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To think it wasn't me that needed to apologise?

(149 Posts)
JustNotCoping123 Sat 27-Feb-21 11:12:52

This morning I was in Tesco for some shopping. It's an express store so aisles are a lot narrower than in the bigger shops and there's less space.

I was browsing by one of the shelves when a little boy (I'd say 4-5yrs?) who had been playing in the shop with his sibling ran straight into my leg. It was hard enough to cause him to then fall over and land on his bum. At which he promptly started crying.

His mum saw the whole thing- she just stared at me and then said 'well aren't you going to apologise to him?'

I just said no and walked off, to hear her then say to the little boy 'don't worry, some people just aren't very nice'

Was I in the wrong? I don't have children if that's relevant, and this isn't meant to be a post judging the little boy's behaviour. I couldn't tell you if he was being naughty or if he perhaps had special needs. Either way it isn't particularly relevant as I think his mother should have apologised to me, not the other way round?

It did actually hurt, and I have some health issues that cause me to be a bit unsteady on my feet anyway- that's probably not that relevant but thought I'd mention.

So was AIBU? confused

OP’s posts: |
MrsMercedes Sat 27-Feb-21 11:14:58

You could have expanded on your ‘no’...... SHE should have been controlling him.

Put her in a position to explain

SleepingStandingUp Sat 27-Feb-21 11:17:31

I couldn't tell you if he was being naughty or if he perhaps had special needs I'm not sure what in your post suggests either tbh. He didn't see you, it was an accident - mom should have got him to apologise to you - but I think an "oh he ran into me but it's ok, I know it was an accident" might have been politer than a haughty no whilst you judged them

LApprentiSorcier Sat 27-Feb-21 11:18:43

A supermarket is not a football pitch - there is no offence of obstruction if you happen to be in the way of someone who's running about.

She should have apologised to you. I think you handled it well, though, calmly saying 'no' and walking away. There'd have been no point in arguing with her.

FionnulaTheCooler Sat 27-Feb-21 11:21:57

You have nothing to apologise for, he shouldn't be running around in a shop it isn't safe for all kinds of reasons, shelf corners at eye height, spilled liquid leading to slipping hazards etc. He's lucky a fall onto his bum is all that happened.

AndOffFlewMyLastFuck Sat 27-Feb-21 11:22:05

Bearing in mind his mum saw the whole thing, then wanted an apology I would have probably reacted the same

negomi90 Sat 27-Feb-21 11:23:15

I'd have apologised automatically because that's what I do when I bump into people (no matter who's at fault).
I wouldn't have expected at 4-5 year old to apologise (though there are some that would).
I also wouldn't have objected to you not apologising as the child crashed into you and should have been closer to a grown up. Mum was incredibly rude. If he crashed into you, he could have crashed into a rack filled with glass bottles and been properly hurt.

gamerchick Sat 27-Feb-21 11:25:51

What would you have been apologising for... For being in his way? confused

Kids shouldn't be allowed to run around shops in any circumstances.

MyLittleOrangutan Sat 27-Feb-21 11:26:07

If I was you I'd have checked he was ok and probably said to be careful or something. I think its weird you didn't even acknowledge him.

KingAlex Sat 27-Feb-21 11:31:29

I would have said "Oh dear, are you ok?"
It's odd that you didn't acknowledge him at all, that's probably what got the Mum's back up.

But no you didn't owe him an apology and she should have said sorry to you.

Notabove25 Sat 27-Feb-21 11:31:45

Of course you didn't need to apologise but it wasn't very nice to just say no and walk off. Most people, I think, would have made some soothing noises and asked if he was OK. Although I understand why mother's remarks wouldn't gave put you in the frame of mind to do that.

Undies1990 Sat 27-Feb-21 11:32:58

I would have checked the boy was ok and then got on with my shopping. If the mother saw the whole incident, she should not have expected an apology from you.

Tal45 Sat 27-Feb-21 11:34:11

I would expect his mum to say sorry/tell him to say sorry and remind him to be careful of other people. She probably just thinks her little darling can do no wrong and he'll grow up to be an adult who takes absolutely no personal responsibility for anything.

Ponoka7 Sat 27-Feb-21 11:35:59

I also think it's strange that you didn't react in anyway to a child being hurt. I would have said sorry and followed with an 'are you ok'. But an 'oh dear are you ok' would also be a usual thing to say. Not that you were to blame, but just as a usual reaction to a 4 year old crying. I'd say that your reaction was odd.

Jeremyironseverything Sat 27-Feb-21 11:41:30

You shouldn't have apologised but you should have said more than just no - just to educate the child if his mum won't.

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn Sat 27-Feb-21 11:45:53

If I’d said anything it would probably have been “Ow.” A child running into you hard enough for them to fall over sounds painful.

WildfirePonie Sat 27-Feb-21 11:48:32

YANBU. She should have apologised! I would have been so embarrassed and apologetic if one of my kids ran into someone. Who let's their kids run around a supermarket anyway?!

Crimeismymiddlename Sat 27-Feb-21 11:53:12

It was an accident so no apologies from you, however a similar thing happens to my father who is very unsteady on his feet and uses a stick. The mother was beyond mortified, and apologetic. He was fine about it-however if she hadn’t he would have told her in no uncertain terms how she should be controlling her child.

DinosaurDiana Sat 27-Feb-21 11:54:00

No.

PurpleFlower1983 Sat 27-Feb-21 11:54:11

I would have asked him if he was ok to be honest. Your blunt no sounds a bit rude although for the mother to expect an apology was out of order as it wasn’t your fault.

CoraPirbright Sat 27-Feb-21 11:55:00

YANBU at all! But I do think instead of saying ‘no’ and walking off, i would have said “no, he crashed into me” so the silly cow would have understood why.

CrazyOldBagLady Sat 27-Feb-21 11:58:16

No way, she is crazy, don't give it another moments thought!

sunflowersandbuttercups Sat 27-Feb-21 12:01:16

I don't know. I wouldn't have apologised but if a child ran into me and got hurt, I wouldn't just ignore them and walk off either.

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Feb-21 12:06:09

I just said no and walked off, to hear her then say to the little boy 'don't worry, some people just aren't very nice'

Well she's got a valid point. Some people are just not very nice.

And being completely unconcerned about a small child whose crying because he's hurt himself, would put you in that category for me.

An actual 'I'm sorry' would've been unnecessary as you didn't cause the accident but to show no concern at all, is just cold.

CounsellorTroi Sat 27-Feb-21 12:09:01

YANBU. You certainly had no need to apologise and the boy’s mother was on hand to comfort him so there was no need for you to do anything.

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