To not understand this?

(168 Posts)
BlossomOnTrees Tue 11-May-21 12:23:45

Was with sister earlier on and she was carrying a bag which she was going to give to the husband of her friend. It was over her shoulder. After a brief chat he came over and silently removed the bag from her shoulder taking it into the house. Sister told him never to invade her space again without asking first. It was incredibly awkward and he also looked very embarrassed. Nothing has happened to her as in abuse so I am a bit perplexed as to the strong reaction. Aibu to say she completely over reacted and made a big deal out of nothing?

OP’s posts: |
MishMashMummy Tue 11-May-21 12:25:58

He was quite rude. She was definitely more forthright about it than most people would be. So often women are socially conditioned into just accepting this kind of rudeness without saying anything to be polite. I imagine it was awkward but I also admire her for standing up for herself like that. It’s brave and tbh more of us should do it.

IceSwallowCome Tue 11-May-21 12:27:31

Well it's a bit weird to walk up to someone and just take a bag off their shoulder without saying anything...

midgedude Tue 11-May-21 12:29:28

Perhaps he didn't want to interrupt ?

NormanStangerson Tue 11-May-21 12:31:31

They’re obviously having an affair and your sister is trying to throw everyone off the scent.

BlueVelvetStars Tue 11-May-21 12:31:40

midgedude

Perhaps he didn't want to interrupt ?



exactly what I thought confused

AnonGlitterBomb Tue 11-May-21 12:33:50

The first couple of posts are so bizarre.

Presumably he just didn’t want to interrupt the conversation.

Some MNers really do hate men don’t they and want to make everything the man’s fault hmm

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IceSwallowCome Tue 11-May-21 12:36:30

AnonGlitterBomb

The first couple of posts are so bizarre.

Presumably he just didn’t want to interrupt the conversation.

Some MNers really do hate men don’t they and want to make everything the man’s fault hmm

A simple "will I take that bag?" is hardly a big interruption.

AlmostSummer21 Tue 11-May-21 12:39:03

Why didn't she take it off her shoulder & pass it to him when she saw he was approaching her?

She was rude & weird.

wildeverose Tue 11-May-21 12:40:45

This is all very bizarre

Brownteddybear Tue 11-May-21 12:43:07

Would he have taken it off the shoulder of a man?

MishMashMummy Tue 11-May-21 12:48:49

I don’t hate men. I love men. But I think silently walking up to someone and taking a bag from their shoulder is rude. If he didn’t want to interrupt he could have waited, or he could have politely said ‘sorry to interrupt, could I possibly just take that bag now?’. Either approach would have been fine. But just silently walking up to someone and taking a bag from their shoulder is quite rude imo.

Bbq1 Tue 11-May-21 12:51:08

Brownteddybear

Would he have taken it off the shoulder of a man?


Someone always pops up with, "Would they do X to a man?" Why wouldn't he have removed the bag from a man's shoulder? The woman was rude, he may have needed the bag/contents of the bag urgently and got fed up waiting. If you are taking something to somebody you drop that off first then can stand chatting to somebody else. When she saw the man heading towards her she didn't remove the bag and offer it forward? No, she just grimly hung onto it so it had to be removed from her shoulder. Odd.

YouShouldLeave Tue 11-May-21 12:59:18

MishMashMummy

He was quite rude. She was definitely more forthright about it than most people would be. So often women are socially conditioned into just accepting this kind of rudeness without saying anything to be polite. I imagine it was awkward but I also admire her for standing up for herself like that. It’s brave and tbh more of us should do it.

First post got it.
I agree.

Brownteddybear Tue 11-May-21 13:01:46

I'm not saying he shouldn't have removed the bag from this hypothetical man's shoulder @Bbq1 the reason I asked is if his behaviour would be similar and if not, why does he think he can do that to a woman?

He could have opened his mouth and asked for it to be passed to him if it were that imperative to have it.

slashlover Tue 11-May-21 13:17:16

Did he approach her from in front or from behind? I've had customers approach me from behind and tap me on the shoulder, it sometimes give me a fright if I don't notice.

luxurychocolate Tue 11-May-21 13:32:34

I think the affair theory is valid !

BlueVelvetStars Tue 11-May-21 13:58:33

Your Sister is vicious

Daria32 Tue 11-May-21 14:45:15

Is your sister especially vigilant re Covid. Could it be that he came too close? Unmasked etc...

MoreAloneTime Tue 11-May-21 14:47:40

I wouldn't like someone doing that to me to be honest. I don't think I'd kick off, probably just sit there feeling uncomfortable.

Mamamamasaurus Tue 11-May-21 14:49:21

He was a bit forward (maybe not the right word but contact and closeness are unknown) but she was a bit rude.

Rosewood017 Tue 11-May-21 16:20:37

I agree about the affair.

Was the brief chat with his wife?

BrumBoo Tue 11-May-21 16:28:14

No she didn't overreact, and it has nothing to do with being a 'man hater' (and very doubtfully an affair). He didn't need to come near her, he could have just said 'oh shall I take that' about the bag as soon as he saw her, or as soon as she finished talking. You don't just silently come over to a person and remove something from their possession without saying anything, it's weird, passively controlling behaviour. He was illmannered at best, she was exceptionally firm (but not incorrect) in her response.

zingally Tue 11-May-21 16:29:12

She was rude and weird.

ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing Tue 11-May-21 16:32:13

He was rude and weird.

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