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AIBU?

Baby / toddler groups are hell ?

117 replies

sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:21

With lockdown easing I was looking forward to getting to a toddler group with my 2 year old . I must have had rose tinted glasses on as after attending this morning all I can think is that's 40 minutes of my life I won't get back. Reasons I found it dire :

  • trying to keep a toddler fixed to their mat ( covid ) when all they want to do is roam the room.
  • putting a mask on to roam the room to try being them back to their spot but then they can't hear you properly due to muffled mask sounds .
  • no one really talking to anyone( even in between songs ) just singing along to the music like they were really enjoying it when I really didn't find it enjoyable .
  • all the mums doing baby voices


Maybe I'm just not cut out for part time work. I have 3 days off with little one in the week and can't stand the thought of baby groups again. Back to the walks I go.

Anyone else find them hellish?

To top it off due to the timing of the class little one only had 5 minutes nap in the car
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DinosaurDigestive · 28/04/2021 15:29

Definitely not my cup of tea at all! Even before Covid they were a no from me. I have heard of people making friendships etc and support from other mums going there but the thought of all the cliqueness that you hear about put me off too.

As for trying to keep little one contained to a mat no hope that's happening and I can just imagine the up and down up and down on repeat trying to get them back to it!

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:31

Yes @DinosaurDigestive glad it's not just me . I felt so frazzled up and down up and down. They managed the mat for first half but then wanted to wander. Looking back I don't think I was a fan before covid , I had just forgotten how bad they are . Yes very cliquey.

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Owesye · 28/04/2021 15:34

That’s a shame, I found them amazing to make mum friends who I then could meet up with on other days for park visits/picnics/coffees etc and made may leave bearable. All pre covid times! If you’re not the sort of person who needs mum friends then best avoid

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BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 28/04/2021 15:35

I would like a baby/toddler group on a Saturday for working mums who don't generally like baby groups. Where we can berries others with similar age kids for walks/trips out etc but not actually talk about babies the whole time. I know it's what brings us there but we are whole people with hobbies, and careers and other interests and I can only take so much blathering about brands of nappies or who hit which milestone when!

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BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 28/04/2021 15:35

*befriend not berries !

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:35

@Owesye I think I would like mum friends but found the whole thing so cringe and awkward. It's a lonely life just going for walks so maybe I should stick at it .

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EssentialHummus · 28/04/2021 15:36

The mat thing would put me off totally. I think there are different types of groups tbh, and you need to see what works for you and your DC at their particular age/sleep schedule etc. I have an older child (3.5) and haven’t done classes in years but last week in the sunny weather went to a drop in music one which took place in a lovely park, all participants sat on the grass/picnic blankets, kids free to roam around as they wanted, parents happily singing / clapping along to the songs. Children aged 0-5. It was so relaxed and enjoyable I hope DD fancies going again, because I definitely do.

The church hall style ones have their place but it’s for a specific age range really.

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OrangeRug · 28/04/2021 15:36

I despise baby groups. Luckily my Mum takes DD when I'm wt work so I don't have to go.

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:37

@BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda yes I agree. I work 25 hours so still kind of have a career ish. I just fancied talking to people about normal everyday thinks but it was just baby voices all around me plus the covid restrictions made me feel like I was in an episode of the baby club bbc.

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:39

@EssentialHummus the spread out mats was hard going . I'm not sure I enjoy interacting with young children to be honest other than my own.

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cate16 · 28/04/2021 15:39

I never went to any, child seems to have grown up pretty sociable and I have friends...

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Ohpulltheotherone · 28/04/2021 15:39

I found them really hard because of the nap situation. They were either really early so I was rushing to get there on time or they were late morning / lunchtime and knocked out my lunchtime nap routine.

I honestly wouldn’t worry about them, stream the baby club on YouTube kids, sit baby down
On the floor with you and sing along to that.

Take them to soft play when it opens again, nursery for a day if you can afford it.

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:39

@OrangeRug yes I am thinking maybe I should work full time . Partner do part time he would probably enjoy the groups I definitely don't.

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Soubriquet · 28/04/2021 15:41

I look back now and I think I was crazy to drag myself to these groups as I never really spoke to anyone and it was supposed to be the dc’s benefit but they never really benefitted anyway

I mean they enjoyed it don’t get me wrong but they would have easily been just as happy at the park and I wouldn’t have to deal with screaming children indoors.

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ThursdayLastWeek · 28/04/2021 15:43

Pre covid I would say they are what you make of them.

But trying to keep a toddler in one place was a rarely the point of any I went to, and having to wear a mask is a ball ache. It’s so hard to communicate casually in them.

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Ariannah · 28/04/2021 15:45

I tried baby groups, breastfeeding support and play sessions. They were without exception terrible. The other mums ignored me and talked among themselves, the toys tended to be filthy and not in great condition, and they tried to give my DC sugary squash to drink. The only one we attended more than once was the toddler art group, which was a tenner a pop but at least the equipment was good and there was fresh playdough and paint and a variety of art activities.

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SummerHouse · 28/04/2021 15:45

No. This is not good. Try a different one. I went through loads. Then I found my people, who are still my people 10 yrs on through birthdays, get togethers, baby showers and BBQs. No one spoke in a baby voice. In all honesty, the group was about us as mums (occasionally dads) and the children were secondary. We enjoyed it and as an extension, they enjoyed it because we did.

Go now. Find your people!!

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Bert2020 · 28/04/2021 15:46

I actually prefer them, social distancing works well for my antisocial nature. That said it’s worth choosing groups wisely and knowing when to give them a miss. I go to classes rather than groups as I can’t do small talk so prefer an activity.

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:46

@Ohpulltheotherone yes group was 1220. Usually he has lunch 12 ish and nap 1. He ended up having a quick 5 minute nap on the way and then wouldn't nap after . Currently pregnant too so really wanted that little rest.

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:48

@Ariannah yes we have done baby massage , baby yoga , breastfeeding support groups, dance , church hall all been dire not sure why I thought they would be any different now 🤣

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:49

@SummerHouse thanks for the glimmer of hope ! It doesn't help that I have only lived in my local area 3 years and have an accent people ask me about. Often making me feel self conscious asking reasons why I moved here meanwhile they are all chatting as grown up together same school college etc

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sausagedogg · 28/04/2021 15:49

@Bert2020 I will see what classes are going thank you

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Flappityflippers1 · 28/04/2021 15:50

I haaaaaaaaaaaate baby groups with a burning unholy passion for all the reasons you’ve said!

Hated them pre Covid, and won’t be going to any now they’re opening back up

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Cannotgarden · 28/04/2021 15:51

Yes go for an activity one rather than a general one. The general groups round my way are all church affiliated (but they dont advertise this) and there's an odd tone to them like you must convert or leave.

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Maggiesfarm · 28/04/2021 15:53

I would have hated it. There were no baby and toddler groups around my way when my children were infants and I am glad. We had play group for a couple of hours, two mornings a week which didn't involve me having to sit with a load of other parents.

The one positive thing I can take from the opening post is that the baby group lasted only forty minutes.

I feel your pain!

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