Police advising women not to walk alone at night

(664 Posts)
Bubbinsmakesthree Thu 11-Mar-21 18:30:25

I’ve seen a lot of friends outraged at the Met police locally advising women not to walk alone at night in the days following the disappearance of Sarah Everard. I’ve seen a posts along the lines of ‘how about telling men not to attack women instead?’

I absolutely agree with the wider point that we should be asking the question “how do we make it safe for women?” not “how do women stay out of danger?”

But in this case, was the police’s advice not just the equivalent of advising people to stay out of the water following a shark attack?

I’m so upset and angry about Sarah Everard but I cannot get incensed about the police advising women to take precautions when an unknown attacker may have still been in the area.

OP’s posts: |
ViciousJackdaw Thu 11-Mar-21 18:35:07

how about telling men not to attack women instead

That's not helpful at all. Men already know this. Whether they are listening is another matter.

PicsInRed Thu 11-Mar-21 18:36:07

Better recent evidence suggests it's policemen who shouldn't walk alone at night lest they abduct and murder a woman.

The police have said they're investigating the possibility that the suspect used covid law to detain Sarah.

If that's true - especially given how women sitting on benches and taking coffee walks with friends were frequently detained (in public) for a stern chat and a fine, and considering how little fuck they have to give about rape and domestic violence victims - I couldn't be less interested in anything they have to say ever again.

ViciousJackdaw Thu 11-Mar-21 18:37:39

Posted too soon...I can't get offended either. Of course women should feel free to go where they want, when they want. If there is a psychopath at large though, it makes sense to be as careful as you can.

NoGoodPunsLeft Thu 11-Mar-21 18:37:55

Better recent evidence suggests it's policemen who shouldn't walk alone at night lest they abduct and murder a woman

Yep. It's bloody scary when you feel like you can't even trust the police to keep you safe

Shamoo Thu 11-Mar-21 18:40:01

Telling women to change their behaviour to stop being attacked by men is the wrong message.

It may in reality be sensible not to walk alone at night, all women know that and we make calculated decisions; is this road lit well enough, do my shoes mean I can run, have I got keys in my hand? But the police need to be doing a fuck ton more than telling women not to go out at night.

ComtesseDeSpair Thu 11-Mar-21 18:40:40

It isn’t at all comparable to a shark attack, unless the warning was to fisherman not to go out to sea. The reality is that some women can’t avoid walking in the city after dark. If you don’t live right on a direct public transport route to your destination and can’t afford to pay for a cab to get everywhere, what are your options? Putting the onus into them to supposedly make better choices is therefore spectacularly unhelpful.

Sarah wasn’t walking in the small hours in a desolate part of town - it was mid evening and she was on the main South Circular.

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Clymene Thu 11-Mar-21 18:40:43

The best advice for women would be to never share their home with a man because the men we share our lives and our beds with are far more likely to rape, assault and murder us than any other man.

I can't imagine that would be a popular message though.

LucilleTheVampireBat Thu 11-Mar-21 18:41:16

It isn't acceptable for this to be the message. Not at all. It shouldn't even be considered.

How does it deal with the issue of male violence? It doesn't. It makes it my problem and my responsibility to avoid it. If I don't, well, I was warned eh?

What about women who have no choice? Who work shifts, who can't afford a taxi home and the buses stop at 11. Is it tough tits? The good girls who obeyed didn't get raped so she's collateral damage?

Makes me rage that in the year 2021 the solution to male violence is to tell women to change their behaviour.

twelly Thu 11-Mar-21 18:42:01

I feel we need more public cameras which work

NoGoodPunsLeft Thu 11-Mar-21 18:42:22

It definitely feels victim blame-y, she was out walking at night so she was asking for it type of stance

But as @ComtesseDeSpair rightly says not all women have the luxury of choice in the matter

greenlynx Thu 11-Mar-21 18:46:11

@PicsInRed
Could you post where have you seen that he possibly used COVID law?
Thanks.

Northofsomewhere Thu 11-Mar-21 18:48:13

Could the advice be because they're concerned other people (mainly men) who have been thinking about abducting someone (mainly women) might act on it in light of the extensive (and absolutely necessary) media coverage of the case? They might be attempting to reduce the risk of this happening again very quickly because some other dangerous or ill person is encouraged (wrong word but couldn't think of a better one) by the current case.

PicsInRed Thu 11-Mar-21 18:49:00

Clymene

The best advice for women would be to never share their home with a man because the men we share our lives and our beds with are far more likely to rape, assault and murder us than any other man.

I can't imagine that would be a popular message though.

What has really angered me about this, after the fact that we've lost another woman, is the fact that our patriarchal institutions - media, government, men in society - are right on board with how terrible this is simply because it's looking right now like a stranger danger murder, as opposed to the much more common ex bf or ex husband abuse, rape, murder.

Men don't want to look close to home because in so many cases their own house and those of their brothers, fathers, grandfathers, cousins, sons, neighbours, colleagues, friends and famous personalities they admire are in total disarray and they have NO interest in cleaning it up.

AnyFucker Thu 11-Mar-21 18:49:54

The message needs to be

men stop attacking women

FOJN Thu 11-Mar-21 18:50:58

I understand why they said it but it makes women responsible for the behaviour of men and for being attacked, "If you'd stayed at home, as you were advised, you wouldn't have been attacked".

Carycy Thu 11-Mar-21 18:51:05

Why don’t they put a curfew on men when there is a suspected attacker in the area? Then a perpetrator would stick out like a sore thumb? Because they couldn’t possibly mess with men’s freedoms?!? If they did maybe more would be done about it.

cerseii Thu 11-Mar-21 18:52:02

greenlynx

*@PicsInRed*
Could you post where have you seen that he possibly used COVID law?
Thanks.

It’s just speculation, the police haven’t said that.

x2boys Thu 11-Mar-21 18:52:28

It might get feel like victim Blamey ,but if there is an opportunistic attacker ,on the streets who is determined to attack a lone women ,then they will do that regardless ,I was watching the ripper on Netflix a few weeks ago ,women were advised to walk together ,don't go anywhere alone etc .

Lordamighty Thu 11-Mar-21 18:52:47

It’s not up to women to stop men attacking & killing them.

YoniAndGuy Thu 11-Mar-21 18:53:06

But in this case, was the police’s advice not just the equivalent of advising people to stay out of the water following a shark attack?

I guess, if you're saying that the problem is that men are basically animals? Might attack you, can't be held responsible for this, can't be managed in any other way except by force themselves?

So keep men under curfew. Because they're not really human (like sharks) and might attack you wth no warning (like sharks). Human women have stuff to do . Just curfew the men. Or shoot them. Because they're basically animals.

Bluebird2021 Thu 11-Mar-21 18:53:40

stay in?? to do what? bake cakes? clean?

Hoppinggreen Thu 11-Mar-21 18:54:21

AnyFucker

The message needs to be

*men stop attacking women*

I doubt the men doing it care what the message is

greenlynx Thu 11-Mar-21 18:54:32

I agree. It’s sickening, it can’t be like this. The message should change, women can’t just stay at home hiding after dark. It’s 2021, I’m in my late 40s and I’m still scanning surroundings and staying alert when walking after dark or even at day time in lonely places on my own.

Dontbeme Thu 11-Mar-21 18:54:56

Clymene

The best advice for women would be to never share their home with a man because the men we share our lives and our beds with are far more likely to rape, assault and murder us than any other man.

I can't imagine that would be a popular message though.

Exactly women are not safe from known men in their homes, or safe from unknown men out in public. So the solution is obviously longer skirts and taxis (sarcasm by the way, because you never can tell anyone)

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