AIBU - Friends relationship revelation.

(246 Posts)
BlooShoos Sun 18-Apr-21 20:24:03

To put this into context, a very close friend of mine has just told our group (five of us, friends since college) that her partner of about 2 years has been to prison, and that he served 8 years of a 13 year sentence with 5 years on license.
The partner... lets call him Rob, looks at my friend like a kid looks at cake, he absolutely adores her, he provides for her and her son, (she works too, but 'Rob' likes the breadwinner role) he seems to be all legit, and they are an absolutely solid couple.
Now, 'Rob' going to prison, in essence isn't the issue. What is the issue is that Lucie (not her real name) used to be a high ranking prison officer. And it turns out that Rob used to be on her Unit. Lucie swears blind that nothing happened while she was working in the prison, she was still with her ex, and her and Rob met after he;d been released and Lucie had left the prison service, they moved in together last year at the beginning of lockdown. I believe her, but a couple of others in our group don't and think it's a massively inappropriate and are threatening to make a big noise about Lucie and Rob. I believe his crime was quite violent, but an unfortunate one - a single, drunken punch. And as I've said, he has always seemed a really good guy, but as nice as he seems to be, with Lucie's past employment and his criminal history, AIBU to think this is all a bit odd?

OP’s posts: |
Returnoftheowl Sun 18-Apr-21 20:28:43

It all sounds a bit too coincidental... But if she's left the prison service that is probably the end of it.

AgentJohnson Sun 18-Apr-21 20:30:24

13 years for a drunken punch, hmm something doesn’t add up.

coodawoodashooda Sun 18-Apr-21 20:31:40

Mind your business.

BlooShoos Sun 18-Apr-21 20:34:06

@AgentJohnson the outcome of the drunken punch was the victim his his head on a concrete curb stone.... I'm sure you can add the rest up.

OP’s posts: |
denverRegina Sun 18-Apr-21 20:35:41

What was her rank and when and how did she leave HMPS?

HerMammy Sun 18-Apr-21 20:37:43

None of your business. Sadly people
make mistakes but should everyone have it held against them and judged forever?
What if it was your DC?, people change they learn from their mistakes, he’s served a sentence and is still on licence, leave them be.

EllaPaella Sun 18-Apr-21 20:41:08

I agree with PP. He's done his time for whatever he did - maybe as her friends you could just allow him to live his life now without judgement? If you can't do that then you will need to reassess whether you can stay friends with the couple. That's on you.
As to whether they got together while he was in prison I really don't see what it has to do with you? Your friend says they didn't so why would you go looking to make trouble for her? If she says they didn't then it doesn't concern you whatsoever. Keep out of it.

BlooShoos Sun 18-Apr-21 20:41:11

I believe she was a Custody Manager (or something similar) she left after maternity leave, which must be about six years ago now. There was no cloud or anything like that. She moved into what she is doing now (entirely unrelated) and has been doing that ever since. I remember her meeting 'Rob' and at the time she described him as someone who she'd sort of known a long time ago. From what I understand, even though he was on her unit, she didnt have a lot to do with him

OP’s posts: |
HerMammy Sun 18-Apr-21 20:42:29

With ‘friends’ like you lot Lucie doesn’t need enemies!
You sound a right nasty bunch, looking to cause trouble for your ‘friend’

CrazyNeighbour Sun 18-Apr-21 20:43:24

But even if the others kick up a fuss, what could happen?

Hoppinggreen Sun 18-Apr-21 20:43:47

Well I don’t believe her and I doubt Rob did that long for a drunken punch
BUT if it doesn’t affect you does it matter? The people “threatening to make a big noise” (whatever that means) sound like Dicks

BlooShoos Sun 18-Apr-21 20:44:47

The more I talk about it, the more "on her side" I am. I like him, he's a nice guy and as per my post, I love how he is with her and her son, anyone would think he was his own, he's an amazing stepdad to a little boy who now no longer has one. I guess I want to have a bit of back up with the friends in our group who seem to want to treat her and him like Leppers.

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Sun 18-Apr-21 20:45:58

Bloody hell what a nasty bunch of judgemental gossips poor lucie has as friends.

With friends like this who needs enemies.

She’s left thr job, but even if she hadn’t, imagining stuff and wanting to report her, what a horrible bunch.

user1493494961 Sun 18-Apr-21 20:47:58

Hope 'Lucie' isn't on Mumsnet.

Sciurus83 Sun 18-Apr-21 20:48:40

This sounds like a plot off Bad Girls!

Shoxfordian Sun 18-Apr-21 20:49:40

Take a step back from the people who are so keen to judge her

nancy75 Sun 18-Apr-21 20:50:23


*@AgentJohnson* the outcome of the drunken punch was the victim his his head on a concrete curb stone.... I'm sure you can add the rest up.

My cousin was killed by a ‘single drunken punch’ his killer got 5 & 1/2 yrs & served 2 & 1/2 years.
Your mate’s partner didn’t get 13 years for that

DuchessOfBuggerAll Sun 18-Apr-21 20:51:19

What the hell does 'threatening to make a big noise' mean? Who even speaks like that?
Did you ask at the time what they meant by that?

Thelastwalker Sun 18-Apr-21 20:51:47

@user1493494961 I totally agree . This is so outing for your friend OP .

Hankunamatata Sun 18-Apr-21 20:51:51

Lucie was stupid for saying anything. I would have kept my mouth shut. Woth friends like that you dont need enemies.

Winter2020 Sun 18-Apr-21 20:51:52

They are grown ups and were grown ups when they got together. As “Lucie” no longer works in the prison service what does it even matter.

Poorpigletsrevenge Sun 18-Apr-21 20:53:26

This post is massively identifiable if you’ve given the correct details.

denverRegina Sun 18-Apr-21 20:54:07

"Bloody hell what a nasty bunch of judgemental gossips poor lucie has as friends"

Clearly never stepped foot in a jail. A CM that was involved with a violent con prior to her maternity leave will have caused unknown risk and harm within the prison system.

Judgemental and nasty? "Poor Lucie" confused

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Sun 18-Apr-21 20:54:33


13 years for a drunken punch, hmm something doesn’t add up.

He may have killed the person he punched. This happened to a guy local to us. He's serving quite a long sentence.
Got in a fight with another guy on a night out, threw a punch, caught him on a certain bit on the head and the guy died.

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