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Friend is really rude ,aibu here?

(319 Posts)
sanber Sat 27-Feb-21 18:51:30

We have been friends for over 10 years but the last year she's been really rude.
She rarely texts me first,rings me once every couple of months.
Today for example I text her "oh I have the worst headache today,hope you've had a good week"
Went on WhatsApp and didn't click on it for two hours,then read it and didn't respond.
Now obviously it wasn't a question but normally that's how you speak with friends.
Yet she's on Facebook,sharing random rubbish.
Yet can't be arsed to string a two second reply.
Then other times mid conversation she just stops responding and you will see her on Facebook.
Am I being over sensitive or is it rude ?

OP’s posts: |
user1936784158962 Sat 27-Feb-21 18:52:27

What?

PotteringAlong Sat 27-Feb-21 18:53:26

Over sensitive

sanber Sat 27-Feb-21 18:54:31

Really ?
I find it rude no reply when your sat on Facebook.
I wouldn't mind if it was now and again but it's nearly every time.

OP’s posts: |
TheChip Sat 27-Feb-21 18:55:03

Over sensitive. If you want an actual conversation with her then strike up a conversation.

sanber Sat 27-Feb-21 18:55:56

@TheChip that was the start of a conversation.
Surely most people would respond how the week had been

OP’s posts: |
ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule Sat 27-Feb-21 18:56:31

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

thefirstmrsrochester Sat 27-Feb-21 18:57:08

Both. You are over sensitive. She isn’t coming across (in the albeit limited info provided) as being a friend.

TheCatWithTheFluffyTail Sat 27-Feb-21 18:57:31

YABU. Right now I have one notification on Facebook and 121 on WhatsApp so I’m semi ignoring WhatsApp for now as I don’t have the energy to go through and reply. I know if anyone needs me that they will call, and I wouldn’t ignore or postpone answering that.

FangsForTheMemory Sat 27-Feb-21 18:57:53

Goodness, how often to you expect people to respond to you complaining about something?

TheChip Sat 27-Feb-21 18:58:22

It depends. I have a friend who would send messages like you have, and when I respond she doesn't actually have much or anything to say. She just wanted to let me know she had a headache.

How has your week been? Is a conversation starter. Hope you had a good week sounds like you're not up for a conversation but wanted to wish her well or whatever.

partyatthepalace Sat 27-Feb-21 18:58:55

Some people aren't big texters. It sounds as if you might be spending a bit too much time on social media as you seem very aware of what she's up to.

I don't know, if her behaviour re your texts has changed then maybe something is up, but practically everyone is slightly bonkers under lockdown. Leave her be for a bit, and see if it picks up in the summer.

sanber Sat 27-Feb-21 18:59:03

That is 1 example of today's message.
It could be anything from "how's lockdown treating you"
"Have you managed to get your head around homeschooling "
It's the same outcome.
Ignores it but is on Facebook.
Maybe if I'm lucky she will text back in a weeks time.

OP’s posts: |
Thedogscollar Sat 27-Feb-21 18:59:08

Maybe her radio silence is actually speaking volumes!!

SeasonFinale Sat 27-Feb-21 18:59:14

YABU

Her phoning you during a lockdown is a nice thing to do not a rude thing to do.

The rest you are being obersensitive.

SchrodingersImmigrant Sat 27-Feb-21 18:59:59

It will sound harsh, but I too would choose to ignore friend's message like this for a bit.
It just sounds really negative. Do you start messages with positives sometimes? We all need some positivity and lots of people had to start stepping a bit back from suepr negative peopel to survive this with some sankty intact.

justletmeadoreyou Sat 27-Feb-21 19:00:15

Some people are just rubbish texters. She may just open a message, think ‘oh I best pop the washing on quickly...’ then forget by the time she’s done.

Hesma Sat 27-Feb-21 19:00:33

I wouldn’t reply to a negative message like that because I wouldn’t want to listen to you harp on about your headache. Make your message more upbeat and I’d reply

sanber Sat 27-Feb-21 19:00:33

There's loads of little things.
She's changed a lot lately.
Last April I sent her flowers for her birthday.
She didn't text to say she received them,until I messaged her and she responded.

OP’s posts: |
MzHz Sat 27-Feb-21 19:00:54

sanber

We have been friends for over 10 years but the last year she's been really rude.
She rarely texts me first,rings me once every couple of months.
Today for example I text her "oh I have the worst headache today,hope you've had a good week"
Went on WhatsApp and didn't click on it for two hours,then read it and didn't respond.
Now obviously it wasn't a question but normally that's how you speak with friends.
Yet she's on Facebook,sharing random rubbish.
Yet can't be arsed to string a two second reply.
Then other times mid conversation she just stops responding and you will see her on Facebook.
Am I being over sensitive or is it rude ?

You see I’d have dropped you a long time ago. Your self indulgent woe is me crap - even once- would have me backing off

Think about what you’re giving, stop draining.

partyatthepalace Sat 27-Feb-21 19:01:19

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule

Why would you open with your headache instead of something nice and positive? "Lovely sunny day here, can't wait until we're able to meet up and enjoy a picnic!"

Are you normally a drain?

This comment is a bit of a leap mind you... I don't think the OP messaging her mates as if she's a member of the Famous 5 is necessarily the solution.

SecretSpAD Sat 27-Feb-21 19:01:29

She's a mumsnetter 😂

sanber Sat 27-Feb-21 19:01:30

FYI the only time she messages me is to discuss her life.
She only rings me when she has a problem.
So sorry if I sound ott but sometimes I would enjoy a conversation too.
Not always on her terms

OP’s posts: |
Legoninjago1 Sat 27-Feb-21 19:01:45

Well I think yabu. Sorry. I loathe the culture of people expecting instant responses. Drives me mad. I finish every day with several half typed messages because I'm constantly interrupted by kids, DH, life. If people don't respond to me, I know it's either because they're similarly busy or they just forgot. It's really not a big deal.

sanber Sat 27-Feb-21 19:02:41

A bit of a drain saying I had a headache ?
Really?

OP’s posts: |

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