DH and I are in our late 50s and live next door to a single woman a few years younger than us. We've always been friendly and she's been a good neighbour. She has a sister who lives in Scotland and a brother in Australia. They don't seem close.
When we moved here we had two dogs — a Border terrier and a whippet — and she became fond of them and would sometimes help out with dog-sitting. In 2018 she bought a cockerpoo and a Biewer terrier, which are now coming up for three years old. Our last dog died last summer at the age of 16 and we are dog-free for the first time in years.
Late in 2019 our neighbour was diagnosed with breast cancer and we have been been walking and dog-siting her dogs when required. They're nice enough dogs but a bit yappy and high-energy. They're not the kind of dogs we'd choose. We prefer short-haired breeds that don't need lots of grooming. When she was first diagnosed with cancer our neighbour said, jokingly I thought, that she'd leave them to us in her will. I didn't like to say no thanks, it seemed mean.
It's now clear that her treatment hasn't worked. Yesterday we stood in our respective gardens, masked, and she told me she has secondaries in her liver has been told that she may have as little as six months. She said she's seeing a solicitor next week to finalise her will. The house will be sold and her siblings will get the money. She intends to leave us the dogs.
I started to say that we had decided that for the next few years we'd like to be dog-free and take the chance to travel more and she started crying and said if we didn't have them, what would happen to them? So being a coward I just said that it was okay, not to worry.
DH is adamant that he doesn't want them. We're both hoping to retire by the time we're 60 and we'd like the freedom to travel without having to organise kennels and dog-sitters, with all the expense involved. And then of course there's the insurance and the vet fees and the grooming.
AIBU to say no, please don't leave them to us in your will? Should I say we'll take them for a short time and rehome them? We don't want to cause her worry so maybe we should just say yes, we'll have the dogs and then rehome them after her death. Or is that dishonest?
I'd hate to think that we might fall out over this. She may need us more than ever in the coming months and it would be awful if she felt she couldn't call on our support.
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AIBU?
To refuse this bequest?
152 replies
ploomo · 03/03/2021 15:28
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