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To be fed up of being touched?

(196 Posts)
YeahYesYup Mon 08-Mar-21 15:12:04

My DP touches (or I suppose in most cases i should say gropes) me ALL THE TIME. I downplay it in my head by telling myself it's good he's attracted so much to me etc but it drives me insane.
It's gotten to the point where I realise I give him a wide berth if I walk past him as I know he'll touch/slap my bum if I'm close, if I bend down the same thing everytime, I brace myself for it to happen everytime as he does it without fail.
He will touch my boobs, either over or under my top whenever he fancies and everytime I undress he makes a point of watching and making sexual comments.
I want to add that I'm not a prude, I've had other relationships and have always had no issue with being touched/how much they touch me/ getting undressed infront of them etc but with my current DP it just feels the way he touches and looks at me is different and excessive. But then I just think maybe my previous relationships have been the odd one out and that this is normal in a relationship?

I should add I am still bf my toddler so she is touching my boobs alot and I think that contributes to when my DP also wants to touch them all the time it's just too much, maybe I am being unreasonable?

OP’s posts: |
VerityWibbleWobble Mon 08-Mar-21 15:14:56

Ugh he sounds revolting, it's not normal behaviour at all.

VickyEadieofThigh Mon 08-Mar-21 15:15:27

Being in a relationship with someone does not given them unfettered, unrestricted access to your body and you have the right to say "No".

Unanananana Mon 08-Mar-21 15:22:38

VickyEadieofThigh

Being in a relationship with someone does not given them unfettered, unrestricted access to your body and you have the right to say "No".

This exactly. Being 'touched out' I would say is normal when bf to some extent. But your DP sounds vile. No wonder its making you feel yuck. Sounds like you have 'The Ick'.

HelloDulling Mon 08-Mar-21 15:24:54

What does he say when you say you don’t like it?

Tallybeebloom Mon 08-Mar-21 15:24:57

I love touch and physical affection from my partner and we tend to take any opportunity to touch, even just brushing each others' hand or shoulder as we pass in the house but it's often affectionate and only sometimes sexual. What your partner is doing sounds more like groping to me so I'm not surprised you don't like it all the time.
Have you ever tried raising it with your partner?

angieloumc Mon 08-Mar-21 15:26:49

Gosh he sounds revolting. What does he say when you tackle him about it?

Sexnotgender Mon 08-Mar-21 15:34:09

He’s a revolting sex pest. Does he have redeeming qualities?

OverweightPidgeon Mon 08-Mar-21 15:35:44

Have you told him to stop ?

ForTheLoveOfWine Mon 08-Mar-21 15:37:22

Gross envy (not envy)

Liquorishtoffee Mon 08-Mar-21 15:37:38

'grope me me more time and I will snap your fingers off' (and that's the nice version)

GeidiPrimes Mon 08-Mar-21 15:40:05

That sounds like a horrible way to live, like living in a Carry On film.

What's even more gross is that he's trying to make BFing your child sexual. Just yuk.

CallMeCleo Mon 08-Mar-21 15:41:10

He's your partner and you have a child together so you must be close enough to have a grown up conversation.

Sit him down on the opposite side of a BIG table and tell him that you are more than a collection of boy-toys for him to grope and maul at will.

Tell him he is treating you as his property, his possession, his play-thing and play-ground and a piece of meat, and it's too much.

You are absolutely entitled to your own bodily boundaries and autonomy.

He sounds like a bloody caveman. Ugh.

Don't have sex with him any more until he concedes that you are a woman in your own right and not a thing to be mauled and groped.

Shoxfordian Mon 08-Mar-21 15:41:25

Have you spoken to him and told him to stop?

CaptainVanesHair Mon 08-Mar-21 15:41:34

It’s because he’s making it sexual. If it was a squeeze of your hand, I don’t think you’d mind so much but I could be wrong. The issue is that it becomes your burden even though he’s removing your agency. You need to bring it up and if he tantrums that’s an even bigger conversation.

Yanbu.

Carolina24 Mon 08-Mar-21 15:44:22

Not normal, he sounds grim.

IamTotoro Mon 08-Mar-21 15:44:25

Ugh, he sounds disgusting.

Does he respect you generally?

PeterPomegranate Mon 08-Mar-21 15:45:25

If you don’t like it he shouldn’t do it. And if he likes it and you don’t, maybe you need to decide if that’s a deal breaker.

DrSbaitso Mon 08-Mar-21 15:46:34

What does he say when you tell him you don't like it?

AnotherKrampus Mon 08-Mar-21 15:46:56

Kick him 'affectionately' in the balls...

roastpotatoesss Mon 08-Mar-21 15:48:00

This would put me right off as well, OP. My ex did something similar, whenever we were talking he'd peer down my top and raise his eyebrows like a horny teenager- even thinking about it now gives me the ick.

Agree with PP, you should talk to him about it.

2020iscancelled Mon 08-Mar-21 15:48:23

It’s not normal to grope another adult every time you walk past them. That’s just bizarre. so you could be quietly having a moment to yourself and he’ll come along and grab your arse?

I wouldn’t like this at all but everyone is different and some relationships are going to be more touchy feely than others and I’m sure there are people who love being constantly manhandled.

If you don’t like it then tell him to please calm it down.

It’s incredibly hard when you’re breastfeeding or a mum to a young child because they just want to be all over you all the time. I get touched out by the end of the day. If my partner then stuck his hand up my top I’d probably punch him.

Tell him. If it’s always been normal behaviour between you then he might be a bit surprised but he should respect your right to live your life without a hand up your skirt. If he doesn’t then that’s a whole other discussion

GladysTheGroovyMule Mon 08-Mar-21 15:51:54

Ugh not surprised you’re fed up with it. Have you told him that you don’t like him doing this? If not why haven’t you? Not asking you in an accusing way but wondering if you’re worried about his reaction.

peak2021 Mon 08-Mar-21 15:54:28

Disappointed to see one person thinks it acceptable, or hopefully they pressed the wrong choice. Groping is an assault.

YourHandInMyHand Mon 08-Mar-21 15:54:31

This makes me sad to read OP.

You need a clear and serious conversation.

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