About comments from colleague about me using Facebook

(148 Posts)
CathyTurnbull Mon 03-May-21 22:00:08

I feel a little upset. A colleague of mine (let’s call her Kate) is looking for a new job and I casually asked why as she had always seemed so happy. She was a bit vague saying she’d had a few issues within the department and wanted a change etc.

I was then chatting to another colleague (let’s call her Sam) who said that Kate felt there was a lot of favouritism within the department and it seemed that people are rewarded not by how hard they work or how good they are at their job but how popular they seem to be on Facebook especially with our head of department (let’s call her Anne). I feel this general remark was definitely aimed at me.

At the beginning of the pandemic I felt people in certain sectors had been completely mistreated and did heavily use social media as a platform to get my voice heard to try and represent people.

My colleagues went very quiet as I assumed they didn’t want to get involved which is fine, but Sam has seemed a bit dismissive for a long time. Anne is really nice and supportive but I feel there is some animosity with other colleagues.

Nothing has been said directly to me but now things are starting to resume a bit of normality there seems to be a coldness and distancing. I sometimes hear things said like ‘I’d never post x, y or z as it’s completely unprofessional and lacking in integrity’. Anne posts loads of stuff all the time on SM

I’m not sure if I’m over thinking this? How would you feel if you were me?

OP’s posts: |
TheRavenNevermore Mon 03-May-21 22:12:22

It does sound as though you have behaved in a highly unprofessional manner by airing your work grievances on Facebook.
I can't deal with all the Let's Call Her stuff I'm afraid. It's just confusing.

Womencanlift Mon 03-May-21 22:12:31

You talk about your job on social media? Don’t know where you work OP but that would be a big no no for me (in fact it would be a disciplinary matter to discuss work on Facebook)

I don’t quite understand how you posting on social media would lead to others feeling like there is favouritism but if she feels like that then she is quite right to get out of that environment if it’s not good for her

Tuesdaysintheazores Mon 03-May-21 22:13:05

It might just be me but I found your post quite confusing. But either don't use facebook as much or just ignore them I'd say, they're work colleagues not bffs.

HercwasanEnemyofEducation Mon 03-May-21 22:19:22

Depends what you posted. Posting specifics about your workplace isn't great. Posting general stuff is fine.

Eg I posted about teachers being screwed when we returned in September due to government policies, but nothing about my school.

OverByYer Mon 03-May-21 22:20:46

I’m not following the logic here sorry

HollowTalk Mon 03-May-21 22:23:02

Why on earth are you talking about work on social media?

YellowGlasses Mon 03-May-21 22:23:02

I don’t think ranting about your employer on Facebook is a good look but equally, most younger people have moved away from Facebook now so you might find you need to move with the times as well if that’s your platform of choice.

Imnothereforthedrama Mon 03-May-21 22:24:12

****At the beginning of the pandemic I felt people in certain sectors had been completely mistreated and did heavily use social media as a platform to get my voice heard to try and represent people.

This comment I think that you are were unprofessional and if you colleague wants to leave stop trying to find out why.

Nekoness Mon 03-May-21 22:29:08

So you’ve been blasting your opinions about your workplace all over social media about a group you don’t even represent/are a part of, and now someone’s quit directly because of your posts? I

SchrodingersImmigrant Mon 03-May-21 22:31:03

I am usually pro facebook, but you probably took it too far. Which probably should have hit wheen they stopped interacting.

Is this a reverse tho? I don't know why it feels like it

CoRhona Mon 03-May-21 22:31:15

I think Kate, Sam and Anne sound lovely. Can you tell us about more of your colleagues, Cathy?

PlanDeRaccordement Mon 03-May-21 22:39:08

Who are you upset with? I am lost.

Is it Sam for gossiping poison about Kate behind her back?

Or do you believe Sams gossip and think Kate was lying about why she is looking for a new job and are upset with her?

How does Kate leaving your workplace this effect you exactly? Apparently you used FB to air various political views and since your boss (Anne) is of same opinion/mind, you are getting “lovely supportive” vibes from her. Is that preferential treatment or not?

Francescaisstressed Mon 03-May-21 22:40:38

This is the most confusing post I've read.
But basically
- why are you talking about your job on social media?
- have you and your manager seemingly been chummy on social media?
- if either of the above, then yes it seems a bit unprofessional

Summerdayshaze Mon 03-May-21 22:43:19

Can’t understand a word you’re on about.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand Mon 03-May-21 22:44:58

My personal rules for social media:

- I never, ever friend people I work with. Once I'm leaving a job, I might add those that I genuinely want to stay in touch with.
- I don't list my job, except on LinkedIn. My Facebook does not state my employer.
- I don't refer to my work at all, except in the most anodyne terms (E.g. "excited to be starting a new job next week")
- Anything I post is my own views only, nothing that I am not happy to be 100% in the public domain, and I never discuss what I post at work.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand Mon 03-May-21 22:46:15

Posted too soon, but to summarise - mixing Facebook and work is asking for trouble IMO. Just don't do it. If you want to post about work, do it on LinkedIn, and make it professional.

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 03-May-21 22:46:39

Leave kate to her job search. She could have any reason for leaving. Sam is a gossip. Neither of you should be talking about her behind her back.

The fact that this has made you question your use of social media suggests you know you went overboard and were unprofessional or divisive. Anne agreeing doesn’t mean you were right. Tbh colleagues starting to keep their distance is a big old sign you were probably wrong.

What if anything do you want to do now?

Why are you upset?

CathyTurnbull Mon 03-May-21 22:46:55

I’m upset because I feel others within my department think I am unprofessional without directly saying it to me.

I do have a good relationship with Anne, and I think Sam and Kate feel pushed out or jealous because of that.

I also feel a bit uncomfortable because I think Kate and Sam feel I am favoured because Anne and I have a strong presence on SM and they don’t. I’m sure they think all SM is rather silly which makes me feel belittled.

OP’s posts: |
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand Mon 03-May-21 22:48:28

But it sounds like you might have been unprofessional.

Did these posts relate to your work / employer?

DungeonKeeper Mon 03-May-21 22:50:04

What were you saying on SM?

This is confusing.

OverByYer Mon 03-May-21 22:51:38

Are you an ‘ influencer’?

AlCalavicci Mon 03-May-21 22:54:07

At the beginning of the pandemic I felt people in certain sectors had been completely mistreated and did heavily use social media as a platform to get my voice heard to try and represent people.

Did they ask you to represent them ?
Is that part of your job ? ( I have been a company rep and its a thankless task most of the time )
Had you or them go to HR / management to resole the issue(s) first.

If you did this without consulting me first I would I would be mighty pissed off , I may already be talking to someone to get the issue resolved .
Even if I was not , I still wouldnt want someone posting on FB my work problems .
And as a employer I would find it very unprofessional , if someone did this in the company that I work for ( which is fairly relaxed ) they would get a dressing down at the very least .

VodselForDinner Mon 03-May-21 22:55:04

I’m upset because I feel others within my department think I am unprofessional

But you were unprofessional.

I can see why your colleagues would want to distance themselves from you and your conduct.

PlanDeRaccordement Mon 03-May-21 22:55:42

I think Kate and Sam feel I am favoured because Anne and I have a strong presence on SM and they don’t. I’m sure they think all SM is rather silly which makes me feel belittled.

No can’t be. Trust me, if you had a strong presence on SM and it had any views contrary to Anne’s, you would not be favoured but tolerated or targeted and managed out. So, don’t be naive about it.

If they thought SM was “silly”, then Sam would not have said what they said. It would have been a nonissue and Kate wouldn’t be looking for a new job.

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