC and sometimes I'll pick up an item of clothing for one of them, that doesn't mean I have to buy for all three. Why should step DC be any different?

If you'd bought a treat for DC that would be different, it would be mean not to include them, but for a functional item like pyjamas it's fine.

AlmostSummer21 Sat 15-May-21 15:55:38

How old are each of the children?

Do the SC need pj's?

elp30 Sat 15-May-21 15:56:41

@TedRed

Yeah, that exact same scenario is why I ended up divorcing my first husband.

I loved my step-daughter dearly but I found it hard that after "our" son was born, she became "our" daughter but "our" son being "mine".

His daughter is now 39 and our son is now 29 and my ex-husband still prioritizes his daughter over our son.

Crazy.

ArnoldJudasRimmer Sat 15-May-21 15:56:55

YANBU, you don't have to buy something for every child all the time, it's fine to buy for just one if you see something they need/would like. 🤷‍♀️

Ihopeyourcakeisshit Sat 15-May-21 15:58:23

Oh fair enough then, he's being a tit.

TedRed Sat 15-May-21 15:58:41

AlmostSummer21

How old are each of the children?

Do the SC need pj's?

Our DC is 1, DSC are 8 & 10.

And yes apparently they do (I didn't know that!)

OP’s posts: |
Soubriquet Sat 15-May-21 15:59:09

Ah your dc is only a baby

I changed my mind. Not unreasonable

UhtredRagnarson Sat 15-May-21 15:59:29

He’s making a deal over nothing. My children are both my biological children and I’ve gotten things for one and not the other and I’ve forgotten if one needed something. It’s not a big deal. All he has to do is say “oh DSC need pjs too so I’ll go and see if the sale is on older kids stuff.” Dont accept him making this into something bigger than it is.

ThatIsMyPotato Sat 15-May-21 16:00:34

YANBU, all the children will need new clothes at different times. If I bought my DSC something every time my (younger) daughter got something new we would be broke as she is growing so fast. Different if he said in the last week or so, DSC need new pajamas soon then I probably would have checked. But he is responsible for his own children's clothes.

EL8888 Sat 15-May-21 16:00:55

@mainsfed of course he can’t concern himself with clothing shopping. He probably has a Big Important Man Job to do

ThatIsMyPotato Sat 15-May-21 16:02:20

Just saw your update. He is being ridiculous, the baby is going to need more clothes a lot more often. When the older ones get clothes as they've had a growth spurt does your baby get them too?!

Crankley Sat 15-May-21 16:03:47

I think you are totally, 100% reasonable but this is MN and on here step mothers are evil spawn, therefore I would completely ignore any posts telling you otherwise.

StillCoughingandLaughing Sat 15-May-21 16:04:42

He’s being ridiculous. It’s not like you’ve excluded your stepchildren from a day out or a treat - you’ve bought some pyjamas for a baby! It’s a purely practical item; I doubt your stepchildren are seething with jealous rage.

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