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AIBU?

Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

413 replies

CatherineJHealy · 08/04/2021 12:04

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

OP posts:

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BrumBoo · 08/04/2021 12:06

What do you expect the parents to do? It's your home, you should have been firm - either eat at the table or wait until you leave. Too late now and sadly nothing to be done about it.

PinkiOcelot · 08/04/2021 12:07

Wow I would be furious. How old is this kid that gets to demand where he sits to eat?!

I think you have to mention it. Could you get it professionally cleaned and send them the bill?

BadMouses · 08/04/2021 12:09

I think it’s too late: you allowed this to happen and an accident occurred. Lesson learned: next time be firm.

Monsterjam · 08/04/2021 12:10

I agree with others, you allowed this to happen, whilst it’s normal to be cross I don’t think you can say anything after you allowed this to happen xx

folloyourarro · 08/04/2021 12:11

I'd be fuming but not a chance I'd have let a child eat in my living room, I don't let my kids in eat in there so I sure as hell wouldn't let anyone else's.

Icecreamsoda99 · 08/04/2021 12:11

So you sat and watched him ruin you couch I dont understand why you let this happen. Next time use your best sing song voice "no we don't allow eating in the lounge" and be firm if they can't parent their child you will have to.

BrumBoo · 08/04/2021 12:11

Could you get it professionally cleaned and send them the bill?

This is an excellent way not to fall out with friends. Not.

mogtheexcellent · 08/04/2021 12:15

This is an excellent way not to fall out with friends. Not.

Well this friend doesn't seem to care for OPs possessions so...

CatherineJHealy · 08/04/2021 12:15

I didn’t see him do it, FYI. We have two couches - almost like an L shaped setup - but separate couches if that makes sense. I saw him wipe his hands (hence why (as above) I handed them tissues prior (those wet wipes style tissues), but obviously they were still chocolate-y hands. Just to be clear; the parents were sitting with them. I was on my own couch.

OP posts:

TheGumption · 08/04/2021 12:15

They're not good friends though are they? I have four kids and I would never allow this to happen in a friend's house. You should have been firmer at the time but they shouldn't have behaved like absolute animals in tbe first place!

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 08/04/2021 12:17

@Icecreamsoda99

So you sat and watched him ruin you couch

I dont understand why you let this happen. Next time use your best sing song voice "no we don't allow eating in the lounge" and be firm if they can't parent their child you will have to.

Agree with this. The parents should have been stopping him but when they didn’t it was up to you to step in. Tricky in the moment, I know. It doesn’t reflect well on them-if it was my child it wouldn’t have happened but if it had I would have been mortified and made sure I paid for the damage. Some people are just blind to the trail of destruction their little darlings leave unfortunately.

thelegohooverer · 08/04/2021 12:18

They don’t seem as bothered about not falling out with you. I’d be mortified if it was my dc and insisting on paying for them to be cleaned.

TheOrigRights · 08/04/2021 12:22

Bizarre - what parent allows a young child to eat sitting on a white couch?!

What host allows a young child to eat sitting on a white couch?!

GCAcademic · 08/04/2021 12:22

I'm not sure that professional cleaning would help, tbh. My husband dropped chocolate cake on my parents' couch years ago and they got a professional cleaner out but they couldn't remove the stain. However, it has disappeared naturally over the years.

Josette77 · 08/04/2021 12:23

And what did they say?
Did they look embarrassed.
I'd feel awful. They sound like awful friends.

BrumBoo · 08/04/2021 12:23

@mogtheexcellent I was specifically referring to the part where the op doesn't want to fall out with these friends.

I'm not disagreeing with the fact that they were rude to even let the child eat on the sofa - chocolate of all things. However, I'm still wondering what the op wants them to do now that will not cause a fallout. If they have not been forthcoming with an offer to pay for a clean, I doubt they will be 'happy' to be met with an essential 'demand' for one.

CravingTheSun · 08/04/2021 12:24

Why would you allow your child to eat chocolate on someone else’s white sofa!?

Posters saying that you allowed this to happen - yes I think you maybe could have said something (although that could have been a bit awkward!) but ultimately it’s the parents that should be making sure their children aren’t trashing your sofa/rug. And you said you’d ask to eat in the kitchen, which was ignored because the child was shouting at his dad...

Anyway, if you feel like you can, I would say that you have been left with some marks on your sofa and do they have any suggestions perhaps? Say that you have tried a couple of times to get rid of the stains. See what they say. If it were me, I would be offering some kind of professional clean.

Dutch1e · 08/04/2021 12:27

I'm in the Netherlands and most people have personal insurance for exactly this kind of situation. It's not a big deal, just a short chat to say "your wee lad's chocolate isn't coming out of the couch... would you like to sort it between us or is there a process your insurer asks you to follow?"

Sceptre86 · 08/04/2021 12:30

You wouldn't give a child an easter egg ro eat in someone else's home if they haven't mastered basic eating etiquette yet. If I knew my friend had a white rug, my kids would not he eating in that room. The parents should have got the child to wash its hands. Can you not take the cushion cover off and stick it in the wash. Next time you need to be a bit more assertive, the kid doesn't get to dictate where he eats in your home. You should mention it to them and see what they say.

Pinkdelight3 · 08/04/2021 12:32

Shouting kid doesn't overrule host. That's where this went wrong, by not being firm about your rules so you probably have to suck it up. But the fact that your friends weren't mortified by the white rug alone is atrocious. Bizarre to let a kid be the boss of all of you.

PenfoldPenny · 08/04/2021 12:33

I know its too late now but............ I would never have allowed the child to eat there in the first place. Your house your rules. I imagine that kid dictates the rules to his parents at home all the time. Fine if they are happy at their failure to parent effectively but not when his behaviour impacts you/others.

PenfoldPenny · 08/04/2021 12:34

Now that its too late.......... Im not sure Id do anything tbh. Bit late now. Lesson learned.

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Pinkdelight3 · 08/04/2021 12:34

And tissues were never going to solve it. Dry tissues to wipe off melted chocolate? It's all so feeble. Makes me wonder how you're trying to remove the stains. Have you looked up the best way to do it so no hacking is needed?

Hankunamatata · 08/04/2021 12:36

To late to do anything except of professional clean. Next time tell them food only at the table

FlyingBurrito · 08/04/2021 12:37

One of the benefist of lockdown has got to be that this kind of problem has been avoided for a year

You obviously don't have the no indoor mixing rule where you are @CatherineJHealy but could you introduce it to save both your health and your soft furnishings from now on - win win

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