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Why are women so bitchy?

(294 Posts)
BearingUp84 Fri 26-Feb-21 14:49:07

For context - I'm a woman and I don't think I'm a bitch!

However there seems to be a group of school mums that seem intent on leaving me out of everything. I had no idea why. They meet up (pre covid obvs), have group chats etc. One of them can't even look me in the eye on the rare occasion she talks to me.

It's like the old adage, 2 company 3's a crowd. But it's when we're in a bigger group as well.

Why do some women just seem intent on leaving someone out? Constantly on the edges etc?

YABU - not all women are bitches
YANBU - these women are bitches, try make more friends

Just rah!

OP’s posts: |
123rd Fri 26-Feb-21 14:54:06

Leave them to it. Do you want to be mates with a group like that-nah! Not all woman are like that at all. Life is too short to give them a second longer in your head.

judgingcat Fri 26-Feb-21 14:54:57

Maybe you're not their friend? I'd find new people to talk to.

Cheeseandlobster Fri 26-Feb-21 14:56:51

I think it depends on if they are just a group of friends who meet up or whether they are deliberately excluding just you. It may just be an established friendship group

Susie477 Fri 26-Feb-21 14:57:37

Unfortunately, some women never mature beyond schoolgirl friendship dynamics when in all-female groups, which is why I have always preferred to work in places with a balanced mix of the sexes.

Ignore these mums and leave them to their juvenile games.

PicsInRed Fri 26-Feb-21 15:01:25

They're not "leaving you out", they're weren't your friends to begin with. You seem resentful of them, but no one owes you friendship

Women aren't "bitchy", but your OP is rather.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme Fri 26-Feb-21 15:01:55

I hate it when people come out with nonsense like this. Women don't have shared personality traits, and bitchy is just a word used to tear women down for doing things men also do - but men aren't expected to be warm and fluffy and kind and everyone's friend.

Why do you think these women are "excluding" you rather than simply friends with each other but not you, because they clicked/ have the same semse of humour/ feel comfortable together and awkward with you simply due to individual personality?

snowblower Fri 26-Feb-21 15:03:07

Well you answered your own question by saying 'I'm a woman and I'm I don't think I'm a bitch'. Just because they have a good friendship doesn't make them bitches. Maybe they go back a long way, maybe they just click '. They don't Include
You in the group chat & that's ok,they don't have to. School is where your children make friends.

Notanotherhun Fri 26-Feb-21 15:05:01

It's horrible, isn't it. And if you express annoyance at it, you're made to feel unreasonable for expressing sadness that people can't be civil or at least friendly. Nobody is owed a friendship but I'm noticing now in my mid 30s that people aren't interested. They all have their own friends which makes it incredibly difficult to build any new friendships, particularly if you've moved a lot.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl Fri 26-Feb-21 15:05:46

Maybe they sense your misogyny and don't want to be friends with you?

MrBullinaChinaShop Fri 26-Feb-21 15:06:30

Maybe it’s their personalities and not their sex which is causing them to be bitchy?

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously Fri 26-Feb-21 15:06:53

Sadly, I do think many women never grow out of school girl behaviour. Even if they are an established friendship group it's still rude to ignore somebody who is there everyday. I've got one ignoring me at the moment because our children have fallen out and she thinks it's my child's fault. It's crazy behaviour. There's nothing you can do bar taking a view that you are better off not associating with the batshit and finding nicer people to talk to.
Also, remember that it's just the school run and none of these people really matter.

MuddleMoo Fri 26-Feb-21 15:07:12

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

Maybe they sense your misogyny and don't want to be friends with you?

This

Notanotherhun Fri 26-Feb-21 15:07:18

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

Maybe they sense your misogyny and don't want to be friends with you?

Misogyny? Example?

SnowdropsCrocuses Fri 26-Feb-21 15:07:52

Women don't have shared personality traits, and bitchy is just a word used to tear women down for doing things men also do - but men aren't expected to be warm and fluffy and kind and everyone's friend
This. YABU

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor Fri 26-Feb-21 15:10:22

Some women seem to think we're all in competition with each other (for which prize I'm not sure) and view other 'new' women in this way.
I've come to the conclusion i won't bother with these women, or just totally kill them with kindness.

Love2cycle Fri 26-Feb-21 15:10:44

I totally agree with this. A man would never think like this, it wouldn't cross their mind. It makes it hard work, constantly having to make sure no one is left out and never accidently offending anyone.
I try and think like a man now and just go with the flow and not read into stuff so much.

Look at your own post, OP. The title of the thread you created. The one referring to other women using derogatory, misogynistic, pejorative language.

If you generally have a tendency to view other women in this way then it's possible they are mirroring your own attitudes and prejudices right back at you. Or maybe, and this is usually the case in these situations, they're simply getting on with their own lives and haven't intentionally targeted you for the cold shoulder at all.

PresentingPercy Fri 26-Feb-21 15:11:21

Just try and find people like you op. Not worth labelling the others!

FTEngineerM Fri 26-Feb-21 15:11:27

Errr why do you care?

They’re obviously either arseholes or happy with the amount of friendships they have. Leave it there and make friends elsewhere if you’d like a new friend?

ChancesWhatChances Fri 26-Feb-21 15:11:37

Maybe they just don’t like you? They’re not obliged to include you in anything at all if you’re not their friend hmm

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously Fri 26-Feb-21 15:11:42

Warm and fluffy, no. But polite, yes.
I've been a mum at the school gates for many years now and I've never seen men freeze other parents out of conversation. Men have plenty of their own faults but I do think that this is a trait that you see more in women.

Misogyny? Example?

The word 'bitch'.

FoxyTheFox Fri 26-Feb-21 15:12:13

If this was your child you use it as an opportunity to explain one of life's great truths - not everyone wants to be your friend. It doesn't mean they're bitchy or immature or unkind, it doesn't even mean they dislike you per se, it just means they don't want to be friends. They're not obligated to be friends with everyone, concentrate your efforts elsewhere rather than wasting your time with them.

Love2cycle Fri 26-Feb-21 15:13:10

... I meant to quote the post by untilmynexthairbrainedschene then!

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