To let my dog bark for an extra half hour even though the neighbour was already annoyed

(485 Posts)
Candlestand Sat 17-Apr-21 06:16:04

I have 2 dogs, DH usually takes them to work so Mon-Fri they're never here during the day. Due to a bit of excess faffing yesterday morning he forgot them. Normally he puts them in the dog box in the car and sorts out DD and they all head off to nursery then work but somehow yesterday he just forgot he hadn't already put them in the car and I got a text from DH to tell me the dogs were still in the garden. Fine. I'm up in my office, WFH, the back door is open as it was such a nice day, they can mooch in and out as they please and we'll just walk them tonight instead.
I work for the local authority and we've had a nasty incident occur with a safeguarding issue for a child and I was part of back to back meetings so I never even went down for a cup of tea. I'm then in a meeting that I have been volunteered as minute taker for and there are over 20 people in this meeting and that's when my neighbour starts banging on my door. Initially I ignore him thinking it's a delivery and I can't leave this meeting but he is now practically pounding my door down so I race to the other room to open the window to ask them to go away whatever it is and he starts swearing that the dogs are barking and its really annoying. I shout down that I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting and I will sort them out as soon as I'm out of it. I can see he's furious and he storms off still swearing but the meeting is still going on without me and I have to be in it. I'm now vaguely aware that my younger dog is barking because it's been brought to my attention but honestly I just hadn't noticed before because it had been such a busy morning so I don't know how long they had been barking for. I didn't want to disrupt the meeting by asking for a break because there was a lot going on in it and we were, I hoped, almost finished but it turned out we were still going half an hour later before the meeting actually finished and because I'm now aware of it I can hear the dog still barking on and off for that time.
The thing is, we have a big garden and they don't come in when called straight away because it becomes a game to them so although me being out in the garden with them stopped the barking it takes me over 5 minutes to get them to come into the house (which I knew it would and why I didn't want to stop in the middle of a very large meeting to chase around my garden for ages). I appreciate it must have been annoying and I could see my neighbours over our fence so when I could go get them I apologised properly and tried to explain that I couldn't leave the meeting to come and get them and they were furious with me and said I was ruining their day. They are retired and are always in their garden. My dog was actually barking at their dog who was sat with them and my little dog could smell him, the older one wasn't actually barking. I tried to explain that he was just excited by their dog and if they had taken their dog in, he would have stopped barking but this just made them angrier (I meant it to try and break the tension as a discussion rather than a criticism of them, though clearly I misjudged how to say that) as they said why shouldn't their dog be allowed outside when he's being well behaved. I apologised again and just got back to chasing the dogs into the house and went back to work.

I appreciate it was annoying but I'm not sure they needed to be quite so angry. It was the middle of the day, this never normally happens at all because the dogs are not here during the week and at the weekend we're both able to be much more atuned to them if one of them starts barking at another dog or a squirrel or something and it has never been an issue before. We live rurally so other than the house on the other side of our neighbours theres no one else to be upset by the barking.
WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

OP’s posts: |
purplewolfie Sat 17-Apr-21 06:24:00

I think you just handled it badly from start to finish. I think you know that too. Maybe just make a better apology of it when you can?

Sirzy Sat 17-Apr-21 06:25:14

So because you can’t be bothered looking after your animists they should have stopped their dog going in the garden with them?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Sat 17-Apr-21 06:25:19

Your dogs need better training. I understand it was difficult but you can't visit your problems on other people. What if they were in a very important meeting from their kitchen and your dogs were disrupting that?

SavingsQuestions Sat 17-Apr-21 06:26:58


Creepygnochi Sat 17-Apr-21 06:28:02

Your dog sounds feral. Get a trainer.

Frankie4me Sat 17-Apr-21 06:28:28

You were being very unreasonable - do you know how annoying it is to be hearing a dog bark for half an hour or more, knowing that the owner is there and doing absolutely nothing to stop it? You need to train your dogs better so you can get their attention and quiet them down quickly. I’d be furious with you.

Candlestand Sat 17-Apr-21 06:29:18

@Sirzy That's unfair. It wasn't at all that I couldn't be bothered, I could not leave that meeting. It's not a choice to work, I have to work and its not my choice to work from home.

OP’s posts: |
Cuntryhouse Sat 17-Apr-21 06:29:25

It's all me, me, me, isn't it? Dogs bark round here constantly. Already had a bout before 6am. Really selfish, and surely you're supposed to be actually looking after the dogs too and not just leaving them?

stunnningandbrave Sat 17-Apr-21 06:30:40

Yep, this ones on you. Keep the dogs in the house if you can't supervise them in the garden.

Crayfishforyou Sat 17-Apr-21 06:31:13

So your dog couldn’t behave and you suggested the other dog be taken indoors?
Train your dog better!

Creepygnochi Sat 17-Apr-21 06:31:16

If your work prevents you from providing adequate care to your pets, don't have them. It's not fair on them or anybody else who has to deal with the consequences of your irresponsibility.

Mollymalone123 Sat 17-Apr-21 06:31:43

I put yanbu just this once as it all went horribly wrong for u and it was probably a one off-but u obviously now know your dogs need training to come indoors on your command. I would send a note next door with a bottle of wine as an apology- leave it on the door step.

beginningoftheend Sat 17-Apr-21 06:32:33

I think they're worried it'll be every day. My heart sank when some new neighbours had a lot of yapping going on, it was just the one day though, now it is very sporadic.

You handled it badly I think, although they were very fast to knock.

romdowa Sat 17-Apr-21 06:33:13

Dogs barking in the middle of the day is hardly a cardinal offence. Some people just have no tolerance.

FoolsAssassin Sat 17-Apr-21 06:34:52

You handled that really badly from beginning to end and I would be very pissed off with you if I were your neighbour.

Onlinedilema Sat 17-Apr-21 06:36:13

This would drive me up the wall.
Your work schedule is not their problem.
Telling them to make their well behaved dog go inside is insane.

Candlestand Sat 17-Apr-21 06:36:24

@Creepygnochi I don't normally have them. They're never normally here during the day when I'm working.
Fine to say I'm being unreasonable, I've apologised, what more can I do? (Genuine question)
But to say I shouldn't have dogs or my dogs are ferral is unfair. He's only just over a year old and has found his voice since we moved here from a much smaller garden because there's lots of exciting things to bark at and they like to play chase in the garden because that's what we normally do. It's never normally a problem and yesterday was the first day it has ever been an issue. He stopped barking as soon as I went in the garden so I can stop him barking by being with him but I can't be with him in the garden and be in work.

OP’s posts: |
M0nstermunch Sat 17-Apr-21 06:36:33

I can see both sides but you did what could you could do at that time. They knew you would be down to see to the dog when you could.

Our dog doesn't bark in the garden but next doors dog does when ours is out there, their dog always gets taken in then so I do feel a bit sorry for it, its only wanting to play. Does sound like you need to work on getting your dogs to come in though but sure you know that.

Maybe take a bottle of wine round and explain/apologise again.

ShirleyPhallus Sat 17-Apr-21 06:36:40


You were being very unreasonable - do you know how annoying it is to be hearing a dog bark for half an hour or more, knowing that the owner is there and doing absolutely nothing to stop it? You need to train your dogs better so you can get their attention and quiet them down quickly. I’d be furious with you.

Yep, I’d wonder if my neighbour was dead in this situation

Very long winded OP there too !

rawlikesushi Sat 17-Apr-21 06:36:53

I don't think you should've left the door open so that they could mooch in and out of the garden if you thought this could happen.

I think you should have made sure your dogs were settled before starting the meetings.

I think that if it was ok to leave the meetings to go into another room, open a window and have a conversation with your neighbour, it would have been equally ok to leave the meeting to fetch the dogs in.

And, after handling it all quite badly and being completely at fault, you made it worse by telling them that they should have put their own (well behaved) dog inside.

If it was me I'd be going round to apologise properly and explain.

Having said that - if this has never happened before then I do think that your neighbour could have been nicer when complaining.

SarahBellam Sat 17-Apr-21 06:36:56

Completely unreasonable. The reason doesn’t matter. That’s nobody else’s concern but your own. You should have had your animals under control before you started work. On a separate note, you can record and get a transcript of Teams meetings now so that might be useful in the future.

VladimirCutiePutiPie Sat 17-Apr-21 06:37:44

YABU to have two pets and not look after them.

Clymene Sat 17-Apr-21 06:40:06

Your dogs are poorly trained and you're very Inconsiderate.

LakieLady Sat 17-Apr-21 06:40:23

I don't see what else you could have done OP, tbh. It's clear that this was exceptional, as the dogs are normally out with your DH during the day, and you were in an important meeting that you couldn't leave.

It's one of the problems you get when you work from home. I've had to leave a meeting to answer the door a couple of times, both times for deliveries for a neighbour who had a delivery but had gone out. But I couldn't leave it in case someone had crashed into my car or something.

I'd pop round and see the neighbours and explain, apologise and if the dogs are at home again, make sure they're shut in before you start any meetings.

The barky dog does sound naughty though, not coming in when it's called. But not as naughty as a dog near me who's let out and barks for 10-15 minutes soon after 6am every day (which is why I'm up and about) or another one which cries when left.

I had two dogs, one was very barky and the other would join in, so I know how difficult it is.

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