To ask the nanny not to have hot drinks whilst looking after the children?

(297 Posts)
namechangedasouting Mon 03-May-21 20:14:51

We have a new part time nanny, currently settling in with out just 2 year old and 5 month old. I'm not back to the office for a couple of months but am WFH part time (hopefully, I will soon be able to be WFH on the nanny days, but currently I'm around to help most of the time whilst she's here).

We're on week 3 now, and there a few things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. She is drinking a lot of tea/coffee (at least 10 cups a day) which in itself is fine, but she leaves them accessible to my toddler. They are piping hot (freshly boiled water), not left to cool before being brought into reach. More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby? I'm not a tea/coffee drinker so may be underestimating how big an ask this is. I feel like I need to address the safety issue urgently, but also the decision to sit with feet up and a hot drink rather than interacting with the kids (again, if it were a couple of times a day it would be different, but it's at least once an hour).

OP’s posts: |
osbertthesyrianhamster Mon 03-May-21 20:17:37

At only 3 weeks? I'd get rid, she's not passed probation.

UrsulaTee Mon 03-May-21 20:17:37

Honestly, I would be looking for a new nanny. Not leaving hot drinks around young children is pretty basic and something anyone with half a brain should know

Thingsthatgo Mon 03-May-21 20:17:45

Maybe suggests she uses a travel mug for her hot drinks. That is what I did when my children were little. It was safer because they don’t spill, and they stay hot for a long time, so I could drink them when I had a spare second, rather than settling down for the whole cup.

4PawsGood Mon 03-May-21 20:17:56

Leaving them in reach and ignoring your child for 10x5-10 minutes seems the actual problem. If she can’t work out that these are a problem then I think she’s not fit to look after children. Maybe a few breaks could be ok while a child is busy playing on their own, but leaving hot drink accessible really isn’t.

hauntedvagina Mon 03-May-21 20:18:03

No hot drinks around children and babies is basic childcare 101. I'd be seriously questioning her credentials and what other risks she's prepared to take.

Karwomannghia Mon 03-May-21 20:18:08

She doesn’t sound great but don’t know the whole picture. Is there a designated high up shelf or something where she could have to put drinks?

Love51 Mon 03-May-21 20:20:02

A travel cup seems to be an easier solution. It depends if you otherwise trust her.

SnuggyBuggy Mon 03-May-21 20:20:15

Any idiot would know not to leave a hot drink near a toddler. I wouldn't be happy with this.

NutellaEllaElla Mon 03-May-21 20:20:43

If she's not attending enough to your child and leaving hazards in harm's way then just fail her probation. Banning cups of tea isn't the right answer.

osbertthesyrianhamster Mon 03-May-21 20:20:47

She's PT and drinking at least 10 cups per shift? C'mon, that's pisstaking shit that would get you the sack at just about any job. You're not paid to sit drinking tea in that job.

user1493494961 Mon 03-May-21 20:21:35

I'd find someone else, she doesn't sound very experienced around young children.

Sparklingbrook Mon 03-May-21 20:22:42


She's PT and drinking at least 10 cups per shift? C'mon, that's pisstaking shit that would get you the sack at just about any job. You're not paid to sit drinking tea in that job.

I agree. 10 cuppas? And this is while you are there. Get rid of her.

SnarkyBag Mon 03-May-21 20:23:13

No one need 10 cups of coffee in a working day (and I’m a prolific coffee drinker). If she’s sitting down to drink them every time and not interacting that’s potentially over an hour and half a day for coffee breaks

I’d give her notice.

underneaththeash Mon 03-May-21 20:23:28

So she's putting them at risk and not engaging with them!

RedcurrantPuff Mon 03-May-21 20:23:51


She's PT and drinking at least 10 cups per shift? C'mon, that's pisstaking shit that would get you the sack at just about any job. You're not paid to sit drinking tea in that job.


Bin her off OP, she sounds shit.

NoSquirrels Mon 03-May-21 20:25:00

I think hot drinks and your feet up ignoring the children you’re paid to interact with - and in the boss’s sight - is the sign of a shit nanny, tbh.

But also, being around so much whilst “settling in” a nanny is a very hard dynamic - are you taking over/not drawing back?The children will keep looking to you whilst you’re available and it’s been 3 weeks so you should be transitioning by now. WFH with a nanny in the house is going to be tough and you need some who will shoo you away confidently!

I’d look for a new nanny and be very clear in your mind about boundaries and how this will work for everyone.

namechangedasouting Mon 03-May-21 20:25:14

I'm glad I'm not totally overreacting. I'm sure it's not been the easiest start for her as DS has been quite difficult - having spent half his life in lockdown with me and DH, he's not adjusting very well to having someone else in the house. And DD is still EBF and also has spent her whole life as a velcro baby with me, so there's not a lot she can do there either. But I had been hoping for some help from the nanny in how to settle them in (she came with loads of experience and great references, so I'm worried it may just be me!)

OP’s posts: |
LolaSmiles Mon 03-May-21 20:25:59

It would be unreasonable to demand she doesn't have any hot drinks. Just say they need to be in a travel cup.
You are not unreasonable to raise any concerns about the quality of her engagement with the children.

feltpens25 Mon 03-May-21 20:26:29

I’m a nanny and I never drink hot drinks at work (I sometimes would at playgroups but they were very tepid). Partly because I don’t have time and partly because of the risk of scalding. I would never have time to drink ten cups during a part time shift!! Ten cups is a crazy amount anyway, is she not constantly in the loo??

Purpleweeks Mon 03-May-21 20:26:34

I think asking her not to have hot drinks, isn't going to solve the main issue which is that she doesn't see the issue with having hot drinks within easy reach of a toddler and lack of interaction with the toddler is also a concern.

CutieBear Mon 03-May-21 20:27:38

How many hours is she there per day to drink 10 hot drinks? She sounds incredibly careless. It’s common sense to keep hot drinks out of reach from young children.

Goblin74 Mon 03-May-21 20:28:51

The first thing that sprung out to me is the 10 cups for a part time... that's an absolute joke. On top of that, she's ignoring your child and leaving her boiling mugs in reach... I'd get rid

osbertthesyrianhamster Mon 03-May-21 20:28:52

You're under reacting. C'mon, at least 10 cups in a PT shift and she's leaving them round the wee ones? I'd have told her not to come back. She's not the right fit for your kids.

Tuesdaysintheazores Mon 03-May-21 20:30:47

I wouldn't keep her on OP it will only get worse

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