Name changed for this just in case the person concerned is on here.
My DD (15) has just told me that one of her friends who lives locally is having a hard time at home but doesn't know who to confide in. She said her friend (same age as my DD) is living with her Mum, step dad and little brother (aged 5), and that both her and mum are afraid of step dad. I asked why - she said he starts lots of arguments and there's always shouting in the house, and that at one point (a few months ago), stepdad held a knife to both her and Mum's throat (5 year old little boy was sleeping upstairs when this happened). She said Mum got her and her friend out of the house and they stayed with a relative for the night.
I asked had Mum phoned the police or tried to get any help? She said no, her friend told her mum is too scared to do this. Her friend made my DD "promise not to tell anyone because I don't want my step dad to go to prison". My DD asked her friend can I tell my Mum about it, as I know she'd want to help if she knew. Friend said yes you can tell your Mum but no one else (hence how I know).
This is a relatively new friend of my DD's - we moved house and she lives locally (they get on the same bus to school hence she's recently got to know her more). I asked my DD if school are aware of the situation, or if anyone at all is involved with the family to support them - she said not that she knows of, she gets the impression from her friend that Mum is too scared to involve anyone for help.
I'm posting for people's opinions as it just sits really, really uncomfortably with me, that a woman, her teenage daughter, and a little boy are at risk of harm from this man just a few miles from my house, but no one knows about it except me and DD. I desperately want to reach out to this poor woman and her kids, but would I be overstepping the mark? It's worth saying I've never met her and I don't even know where their house is (DD knows).
I've said to DD if your friend is ever worried or feels unsafe she's welcome at our house anytime - day or night - please let her know that, etc. My DD is going to pass that on.
Is there something else I should do? WWYD?
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WWYD if your DD told you this?
308 replies
ljs1979 · 27/02/2021 17:33
OP posts:
ljs1979 ·
27/02/2021 17:42
@Chimeraforce
Yes I asked about the little boy - DD told me stepdad "won't touch him because he's his own". In some ways I'm relieved at least one of them is safe, but it just sits so uncomfortably, I wish I could do something to help them. 
OP posts:
ljs1979 ·
27/02/2021 17:51
@HarrietLong
Please report it to the school or NSPCC. Those poor children.
I know, my heart was breaking for them when DD told me
OP posts:
ljs1979 ·
27/02/2021 17:54
@Yebanksandbraes
The friend may have told your DD and said she could tell you because she thinks you will be able to help. She may be scared and not know what to do, but she may be hoping that you will know and do something to end this horrible abusive situation. Please get some advice from the police/school/NSPCC/social services even if just anonymously at first. Those children are not safe.
That's a good point. Maybe she agreed to DD telling me in the hope I could do something. Bless her.
You're right - I need to report it. I'm going to call the school on Monday.
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ljs1979 ·
27/02/2021 17:56
@SnotLongTilEaster
This is so sad. You’ve been amazing to let the DD know she can stay with you if ever she’s afraid. Perhaps you can extend that to her family also?
When I was younger, I remember myself, my sister and my mother being thrown out of the house in the middle of the night quite a few times! Thank god we had my wonderful grandmother, but your DD’s friends mother may have nobody??
When I was younger, I remember myself, my sister and my mother being thrown out of the house in the middle of the night quite a few times! Thank god we had my wonderful grandmother, but your DD’s friends mother may have nobody??
Yes of course, I'd let them all come here if they needed somewhere safe. I just thought in the first instance to offer my DD's friend somewhere safe because Mum doesn't yet know her DD has told anyone... and I don't know how that would affect the dynamics. Would it inflame things for them at home? I don't know her mother at all, I don't want to make it all worse.
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