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AIBU?

Would you trust someone with these convictions?

228 replies

goodbyeyellowbrick · 15/04/2021 14:17

Would you trust a female who at age 17 got these two convictions -

  • breach of the peace domestic
  • assault to injury domestic


And then at 19 got these two convictions -

  • communications act domestic
  • drink driving


Would you trust her? She is 30 now and has had no issues with the law since and has seemed to turn her life around. Would you still think she was the same person though inherently?
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AryaStarkWolf · 15/04/2021 14:19

If the last time she was in trouble was when she was 19 then yes I would say she's probably grown up

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AmyLou100 · 15/04/2021 14:21

People can change but for me it would depend on what you need her to do? Childcare or any care role - absolute No.

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FireflyRainbow · 15/04/2021 14:21

I wouldn't trust her given the choice.

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MolyHolyGuacamole · 15/04/2021 14:22

Yes I would. Teenager's brains are still developing

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osbertthesyrianhamster · 15/04/2021 14:22

No

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AOwlAOwlAOwl · 15/04/2021 14:23

Breach of the peace isn't something you can be convicted for. Do you mean a public order offence? Neither is assault to injury. Do you mean common assault? GBH? ABH?

Aside from you being very vague about the actual convictions I think enough time has passed to say that these are not relevant on a personal level. Jobs are a different matter potentially.

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skeggycaggy · 15/04/2021 14:23

Yes.

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goodbyeyellowbrick · 15/04/2021 14:23

@AOwlAOwlAOwl they are in Scotland.

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AnnaFiveTowns · 15/04/2021 14:24

Yes. She was 19. She's now 30 and has no further convictions. We all do stupid things when we're young.

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Love2cycle · 15/04/2021 14:24

I would as what she's done to make the changes in her life. How long has she been sober for etc?

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Lou98 · 15/04/2021 14:26

I wouldn't base whether I would trust them or not on their convictions. There's always a story behind them and the last was 11 years ago.

I would get to know her now and decide on that, not mistakes she made in her past

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goodbyeyellowbrick · 15/04/2021 14:26

Should add she has had her licence back for 8 years and a car for the past 4 with no issues

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VettiyaIruken · 15/04/2021 14:26

It's impossible to say imo. That isn't enough information. The background matters, not just the conviction.

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LolaNova · 15/04/2021 14:27

I probably wouldn’t hire her as a nanny or other caring role unless I knew the circumstances of the convictions and felt assured that there were justifiable reasons at the time that had since been resolved. But otherwise I would tend to be trusting.

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goodbyeyellowbrick · 15/04/2021 14:27

She was in a toxic relationship, they both would hit each other and every conviction alcohol was involved. She is obviously no longer with him and he had no further toxic relationships.

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Natty13 · 15/04/2021 14:28

Plenty people had rough childhoods/early adult years and turn their lives around. People deserve benefit of the doubt and the chance to move on.

Loads of youth workers for charities helping young kids get away from gangs and knife crime have convictions from their younger days themselves. They have chosen to dedicate their lives to helping children but would you not trust them for decade old convictions?

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AryaStarkWolf · 15/04/2021 14:29

@goodbyeyellowbrick

She was in a toxic relationship, they both would hit each other and every conviction alcohol was involved. She is obviously no longer with him and he had no further toxic relationships.

Plus they weren't much more than kids, 19 is so young really
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ddl1 · 15/04/2021 14:30

In general, I would think that they were a reformed character. It would depend on exactly what the offences were (e.g. how serious the assault was). Also, it seems quite likely, reading between the lines, that she had a serious drink problem in her youth, but conquered it.

If it's for a job, I would, however, be more active in seeking recent references than I would for someone who has no criminal record.

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paralysedbyinertia · 15/04/2021 14:30

Trust her with what, exactly?

I certainly wouldn't assume that someone can't be trusted because of previous convictions when they were much younger. People make mistakes, go through difficult experiences etc.

Is this you, OP? If so, maybe time to stop judging yourself and put the past behind you?

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VettiyaIruken · 15/04/2021 14:30

That matters. Yes, I would trust her.

Is this person you?

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Happycat1212 · 15/04/2021 14:31

No and I wonder if the ones who say they would would say the same if it was a man Hmm

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Champagneandmonstermunch · 15/04/2021 14:33

I would cautiously trust someone with that history, but then I am pretty cautious in trusting anyone. Is this you OP? I'd imagine most people would take into account the context, and see that it was very much in the past.

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peak2021 · 15/04/2021 14:33

I'd be wary of being in a car driven by her, but nothing else. Though in part I don't think anyone with a drink or drug driving conviction should have their licence back for a very long time, and without re-taking their test.

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purpleboy · 15/04/2021 14:33

The convictions were a long time ago, relating to a toxic relationship, if she has shown that she can have healthy relationships then there is no reason to think she hasn't changed, and it won't stay this way.

But most people love to write off anyone with a criminal conviction instantly. Although many times they don't even know someone in their life has a criminal conviction!

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Natty13 · 15/04/2021 14:34

@Happycat1212

No and I wonder if the ones who say they would would say the same if it was a man Hmm

I absolutely would , especially since there's nothing to suggest there is a single other reason not to.
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