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Husband's pants

(214 Posts)
NoGoodOptions Mon 08-Mar-21 12:46:57

So, I'm in a bit of a dispute with my DH. He was upset not to have clean pants ready in his drawers. Laundry is one of my chores (We split the housework between he and I, but I still end up doing more as I keep things running day to day with all the cooking, laundry, dishes). I didn't consider it such a big deal for him to fetch a pair from the dryer and carry on drying it quickly using our blow dryer. But he flipped and has been going on about it for the past two days, interrogating me about whether he will have clean pants in his drawer or if he'll have to blow dry another pair tomorrow? Eventually I lost my patience and said if he were that concerned, he could wash them himself. He flipped and dropped his tea and cup all over the kitchen floor (threw his toys out of the pram). I don't get it. There have been plenty of times in my life where I've needed to hand wash or quickly dry items of clothing. I earn three times what he does, so it's not like this is my contribution to the house. Just now I told him that I wasn't tidying the tea fro. The floor, he said he'd already done it but then said we weren't going to eat lunch together and got really cross. I mean, this is childish, right? I'm still doing his laundry and he now has a dozen pairs of pants in his drawer so I really don't get the upset. I'm generally very forgiving and understanding and believe in being happy rather than right... but how can I be wrong about this???

OP’s posts: |
MinesAPintOfTea Mon 08-Mar-21 12:49:35

Not doing your share of the chores* in a timely way isn’t ideal... but throwing things all over the floor is worse

* this assumes a fair division with him doing all the washing up, for example, and that you haven’t recently been ill or otherwise less able to keep on top of things

Mylittlepony374 Mon 08-Mar-21 12:50:09

What the fuck. Yes, if washing was my husbands job and I had no clean knickers I'd be a bit annoyed but I'd probably just say "well that's annoying" then dry some, as you say, and move on. His reaction is way over the top.

MatildaTheCat Mon 08-Mar-21 12:50:45

So there were a dozen pairs in the wash? When did you last do the laundry? If he, for example is responsible for dinner it’s the equivalent of him serving it at midnight.

I’d be fed up if I was him but dropping his tea on the floor is weird.

BigSandyBalls2015 Mon 08-Mar-21 12:51:33

I'd cut all his pants up ....

LouiseTrees Mon 08-Mar-21 12:52:40

I think I would also be cross not to have any underwear if either he does more around the house or you both do 50:50. Then again I’m a woman and would never let stocks get so low that I have none, I’d mention before it got to zero or if I was the one doing less I’d wash and dry some myself. He’s being very childish because he should be able to sort himself but pants are essentials so drying with a blow dryer and wearing slightly damn pants not cool.

FuzzyPuffling Mon 08-Mar-21 12:55:54

I'd buy him new pants for birthdays and Christmas from now on. Forever.

Aprilx Mon 08-Mar-21 12:55:57

DH and I both do our own laundry, but if the division of duties was that it was his job to do the laundry, then yes I’d be annoyed at having no clean underwear and having to blow dry it with a hairdryer - I have literally never had to do that in my life, it is weird you seem to think this is normal.

He shouldn’t have thrown his tea on the floor obviously, but at least he cleaned it up. I am not sure what your earnings has got to do with this seeing as you seem to generally agree with the split of household tasks.

OverweightPidgeon Mon 08-Mar-21 12:56:25

If he has 12 pairs of pants and wears 7 per week , how has he run out of clean ones , do you keep on top of washing essentials? His reaction was very childish though.

Whatsnewpussyhat Mon 08-Mar-21 12:56:43

I wouldn't be washing his pants ever again.
Complete overreaction on his part.

He could wash his own.
Buy more pants so he doesn't run out between washes.

Brefugee Mon 08-Mar-21 12:59:23

it's a bit rubbish if you have nearly 2 weeks worth of pants and they're all in the wash and the person who has responsibility for laundry just shrugs.

I'd suggest you swap over all your chores for a month and see how that goes.

He did overreact though (but maybe he feels you're not pulling your weight and he's doing more, pretty much how you feel he's not pulling his weight and you're doing more?)

Tell him to buy more pants.

Newnamefor2021 Mon 08-Mar-21 13:01:50

He clearly needs more pants.

I have never been in a situation where I have had to hair dry my clothes and I can only image how uncomfortable damp pants must be, so I kind of get him being pissed off. However, his reaction also seems extreme. It's all very childish. Buy him 14 extra pants and tell him to grow up.

MyLittleOrangutan Mon 08-Mar-21 13:03:01

The way he reacted is too much. But if your job in the house doing the laundry then yes, you should be making sure he has clean and dry pants. When did you last do the washing if there's not a single pain in his draws?

But then, is it a one of or is a recurring issue with you not actually doing your fair share and he's just snapped. Plenty of women on here have said they've done similar things. We don't know.

As an isolated incident, you didn't do your share of the housework and he over reacted.

Regularsizedrudy Mon 08-Mar-21 13:04:02

You’re in an abusive relationship

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland Mon 08-Mar-21 13:05:33

No one should be having to use a hairdryer on pants that's just disorganised. Do you have enough pairs? You shouldnt be running out like that

LouiseTrees Mon 08-Mar-21 13:06:01


You’re in an abusive relationship

Overreaction there I think!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland Mon 08-Mar-21 13:06:41

Regularsizedrudy I was thinking it was too soon to tell her to LTB but you've rolled straight in with the big guns grin

LindaJoh Mon 08-Mar-21 13:06:42

Ohh dear....NO pants 🩲 how could you leave him knickless poor soul, ok that's enough he is capable of doing washing & drying,
GROWN THE F-CK UP, I'm 67 my X was a petulant child are you sure there's nothing else wrong with this silly man 👨

Oldraver Mon 08-Mar-21 13:07:21

I'd be using his clean pants to mop up the tea

Notaroadrunner Mon 08-Mar-21 13:08:26

He's a twat for reacting the way he did. Tell him to buy more pants if he hasn't enough pairs to see him through the week without having to put on a wash.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland Mon 08-Mar-21 13:08:31

Ps if he has a dozen pairs and had none clean it means you hadn't run laundry for almost 2 weeks, that's not great. Surely once a week is a given.

Carolina24 Mon 08-Mar-21 13:09:05

Oh my fucking god. I would honestly end my relationship over behaviour like that. Not only because it’s shitty behaviour, but because I simply couldn’t be attracted to such a giant, entitled baby.

PussyCatEatingEasterEggs Mon 08-Mar-21 13:09:58

Burn the pants.

lanthanum Mon 08-Mar-21 13:10:28

He needs training to let you know if he's nearly out of pants/socks/shirts/whatever. And possibly, if you're letting washing pile up for over a week, you need to think about what gets prioritised; if I've let it pile up, I tend to make sure that the next load in includes at least one set of underwear and one shirt for everyone, rather than whatever happens to come out of the basket first.

FuckyouCovid21 Mon 08-Mar-21 13:10:40


You’re in an abusive relationship

Nah, OP has stated laundry is one of her chores - I'd also be a bit miffed if I didn't have stuff clean and for there to be 12 pairs in the wash, it sounds like the laundry hasn't been done for a while.

It's not OK that he chucked his cup on the floor but I wouldn't say he was abusive

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