To think DH should agree to alter hotel room?

(152 Posts)
ObvNC Fri 16-Apr-21 13:03:21

DH works 4 hours away from home in our family business.

I'll only nip down once a fortnight nowadays because of covid restrictions,

He always checks into the same room, bit of a creature of habit grin, but was once put in a different room which I prefer because it has a bath.

The bath is lovely as we get a little bit romantic in this room - 3 nocturnal teenagers at home for a year has had a large impact on our Quality Time together, and a luxury bath adds to the ambience.

The room is exactly the same, maybe 10 yards further down the corridor. No other difference at all. Same view, same floor space, same orientation (these things matter to him hmm)

AIBU to think he should be happy to change to this room and not be ruled by his resistance to change?

First World problems I know there's other far more pressing issues I'm well aware, Colin the caterpillar etc etv

OP’s posts: |
FineWordsForAPorcupine Fri 16-Apr-21 13:11:03

When you tell him what you just told us - the bath, the quality time, the privacy, the advantages of having this room when you come to stay - what does he say?

UserTwice Fri 16-Apr-21 13:12:29

I think the preferences of the person who stays there most of the time outweigh those of the person who nips down occasionally.
(I'm assuming he doesn't see the things you see as benefits, as benefits)

emilyfrost Fri 16-Apr-21 13:12:50

Is the only difference in this room the bath? Because most men aren’t going to thinking a bath “adds to the ambience”, and he’s the one going to be staying there.

You can still be romantic in a room without a bath. YABU.

ObvNC Fri 16-Apr-21 13:15:36

FineWordsForAPorcupine

When you tell him what you just told us - the bath, the quality time, the privacy, the advantages of having this room when you come to stay - what does he say?


That he content with the room he's been allocated. hmm

OP’s posts: |
ObvNC Fri 16-Apr-21 13:16:10

UserTwice

I think the preferences of the person who stays there most of the time outweigh those of the person who nips down occasionally.
(I'm assuming he doesn't see the things you see as benefits, as benefits)


Well he was happy sharing the bath with me That One Time wink

OP’s posts: |
RedHelenB Fri 16-Apr-21 13:16:19

If he likes to have the same room yabu as you only stay occasionally.

LittleOwl153 Fri 16-Apr-21 13:17:58

Do you need to stay? I'd probably not bother as he doesn't seem that bothered for you to be there! Or get your own room!!

ObvNC Fri 16-Apr-21 13:19:35

Yes I need to stay. It's an 8 hour round trip!

OP’s posts: |
GoToSleepBabyPlease Fri 16-Apr-21 13:19:41

Does the bath mean there's no shower?

Alwaysandforeverhere Fri 16-Apr-21 13:21:52

I mean suck it up op. You want to change rooms for a bath when you pop in now and again so you can have bath sex in a hotel... it’s not romantic anyway you think about it really. It’s bath sex in a bath 100’s have used before you

pinkyredrose Fri 16-Apr-21 13:23:03

He sounds boring. Of course he should change to the other room, you're his wife ffs, i would've thought the chance of a joint bath would mean he'd jump at the chance to book the new room.

ObvNC Fri 16-Apr-21 13:25:18

Shower AND a bath!

Holiday Inn luxury shockgrin

OP’s posts: |
FineWordsForAPorcupine Fri 16-Apr-21 13:26:35

You've asked him to switch rooms, clearly laid out your reasons, and he has declined.

Unfortunately, whether that's "reasonable" of him, whether he "should" change his mind, or whether you are technically in the right doesn't really matter - we can all tell you resoundingly that your husband is WRONG and you are RIGHT, but that won't actually do anything.

If this is part of a wider pattern of inflexibility, needing things to be exactly the same every time, or lack of intimacy in the marriage, then you might need to think about addressing that, but as it stands:

You have asked your husband to do a small thing to increase your happiness and the amount of sex you have with each other, and he has declined, either because his dislike of change trumps everything else, or for some other reason he doesn't want to disclose. You now need to decide what to do with that info.

ObvNC Fri 16-Apr-21 13:26:43

Alwaysandforeverhere

I mean suck it up op. You want to change rooms for a bath when you pop in now and again so you can have bath sex in a hotel... it’s not romantic anyway you think about it really. It’s bath sex in a bath 100’s have used before you


It's emptied after each use, yunno?

It's not a chlamydia pond Hot Tub

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Fri 16-Apr-21 13:28:50

He can't do this one little thing to make you happy? Really? I would not be impressed, at all.

Alwaysandforeverhere Fri 16-Apr-21 13:30:54

It’s a bath they are gross anyway regardless of it being emptied and “cleaned”. Just swishing around in your dead skin cells and sweat.

Mumdiva99 Fri 16-Apr-21 13:32:11

I used to travel a lot for work and once stayed about 3 months in one hotel. I wanted the same room every time. Why? Because we are creatures of habit. Because I liked it. Because it worked for me. Once you start telling reception you want to change rooms they will stop allocating you the preferred room thinking you don't want it. Leave him be in his shower only room.

Aprilshowersandhail Fri 16-Apr-21 13:34:42

If my dh was on a promise if there was a bath he would bring one along..
Yanbu to expect some effort... Effort being a small chat with a receptionist.
Maybe take some man - proof tied tight at the waist pj's next time. Suggest bedtime fun be chatting about the other amazing room..

fluffiphlox Fri 16-Apr-21 13:37:07

In normal times, I stay in hotels on business. Occasionally my husband comes with me. I’d be a bit narked if he told me what room I should book to suit his libido.

Kaptain Fri 16-Apr-21 13:37:14

Maybe he didn't enjoy sharing the bath as much as you think he did?

I mean, I'm sure he enjoyed the Quality Time, but not the actual bath?

LavendulaAngustifolia Fri 16-Apr-21 13:37:26

Does he know he's on a promise if he gets the room with the bath or is he just not bothered?

HelpMeh Fri 16-Apr-21 13:37:53

He does sound a bit rigid... My DH would be the one pushing for the room with the bath. Personally I hate sharing baths and showers.

JustAnotherOldMan Fri 16-Apr-21 13:40:57

Depends really, if it’s because YOU prefer having sex in the bath rather then the bed, then yeah, maybe as your saying what you want is more important than your other half’s room preference?.

Frankie4me Fri 16-Apr-21 13:41:17

Being away from home is hard - having the same room can make it feel like ‘his’ - he knows what works for him, can put his stuff in the same spot etc. He has a sense of ownership over it. To you it’s no different but for the bath. To him, it’s uprooting again.

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