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AIBU?

Neighbours daughter...

109 replies

Francescaisstressed · 23/04/2021 10:53

Last summer was horrific. We are in a middle terrace house. The one side is lovely, recently had a newborn baby. The other side is also lovely, apart from their young daughter.
Last summer when she came back home from uni, it was non stop parties, loud music, screeching and hot tub. I think she's 18 or so. The last few months have been blissfully quiet, but she's just returned home again today.
The music has already started, they re decorating the garden for a party and a bunch of cars are already outside.
Both my partner and I work from home - they know this.
The music is so loud I can hear it over noise cancelling headphones I bought last summer because of this.
Last summer, I knocked the door one day after the 4th day of loud music. They have a ring doorbell and I was ignored.
What do I do? I'm terrified of going the more formal route because i don't want to cause an issue, and also hoping that in the next year or two we can move.
But I just struggle in the house with it so badly. I can't enjoy my garden at all because of the behaviour, literally never used it in the summer and starting to dread the nice weather.
But I wouldn't mind so much if it was a weekend thing, it's the work days at 10.30 in the morning that kill me off.
what should I do?
YABU - try and ignore it and just move
YANBU - report and or write letter etc to them

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Am I being unreasonable?

1377 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
8%
You are NOT being unreasonable
92%
ChunkyButFunky87 · 23/04/2021 11:08

Knock on again - tell them you're in an online meeting and it can be heard.

If they ignore you, put a note through "I did try and knock on to speak to you but I presume it wasn't heard over the music"

If still going tonight, police

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pilates · 23/04/2021 11:11

I would try and catch the parents and have a chat with them

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3JsMa · 23/04/2021 11:16

That's ridiculous and clearly anti-social.Also a breach of current lockdown guidance.I have similar neighbours,although it involves whole family and their visitors,they are massively inconsiderate.
First option-speak to her parents.Are they aware?
2nd -noise nuisance,ASB team at your local council,keep log book with times/days etc.
3rd call 101 if nothing else helps.

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Tiktokersmiracle · 23/04/2021 11:20

If they're going to ignore you, and it goes on past 11pm, you should call the police.
We had students living next door when we first moved in, they were wankers. I tried the nice route by speaking to them. Then I put a note through. One night it was so loud, the bass was making things shake in my house. DS has health issues so it was just vile for him, he hates loud noise due to Aspergers so he was constantly crying. Couldn't sleep in the day either as they just constantly had noise. One night I went and banged on the door, at 1am. They looked through their downstairs window, laughed, stuck their fingers up then carried on. I nearly broke their door down I was so angry and tired.
I called Police after 2 months of it. They came out, probably because I was in tears, saying I literally couldn't take any more of it, the neighbors on the other side had also called that night too.
Police say outside for a bit. You could hear the noise as soon as you turned into our road. They then knocked and no one answered. They banged and shouted "Police, open up, now". They didn't. So the police kicked the door open-it didn't take much so must have been a crap lock. I heard the music go off. One was taken outside and arrested due to drugs being found. The rest were given a warning.
The landlord chucked them out two days later.
It's awful, other people's noise.

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Francescaisstressed · 23/04/2021 11:31

I find it really difficult to know if I'm being unreasonable as I'm super sensitive to noise and my partner just blocks out it out naturally, although he admits that they take it too far alot of the time and its constant.

It's only the mother in the house. She has a partner but he's new. I have mentioned it to the mum but she says 'teenagers' and apologises but it happens again and again.

The son is very quiet and when the daughter isn't there there are no issues.i find the mum seems to join in aswell, so when the daughter has her freinds over so does the mum.

Having it start up again just makes me anxious.

I thought if I started a process with the council and it was unresolved you gave to notify when selling the house?

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Lollypop4 · 23/04/2021 11:39

We have awful neighbours one side, loud music ect being just one issue .
Call your local EHO office, they will send a letter out.
Failing that working, call 101.

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skirk64 · 23/04/2021 11:44

Yes, you have to inform potential buyers of anything that could put them off purchasing it, like noise. Legally you have to inform them even if you haven't complained, however a complaint puts it in black and white and can be used in evidence against you if you don't tell them. The days of "sold as seen" have been over for a while now.

It's shit and I'm in a similar position to you (the difference with me is that my neighbour's home is social housing, so it attracts a string of tenants who have no respect for their neighbours). I know I can't complain, I just have to wait until I can afford to move, and hope for the best.

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littlepattilou · 23/04/2021 11:48

Defo speak to her about it first.

It's crazy to move without even trying to sort it first.

Also, the lass is uni age, so this probably won't last for long ... She will leave soon (hopefully!)

All the best! :)

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Ohdoleavemealone · 23/04/2021 12:01

Easy. Presumably if both mum and daughter have friends over, this is a breach of lockdown rules. Ring the police!

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wingsnthat · 23/04/2021 12:04

Lol the police do not care. They have actual emergencies to attend to. You’ll be directed to an online form.

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Roselilly36 · 23/04/2021 12:08

What have her parents said about it. I would speak to them, if it doesn’t change, contact the council.

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wingsnthat · 23/04/2021 12:10

To be completely frank, I wouldn’t mind if this was my neighbour after the year we just had. I can see both sides of this as I’m 23 so can relate to wanting to have a house party with my friends, but I also work from home and have noisy neighbours. Everyone’s mental health is struggling and I can imagine it’s tough on both sides - not just yours.

Just ask them to keep the noise down until the afternoon. Compromise would be best to maintain neighbourly relations long term. Else you’ll be posting here next month because there’s a tit-for-tat feud ongoing

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Francescaisstressed · 23/04/2021 12:11

The noise isn't the only reason to move. We bought this house a stepping stone to a forever home, and have been lucky enough to save quite a bit the last few years so we are hoping to do that, but we were going to hold off a bit and save more. This just makes me want to get it over with.


Your right about she will grow out of it, but then though I imagine we'll be dealing with her younger brother.

I think I'm going to try and speak to the mum again and explain how much its impacting me. Without going too much into it my work is quite sensitive and I need to ring people and it's really off-putting.

Thanks for you advice. I think with my anxiety I struggle to put my point across, but will give it a ago!

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peachescariad · 23/04/2021 12:12

You can contact noise pollution dept of Environmental Health who will usually send a letter saying there has been a complaint of loud music etc. EH will not disclose who has raised the complaint. However, EH will ask you to complete a 2 week diary. Once the diary sheets have been returned, they will look to see if there has been unsociable noise entries (heard in your property after 11pm). They may decide to follow up with installing noise monitoring equipment and this can lead to a prosecution.

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notalwaysalondoner · 23/04/2021 12:15

So to get this straight - this has been a problem all last summer, and all you've tried to do about it is knock on the door, once, which wasn't answered?

I certainly don't think it's fair to report them if this is the case - you have to at least give them (both the daughter and parents) the chance to change. Keep knocking/ringing until someone answers - pick a time where she isn't playing music e.g. 10am. Explain clearly what you are asking of them e.g. music kept to a level you couldn't hear it through a closed window/music only played after 5pm until 1030pm... then see how they respond. It's perfectly reasonable to request this. If nothing changes, then report.

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CaraherEIL · 23/04/2021 12:21

If you are intending to move in the next year do nothing official, you would shoot yourself in the foot and you legally have to disclose you have made a noise complaint about the neighbours and you will lose your sale, Most buyers will walk from an ongoing problem. I think drop a note through their door asking if the mum will pop round for a garden chat. Try and just outline abit of a schedule with her and see if you can come to a workable agreement. I am unaware that loud music is still really annoying anytime but if the mum feels you want to compromise in part it will be more helpful. Otherwise you are going to have a nightmare summer, do it now before it has been weeks and weeks and you feel really worked up if you do it when you are calmer the conversation will go better.

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BloodyTinaNextdoorAgain · 23/04/2021 12:22

Honestly if it keeps happening after you've mentioned it already it's unlikely to change if you speak to them again.
We have similar neighbours. Their four annoyingly loud children became annoyingly loud teenagers. One has finally moved out but only after the addition of a baby (now a toddler) that the remaining teens like to wind up and make her shriek.
I haven't used my garden in nearly three years because the second the rain stops there's at least one of them next door outside having shouty phone calls for several hours at a time, listening to loud music or yelling at the people inside. The teens fight and cry every few days, guaranteed to happen on a Friday when I finish work and want some peace and quiet.
I tried to be reasonable because I know they should be allowed to enjoy their garden and make noise but the volume from morning to night is exhausting to me.
I asked politely for the volume to be turned down once, after a very load morning, explained I'm wfh now, even said what time my main meetings were and requested some quite hours. I got a reply to say they didn't think they were loud but they'd tell the kids. Things went back to normal the next day, pointless. They know, they just don't care.
So I just gave up and stayed in with windows shut.
I can't wait to move and just be able to sit in my own garden.

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Whereisthewarmth · 23/04/2021 12:26

op its so so awful isnt it, my garden is my mental salvation and sanctuary, I/ve spent a lot of ££ on garden! Time and emotions to....

Speak again and be nice - be reasonable...say its so hard, we all love music, can they use headphones? Do it once a week or something? Otherwise op, I am afaid its time to crank it up esp in morning after party...

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viques · 23/04/2021 12:29

My neighbours used to do loud Sunday afternoon karaoke. Every Sunday afternoon.

I called the local council who sent a nice young man round , he sat in my house and noted down the songs for about an hour. Then the council sent them a letter warning them that if it happened again the consequences would be their sound equipment being removed.

Blissful silence from that moment on. I heart my local council.

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sunflowerfunflower · 23/04/2021 12:33

I'd move sooner. It's pointless. We have some people on our terrace like this. They have play trance music really loud, they aren't next door so luckily I can't hear in indoors, but I'd say 40 houses can hear it all day if in their gardens, as we are packed in. I'm sure they can hear me playing with my kids and talking too. It's hard as they might find that annoying. I don't like the music, but I can deal with it. Still think it's way too loud and inconsiderate.

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Whereisthewarmth · 23/04/2021 12:36

We ALL have a right to enjoy our gardens without constant fear of noise, I love parties, infact I really enjoy hearing parties every now and then for special occasions, with marquee and DJ and that lovely chatter, even a few teen parties I do not mind, nor light garden music for a few hours here and there, what I object too is every day music that means I cannot concentrate or enjoy what I am doing....

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Gottalovesummer · 23/04/2021 12:38

You have my sympathies. We had this with one set of neighbour's (now gone thank goodness)

Constant loud music till the early hours.

I didn't want to go down the official route as we are also planning to move.

I tried asking them nicely to turn the music down by a reasonable time but they ignored! And their house became the party house with people arriving at all hours of the night and shouting etc

They kept us all awake. My children couldn't sleep etc

So I went down the petty route.

We are terraced. So the morning after EVERY party when they were hungover/sleeping it off I would put on nursery rhymes.. put the speaker against the shared walls and turn the volume up as loud as I could.

It must have been really annoying but by that stage they had been anti social neighbours for months so I didn't care.

They moved out eventually and the house was bought by a lovely family who keep the same hours as us.

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Whereisthewarmth · 23/04/2021 12:38

viques Fri 23-Apr-21 12:29:33

wow where are you! They seem to be more on this in London? NOw they are really packing people into houses with all these new builds we do need sricter laws esp as its so easy now to access music - which I love - via personal methods that dont infringe on others

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ILoveShula · 23/04/2021 12:48

Look up ASB on local council web site.

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Francescaisstressed · 23/04/2021 12:49

Sorry, I probably wasn't clear.
I have tried to talk to the daughter about it when it's happening but she doesn't answer the door.
I have spoken to the mum about it, but it's never as its happening and she brushes it off. She's pretty inconsiderate too.

Thanks for the advice

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