Bitchy comment? Or am I being sensitive?

(57 Posts)
NC267891 Wed 05-May-21 20:41:57

So this is probably going to sound ridiculous but it's been a long day and I'm likely being a tad sensitive. My friend is buying a flat (she's 30). She always has Christmas day at mine as she's not very close with her family. Today, she said that she'd seen a place and she's very excited about it (as am I as it looks lovely) and she said "it has a dining room, how nice will it be for us to have Christmas dinner in a dining room rather than on the sofa?". I do having a dining table in the kitchen but we prefer to have Christmas dinner in the living room where it's more relaxed. As I'm cooking dinner, paying for it, serving it and washing up, I've really just done what I like. I'm feeling a bit miffed by the comment. Am I being unreasonable?

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EnglishRain Wed 05-May-21 20:43:33

It's hard to know without hearing the tone in which it was said, but my initial reaction is YABU and that it wasn't meant to sound bitchy. Sometimes comments slip out and we only realise how it sounds when it leaves our mouth, or we fail to notice entirely!

Sparklfairy Wed 05-May-21 20:44:24

I think she probably is just excited about her new place, got carried away and put her foot in her mouth. Had that traditional 'Christmas dinner' postcard image of the family all sat around the table. Dont take it personally OP. Is she hosting (and paying for) you this year then? wink

NC267891 Wed 05-May-21 20:45:32

EnglishRain

It's hard to know without hearing the tone in which it was said, but my initial reaction is YABU and that it wasn't meant to sound bitchy. Sometimes comments slip out and we only realise how it sounds when it leaves our mouth, or we fail to notice entirely!

Thank you! I came off the phone thinking, well okay don't come round here for Christmas dinner but I have been feeling a tad sensitive the last few days.

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Quaagars Wed 05-May-21 20:45:38

Hmm, don't think she was being intentionally bitchy (easy for me to say obvs as I wasn't there to catch tone!)
Sounds like she was excited at getting a new place and let her gob run away with it and blundered putting her foot in her mouth.
So more tactless and unthoughtful I'd have said

Aprilshowersandhail Wed 05-May-21 20:45:41

Sounds like she is exited about being able to return the gesture..
Accept it with good heart!

BewareTheBeardedDragon Wed 05-May-21 20:46:13

It sounds quite nice really - she enjoys having Xmas with you and is envisaging hosting you in her new place?

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Quaagars Wed 05-May-21 20:46:32

OK, there was no other posts when I started commenting, so I've just cross posted with the entire rest of the thread saying basically the same thing lol

StrictlyAFemaleFemale Wed 05-May-21 20:46:56

I think she just got carried away. Look forward to Christmas as a guest!

Hadenough21 Wed 05-May-21 20:47:30

Doesn’t sound particularly bitchy, I think she’s just excited about the flat. Don’t take it to heart or dwell on it, it’s unlikely it was meant badly.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Wed 05-May-21 20:47:42

Aprilshowersandhail

Sounds like she is exited about being able to return the gesture..
Accept it with good heart!

Yes I read it like that too

georgarina Wed 05-May-21 20:48:00

Definitely an annoying comment and YANBU for it to have rubbed you the wrong way, but odds are it was just an insensitive oversight from her as she's excited about her new flat

NC267891 Wed 05-May-21 20:48:36

Oh thanks guys! I actually wanted to be unreasonable hahaha. I guess I felt a little "common" by what she said? Like what I do at Christmas isn't good enough? Again, as I said I'm feeling sensitive!

Although, yes, very much looking forward to not having to do Christmas dinner for once 😂.

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covetingthepreciousthings Wed 05-May-21 20:48:57

It's a tad insensitive but I wouldn't take it as bitchy I don't think if she's not got form for those kind of remarks. I think it sounds like she's just excited about being able to host Christmas in her new place.

the80sweregreat Wed 05-May-21 20:51:25

I understand how you feel but once she's in remind her of the xmas invite and see how it pans out. She owes you a few dinners by the sounds of it.

1Morewineplease Wed 05-May-21 20:53:28

She's just being wistful about being in her new home. Christmas is often one of the first things that you envisage in a new home.
Don't fret about it and look forward to being waited on .

FastFood Wed 05-May-21 20:53:39

Ha she's defo excited about the flat and returning the favour for Xmas dinner! I'd be too if I had a dinning room.
I don't think she's been intentionally bitchy, but I do understand that it can feel a bit like it for you.
Any chance she said that as opposed to her current house / flat?

idontlikealdi Wed 05-May-21 20:55:45

Do you really have Xmas dinner on your lap when you have a table? If you didn't have a table I could understand.

I don't think she was being itchy, more excited t she could reciprocate the favour, at a table.

laidbacklife Wed 05-May-21 20:56:33

I think she’s just excited about being able to invite you round to hers. If she’s spent Christmas Day with you more than once then she’s clearly enjoyed it.

NC267891 Wed 05-May-21 20:57:12

@FastFood She's lived back with her parents for the past year and prior to that lived with her OH. They moved back home to save money to buy. The whole time I've known her (8 years) she's had Christmas dinner at mine (her OH spends the day with his family and like I say she's not close with her family plus I tend to invite anyone to Christmas dinner to mine so it's very relaxed haha).

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Quaagars Wed 05-May-21 20:58:15

idontlikealdi

Do you really have Xmas dinner on your lap when you have a table? If you didn't have a table I could understand.

I don't think she was being itchy, more excited t she could reciprocate the favour, at a table.

Personal preference, surely?
Not everyone has a table, or may have one but prefer on their laps?
I think I'd be happy wherever I was eating it if someone invited me round for Christmas dinner

AlmostSummer21 Wed 05-May-21 20:58:18

I don't think it was anything other than 'foot in mouth' when excited. Friends have done the same to me & I'm sure I've done it to them too.

Christmas at yours sounds cosy...Christmas at hers sound perfect (as she can do all the work instead!!)

NC267891 Wed 05-May-21 20:58:40

idontlikealdi

Do you really have Xmas dinner on your lap when you have a table? If you didn't have a table I could understand.

I don't think she was being itchy, more excited t she could reciprocate the favour, at a table.

Yup. With a tray, a glass (or 2) of prosecco and a Christmas film on. I guess that's where my feeling "common" has come from 🙈😂.

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Quaagars Wed 05-May-21 21:12:04

@NC267891
We usually sit round the table, but that sounds absolutely perfect, sitting round watching Christmas films with Prosecco!
can I come next time you're hosting lol
(Can't beat Elf btw)

NoProblem123 Wed 05-May-21 21:12:58

I also think she’s looking forward to treating you this year. I’m sure her intention was nice smile

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