To have taken a few clothes back?

Chintaria · 2021-03-28 23:44:11

Long story, but will try to cut it short. Very close friend lost her baby at six months pregnant a few years ago. I had given her a lot of the clothes from ds in preparation for her ds’s birth. Nothing has been mentioned about the clothes since just after she lost the baby. They have been stored at a relatives house as she (understandably) found it too difficult to deal with. I have not brought up the subject of the clothes as I didn’t want to cause her any extra pain. Last week she called me up to tell me that she had arranged to give all the clothes away to a random girl she’d met in a gym class. She was dropping them off the next day. I was very surprised by this, and told her that I would like to go through the clothes before they were given away as I had given her some very special things that I would prefer to keep, rather than give them to a stranger. She is a difficult person anyway, very bolshy and can be intimidating when she gets cross. She told me that she had organised her afternoon to drop the clothes off to this girl and that she couldn’t change her plans. I ended up messaging her the next day to let her know that I would be going to get the few clothes I wanted before she took them. She was really angry. I went along to the relatives, and took out 2 little cardigans, a dressing gown and ds’s first pair of wellies. This is out of three huge boxes of stuff. I feel quite upset with my friend that she didn’t ask me if it was okay to give all the clothes away, or give me any notice to go and get the bits I wanted to keep (which I had told her about when I let her borrow these bits in the first place). She had made her plans two weeks before, yet only told me the night before it was happening. She is someone who uses emotional blackmail and manipulation a lot. I completely understand how very difficult it must have been for her, but she has told me that I made it so much worse for her by complicating her plans. I don’t see that I did anything wrong tbh - I told her I thought she was amazing for being able to pass the clothes on and give up her hope of ever having a baby. I get it, I really do, but I just really wanted to keep the few things I took back. Do you think IABU for standing my ground? She’s now not speaking to me...

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AIBU?

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