Sorry I had to change user name for this question. To sum up - MIL has been staying with us since Dec and now says she wants us to convert the basement to become more of a flat for her. DH has asked me to organise this.
I have to admit I have posted about his mother before some years ago because we already did a basement conversion for her in a previous house. As it was being finished (all to her spec) she changed her mind about moving in, so DH then had to get her a flat nearby. This was a total headache for him as she suffers from anxiety and was frequently calling him out in the middle if the night because she was paranoid about intruders. I would describe her as very eccentric in various ways (too many to list).
We ended up moving a few miles away. Not entirely because of her behaviour, but mainly to be nearer the kids’ schools. But now she wants to move in again to this house because the bridge is closed and she says she will feel cut off and lonely.
I can cope with her staying with us kind of indefinitely - that’s one thing - but the thought of putting a mini kitchen in the basement (as they were discussing earlier) is filling me with blind rage, if I can be absolutely honest here. There is nothing wrong with the basement as it is - it has two rooms (one she has been using as a bedroom, one as a living room) and a new bathroom. We’ve only been here a year or so. DH will not say no to his mother as he’s responsible for her. I understand this, but also I feel as if I will explode.
But I’m aware she is an elderly person and his mother, obviously. AIBU to flat refuse this or am I being petulant? I don’t mind people being honest if I am. AIBU?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
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AIBU?
To tell DH I’m not changing the house for his mother?
144 replies
herdownstairs · 02/03/2021 20:17
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
940 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
5%
You are NOT being unreasonable
95%
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