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AIBU?

to let child indoors in these circumstances?

98 replies

Knitwit101 · 04/05/2021 15:34

We're in Scotland, no indoor home visits allowed, but you can sit indoors in a cafe.

I've been caring for a friend's child a lot recently, she's had some major health problems. I've looked after him for years, she looks after my boy, never a problem, I would do anything for her while she's sick. Her dh is completely unbending on the covid rules.

7 yr old boys, they've been really good about staying outside all winter and spring, through some pretty horrible weather. They've played under the car port thing outside our kitchen door when it's been raining.

Past few weeks the weather has been mostly okay and they've played outdoors no problem.

Yesterday and today, typical Scottish bank holiday, it hasn't stopped raining. They were outdoors in the car port for 4 hours yesterday, they were cold but they didn't complain.

I had him again this morning and it was forecast to rain on and off all morning. I asked if I could take them to a cafe for an hour but her dh said no, even though that's not against the rules. He wants them to stay outside.

It's been raining all morning and thanks to the wind direction the rain was blowing straight through the car port. They still played out for a good while, they did their best, playing on the trampoline between showers and hiding out in the one corner that was sort of sheltered from the rain when it was really wet.

After nearly 2 hours friend's son came to the door and asked if he could go home because he was cold.

I texted my friend and asked if he could be picked up in the next half hour as he was too cold, said I would give them a hot chocolate while they waited. So they went back to their corner with their hot choc and a blanket each to wait for friend's dh (who works from home) to come and collect him.

45 minutes later no sign, kids are cold and wet and miserable. Even their blankets are wet. They were properly shivering. And this is 2 kids who have been outside every day since whenever we were last allowed indoors so they're pretty hardy I would say. It's just been non-stop wet the past 48 hours, the kind of wet that gets right in your bones.

I brought them inside and let friend sit on a kitchen stool just inside the door, left the door wide open, but at least he was out of the rain and wind, and texted friend to say he was now indoors, he was too cold, could they collect him asap or could I bring him home in the car, also against the rules but max 3 minutes door to door.

She phoned me minutes later to say her dh was coming for him right now and he was to go back outside and wait.

I told him he had to go back out so all 3 of us went and stood in the one tiny dry-ish corner under the car port while it took his dad 20 minutes to drive 3 minutes to collect him.

So was IBU to let him inside when I knew his dad wanted him to be outside? When I had told them he was cold and needed to be collected and it took them an hour from when I first asked them to come for him?

If a friend of mine had left my kid standing outside soaked through in the rain I would have been pretty pissed off and questioned their judgement. But I did go against his dad's wishes so maybe I am wrong.

There are exemptions for emergency childcare, my friend would happily use them in her current circumstances but her dh says no way. Her dh works from home so theoretically their ds could have stayed at home, both his parents were in the house, although my friend would probably have been asleep and her dh would have been working.

She's messaged me now to apologise for her dh and to thank me for having ds for her again. So I've obviously caused problems there between her and her dh too, when she's already unwell and stressed.

Thank goodness they're back at school tomorrow, we can meet indoors soo, hopefully the weather will improve, and friend's health is improving, so hopefully we won't have a repeat of this shitty day.

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SpringtimeSummertime · 04/05/2021 15:36

You did the right thing. Poor child.