It’s my birthday and DH ruined it

(150 Posts)
JM55 Wed 14-Apr-21 21:21:24

I’m sitting here in a flood of tears. Hungry (because he specifically told me not to cook and proceeded to be really shitty with me). He didn’t order food.
He never makes me feel special and today is another day. I am beginning to dread special days, My whole family is abroad, I deeply miss them today and I don’t know what to do.

OP’s posts: |
Dropdeadfred2 Wed 14-Apr-21 21:23:09

Happy Birthday . Sorry you are sad. Can you go for a drive and call a friend for a chat??

ICantBeDoingWithThis Wed 14-Apr-21 21:24:46

Happy Birthday 🥳 🎂 I’m sorry to hear DH has ruined it OP.

One question, what is the point of him?

JM55 Wed 14-Apr-21 21:25:13

I feel embarrassed about discussing this with friends (they get spoilt on their birthdays) never felt this lonely.

OP’s posts: |
DeRigueurMortis Wed 14-Apr-21 21:26:17

It's no way to live.

Ring a solicitor tomorrow. Find out your rights and leave him.

Go be with your family if that's possible.

Don't wait to have a crap birthday next year - look forward to celebrating it without him and with people who care for you thanks

TiggeryBear Wed 14-Apr-21 21:26:24

Happy Birthday 🎂
I'm so sorry that you've had a lousy day.

sadpapercourtesan Wed 14-Apr-21 21:26:24

Maybe you should decide that this is the last birthday he's going to ruin. Unless he has some pretty stonking redeeming features?

Happy birthday flowers cake wine

MajorMujer Wed 14-Apr-21 21:26:57

You poor love, I watched my best friend have any special occasion ruined by her wanker of a husband, it was heartbreaking.
She left in the end.

Ninkanink Wed 14-Apr-21 21:27:15


🌷Happy Birthday!🌷

I’m sorry your day has been so shit.

It doesn’t sound like this is a good relationship where you feel loved, cared for and valued. Are you sure you want to stay with him?

pickingdaisies Wed 14-Apr-21 21:27:44

Don't feel embarrassed, feel angry. Think of a friend, and tell them. But first, is it too late to order yourself a takeaway?

MarkRuffaloCrumble Wed 14-Apr-21 21:28:41

Go out and pick up some takeaway for yourself, even if just a McDs or some chips. He’s a shit for making you wait for food that never came, even more so on your birthday.

You deserve better. Give yourself the birthday gift of freedom from a selfish man flowers

LizzieSiddal Wed 14-Apr-21 21:30:02

Is it just special days he's “really shitty with me”or is he like that on other days too?

dotty12345 Wed 14-Apr-21 21:31:25

Happy birthday lovely, I understand had many birthdays ruined by twat of an ex. Make this your last one. 🎂💐🍾🎉🎈

Nats1984 Wed 14-Apr-21 21:32:01

Happy birthday. He sounds crap. Mine used to be too, he does better now because I tell him, I’m ordering a new dress or some shoes for myself and then I order a huge takeaway from my favourite place and just get him to pay . If he’s wilfully spoiling it, that’s different and you need to think carefully about whether he’s good enough for you. In the meantime I’d have a long bubble bath and order something nice to eat for when you get out and sit and pig out infront of something good on the telly. Sending health and happiness for the coming year ( as I wish all my friends on their birthdays ) 🎉

MichelleScarn Wed 14-Apr-21 21:32:04

Happy Birthday @JM55 order yourself a takeaway as pp have said, stuff him!

DeRigueurMortis Wed 14-Apr-21 21:33:53


Is it just special days he's “really shitty with me”or is he like that on other days too?

Does it matter?

Someone who genuinely cares for you is t someone who's nice most of the time but purposely ruins a special day.

IME people who do this simply can't stand anyone else being the centre of attention.

So whilst they are "worse" on special occasions that don't centre them, they "encourage" groom their partner to keep them in the spotlight the rest of the time to keep the peace.

UnsolicitedDickPic Wed 14-Apr-21 21:33:54

I'm so sorry OP. Happy birthday from this internet stranger. You deserve lovely things.

MajesticWhine Wed 14-Apr-21 21:34:22

Have a nice drink of your favourite tipple. Get yourself a bunch of flowers tomorrow. And time to review this relationship, he sounds like a miserable fucker.

AriseMyPretties Wed 14-Apr-21 21:34:26

Is this a pattern?

As in,
He tells you what to do/not do
You do as he says
He gets nasty because you did as he said and instead of the opposite.

If yes, he's a gaslighting emotional abuser.

Leave him, it will only get worse.

speakout Wed 14-Apr-21 21:35:10

What happened OP- how did this situation happen?

stackemhigh Wed 14-Apr-21 21:45:32

Leave him. You’re missing out on good things the use of him.

EasterEggBelly Wed 14-Apr-21 21:55:55


Aprilshowersandhail Wed 14-Apr-21 21:58:18

My dh ruined my 40th birthday.. He was an exh before my 41st.

tara66 Wed 14-Apr-21 22:04:04

Happy Birthday! But how old are you? Some say birthdays are really mostly for children. A lot of people get neglected on their birthday but how did he mess up? Is this the first time (and will it but the last)?!

Vallmo47 Wed 14-Apr-21 22:05:06

Happy birthday OP. Treat yourself as soon as you can to a very special day and pretend that’s your birthday. Don’t spend another minute thinking about him and his behaviour. flowerscake

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