To think the male GP just mansplained?

(292 Posts)
FuckingFabulous Tue 13-Apr-21 18:31:37

I have called today to speak to a GP because for the last eight months I've been having an issue with my periods. Rather than a light to medium flow for five days , I've been having a light flow for five, a crazy heavy flow for one abs then back to light for three days. And I mean crazy heavy. I know many women have it worse but on that day I'm changing super plus tampons every 40 minutes and waking up absolutely flooded three times a night. I feel light headed and trembly on this day and the two days after too, and I get a lot of sparkly/flashing lights in my vision for about a week after.

So. GP. I called the GP when the second period was like it and was told to monitor it for six months. By a male GP, just in the interest of full disclosure. I called again today. And the GP told me I should consider myself lucky that the full eight days aren't like it and what I need to realise about the menstrual cycle is that all women have a varied cycle and sometimes it's extremely heavy and sometimes it's extremely light. It's all normal. I said I didn't find it normal to be bleeding through super plus protection in under an hour, despite it only being a 24-36 hrs event in my monthly cycle. I use more protection in that one day than I do in the seven others! And the feeling of being so light headed for days and the visual aura make me feel unsafe to drive. I explained that I literally go wobbly and start to get that darkening at the edge of my vision so need to put my head between my legs, multiple times a day. He sighed and said "oh, I'm afraid it's part of the trials of being female. You'll get used to it. There's nothing I can suggest except take yourself to bed with a hot water bottle or go out for a jog."

What. The .Fuck?! Firstly, I'm a mother of three and can't just fuck off to bed. Go out for a jog when I'm bleeding like I just gave birth?? And I've been having periods for 25 years- I know what they are! Get used to it, indeed. angry

I'm so annoyed. Years ago I had Mefanemic acid or something similarly named for heavy bleeding, but apparently now there's "nothing" and I'm to just appreciate that it's not for the full eight days.

AIBU to be pissed with his attitude?

OP’s posts: |
museumum Tue 13-Apr-21 18:33:16

YANBU. I’d be raging!!!!angry

Buckingafout Tue 13-Apr-21 18:36:18

YANBU. Can you get another appointment with a different doctor?

CovidCorvid Tue 13-Apr-21 18:36:55

There’s a real issue with getting mefanemic acid and tranxemic acid prescribed these days. I did read there’s a supply issue. I’m on a fb group for people with EDS and one of the symptoms of EDs is very heavy periods and women there complaining about not being able to get it prescribed.

But this gp in particular sounds a twat, is there another dr you can see...ideally a female one?

LondonStone Tue 13-Apr-21 18:36:56

Yeah, fuck that. YA*N*BU.

Merryoldgoat Tue 13-Apr-21 18:37:04

Ffs these doctors.

I was fobbed off for 9 years until I moved house and changed doctors.

Is there a different doctor you can see? I’d also complain to the practice manager.

procrastinationexpert Tue 13-Apr-21 18:37:17

What a twat. I'd complain.

Warrickdaviesasplates Tue 13-Apr-21 18:37:46

That is disgusting behaviour from your GP. As a woman I assume you've experienced a few more menstrual cycles than he has so should know what's normal for you and your body. Dickhead.

Can you make another appointment and request a female GP? When I was struggling to conceive and had all manner of other issues my male GP was worse than fucking useless, once I'd seen a female GP I actually started being treated and sorted out.

Is it possible you could be nearing the menopause? My mum mentioned her cycles beginning to get crazy heavy before her periods stopped, she likened it to "constantly pissing yourself". Maybe ask for a hormone test or something similar that could tell you if it's due to that?

thenightsky Tue 13-Apr-21 18:37:55

Bloody hell. YANBU. I never bother consulting my male GP about 'women's things' ever, after experiencing this sort of attitude. I go straight to the female Nurse Practitioner. She is far more helpful.

CovidCorvid Tue 13-Apr-21 18:37:58

They should be checking you for anaemia and also thinking about an ultrasound for possible fibroids.

Thedogscollar Tue 13-Apr-21 18:38:18

Yes I'd say you are well within your rights to be pissed off with this explanation. I'd ask to be seen by another GP in the practice preferably a woman who may have more empathy with what you are experiencing every month.
You can't keep going on like this every month OP it is impacting on your life and not in a good way. It needs investigating. Good luck.

Happytohelp1 Tue 13-Apr-21 18:38:38

Put in a complaint and ask to speak to another gp.

Theunamedcat Tue 13-Apr-21 18:39:28

Ummm get used to it? In any other profession I would be asking if he likes his job

Speak to another doctor and point out you have been having periods for 25 years you dont need an explanation

LemonRoses Tue 13-Apr-21 18:39:53

I’m amazed you didn’t ask whether he’s dismissive of all his patients.

Pogmaasal Tue 13-Apr-21 18:39:58

I would actually complain about that because someone else going through it might listen and believe him and end up seriously ill or fainting etc as a result.

What an arsehole. Id also find it hard to ever go back to that GP again over anything, is there another doctor you can see?

HermitsLife Tue 13-Apr-21 18:40:13

Your doctor is an idiot and a wanker. You need a second opinion and to get tested for anaemia. I could have written the same post as you word for word, but I was too soft and it went on for years. My cause was fibroids and by the time it was diagnosed the only treatment was a hysterectomy. I was also extremely anemic and needed iron tablets, they didn't pick up on that either.

Keep being a pain in their arse until they have to take it seriously. Another option if you can afford it is to have a private consultation, they tend to be more thorough.

FuckingFabulous Tue 13-Apr-21 18:41:16

Warrickdaviesasplates

That is disgusting behaviour from your GP. As a woman I assume you've experienced a few more menstrual cycles than he has so should know what's normal for you and your body. Dickhead.

Can you make another appointment and request a female GP? When I was struggling to conceive and had all manner of other issues my male GP was worse than fucking useless, once I'd seen a female GP I actually started being treated and sorted out.

Is it possible you could be nearing the menopause? My mum mentioned her cycles beginning to get crazy heavy before her periods stopped, she likened it to "constantly pissing yourself". Maybe ask for a hormone test or something similar that could tell you if it's due to that?


Hmm. I'm 37 so I guess it would be perimenopause if that were the case. I think it's due to the fact that I came off my pill when I was 35 as advised and for a year, my periods were irregular and light and then they just steadily got longer and then this horrible day of awful bleeding. I have had blood tests recently as I have an autoimmune condition and my iron and ferritin are super low, so I've been told to take a supplement.

OP’s posts: |
Didiplanthis Tue 13-Apr-21 18:41:52

Yes. That's bollocks. Go to someone else !

MumInBrussels Tue 13-Apr-21 18:42:30

YANBU. Get another doctor and complain about this one and his sexist, patronising and dismissive attitude. I am furious for you!

You're supposed to flag up changes in your periods, exactly like if they suddenly get much heavier with no obvious reason for it, because it can indicate internal issues that probably need to be treated, like fibroids in your uterus or some rare types of cancer. (I don't want to worry you, it's probably nothing serious - but doctors should at least be aware of the possibility that it's not nothing and at least look into it, rather than telling you it's just what periods are like and all part of being a woman, as if you might somehow not have worked out what being a woman is like yet...)

FuckingFabulous Tue 13-Apr-21 18:42:46

CovidCorvid

They should be checking you for anaemia and also thinking about an ultrasound for possible fibroids.


My ferritin is always low due to coeliac but I had a blood test about five weeks ago and my iron levels were low enough for them to call me and tell me to take supplements. Is it too much to expect them to link the two?

OP’s posts: |
VillanellesOrangeCoat Tue 13-Apr-21 18:43:00

YADNBU!!! What a lazy assed assessment. He clearly missed his gynae rotation during training. Twat angry

Lollypop701 Tue 13-Apr-21 18:43:16

There is a gp at our surgery for women’s health... check if you have one

Zancah Tue 13-Apr-21 18:44:09

I'm having similar problems but I spoke with a female doctor, just the once, and she referred me on the spot - with an urgent referral to boot.

Find someone else and complain about the doctor. Maybe they won't appear to do anything but at least they've a paper trail if others complain too.

FuckingFabulous Tue 13-Apr-21 18:45:41

Thanks, everyone. I've been walking round all day since this feeing all prickly and muttering "fucking twat" to myself, then wondering if I am actually the fucking twat to be feeling annoyed with my periods considering his reaction.

OP’s posts: |
mangoMelon Tue 13-Apr-21 18:46:38

He actually said go to bed with a hot water bottle or go for a jog - wtf!! Bad enough stupid tampon adverts try to pretend that’s all that’s needed but a doctor. Complain. He’s been dismissive and YOU know what’s is “normal” for your body and clearly this isn’t it. Even if it was your regular cycle I’d still expect a doctor to do some investigation as it seems extreme and no human should be feeling faint multiple times a day without medical intervention really. How patronising to say it’s a trial of being a female and “you’ll get use to it”. Complain to practice manager (or whatever protocol is) and request a new appointment with a proper doctor (cos that man isn’t one as far as I’m concerned).

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