To be pissed off with this comment?

(144 Posts)
overreactionorno Tue 04-May-21 21:10:31

So been chatting/seeing a couple of times - bubbling we're both single adults - this guy. He's always been lovely and nice, respectful etc. I've got a good sense of humour and we enjoy banter.
So last night we were texting about meeting up again soon. From ages ago he's been after a massage off me as I'm qualified and I enjoy doing them. I've also got a yappy dog who can be annoying.
Text conversation went along the lines of have you got oil and a muzzle? I was confused as my car is currently in the garage being fixed and didn't know if he was referring to that, so I said 'oil? What for?' To which the reply was 'oil for the massage and the muzzle for you'
Now call me over sensitive and I'm prepared to get the piss taken out of me, but is this not quite a nasty thing to say to someone ? Especially when he's been kind and sweet and gentlemanly over the last few months of contact ?
(I'm more than willing to be B ing U)wink

OP’s posts: |
Palavah Tue 04-May-21 21:12:20

Not nasty as in cruel, but nasty as in suggestive of BDSM, which does nothing for me.

If it's not your sort of thing then just tell him.

user1471457751 Tue 04-May-21 21:12:24

That would be enough to make me ditch him. What a pig

KizzyMoo Tue 04-May-21 21:13:26

I'd take that as he first obviously meant the dog but then thought it would be funny to change it and say it's for you, meaning you are chatty and he wants a peaceful massage. I'd take it as a joke.

JustAddCoffee91 Tue 04-May-21 21:17:41

Yeah sounds like he's an arsehole!

Terminallysleepdeprived Tue 04-May-21 21:19:24

My first thing was for the yapping dog but actually he has been a bit creepy.

I would be wary op

Ivycrescent Tue 04-May-21 21:20:31

Ew. I can’t think of a way in which that comment isn’t either offensive or yucky.

slashlover Tue 04-May-21 21:20:59

It's difficult to understand tone over text. I'd have taken it as a joke though.

ThatIsMyPotato Tue 04-May-21 21:21:17

Ick

Lelophants Tue 04-May-21 21:22:02

Creepy.

overreactionorno Tue 04-May-21 21:23:22

Thanks for the replies. I think you're right it started as the muzzle fir the yappy dog and he changed it to me for a 'joke'. But I didn't think it was funny at all and thought it may just have been me.
He's texting me now being nice and friendly. Think I'll just ignore and block. Thanks vipers smile

OP’s posts: |
dudsville Tue 04-May-21 21:23:57

I wouldn't like it.

BelleBlueBell Tue 04-May-21 21:24:23

That would be a no from me, horrible comment and it doesn't even make any sense, why would you need a muzzle to do a massage confused

sparepantsandtoothbrush Tue 04-May-21 21:26:18

Especially when he's been kind and sweet and gentlemanly over the last few months of contact

And now he's charmed you his true self is appearing. You're right to get rid

heidbuttsupper Tue 04-May-21 21:26:49

I wouldn't appreciate that comment either op. It's not even funny if he was trying to make a joke

Billandben444 Tue 04-May-21 21:28:15

Perhaps he was meaning to text
"and the muzzle for you.r dog" but pressed send to soon? Trying to find an excuse here for such a nasty comment!

overreactionorno Tue 04-May-21 21:28:33

BelleBlueBell

That would be a no from me, horrible comment and it doesn't even make any sense, why would you need a muzzle to do a massage confused


Haha yeah, I'm not even that talkative, and especially not when doing a massage, you normally keep it to minimal chat for the relaxation aspect.

OP’s posts: |
RiseNBrine Tue 04-May-21 21:30:29

Hard to tell if it was meant as a joke or what – the muzzle to keep you off him (cause it’ll be hard to resist) or stop you talking or something? @KizzyMoo ‘s suggestion sounds plausible. On the other hand I suppose it could also have a darker or sleazier subtext or reveal a dodgy attitude.

Given the fact you guys banter it sounds like it’s most likely a misguided attempt at a joke, but I’d find it offputting too and would probably leave him to sweat on read with that one. Keep your ears open for any other flags or signs of weirdness / inappropriateness / disrespect.

Eloiseifyouplease Tue 04-May-21 21:31:15

I personally would've just taken it as a joke, I think he was trying to be funny.

But if you're concerned or it offended you, just ask him why he said it. His answer to you asking him about the comment will tell you all you need to know about him.

Ariannah Tue 04-May-21 21:31:40

If he was going to say the muzzle was for the dog... well that’s even worse than saying the muzzle was for you! Anything other than love expressed towards my dog would be a deal breaker for me. Either way it’s a bad comment, I’d ditch him.

Howyoudoingirl Tue 04-May-21 21:32:35

I would assume it was a joke maybe in a 'you won't be able to resist me type of way. Either that or maybe referring to a mask. I refere to my mask as a muzzle

HannaHat Tue 04-May-21 21:32:37

Big no from me, even if he meant my dog.

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy Tue 04-May-21 21:33:40

No way ... he's employing the stereotype of women's voice being an irritating, inconsequential thing. Even if you forgave it now you'd never quite forget that's his view of your voice. Run for the hills!

NoProblem123 Tue 04-May-21 21:39:19

Red flag. Look out for others.

SelkieFly Tue 04-May-21 21:39:28

It is easy to be charming for 3 weeks.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in