Long post 😅
I’ve just had my first DC and I guess it’s made me really look at my relationship with my own mum. She’s never been the affectionate type. She was always home with us while dad worked. We weren’t a very well off family at all but they made sure we always had everything we needed to get by. We weren’t brought up doing any family stuff really...no meals together, no days out together, no holidays etc.
She’s never really been interested in doing what I would class as “mother/daughter” stuff eg, She didn’t take me shopping for my prom dress - I went alone because everyone else went with their mums (petty to hang onto that I know, but it’s really stuck with me!).
When I found out I was pregnant my dad told me “you’re never going to get rid of your mum, you know that don’t you? She’s been excited for this day for as long as I can remember!”. I told her I was pregnant, she told me she was delighted, then that’s pretty much all I heard from her. She’d never really check in to see how I was unless I’d called her for something then she’d ask. There was no excited chat about baby things, no offering advice (even if I phoned asking for it she’d just say she didn’t know🙄), no shopping looking at baby clothes. I guess just none of the stuff that friends have had with their mums 🤷🏻♀️ In fact, one day when I was pregnant and I was with her in the car she commented on how she just feels better being a “hands off” mum. Whatever that means 🤷🏻♀️ Yet whoever I’d bump into any family friends... “your mum is so excited!” 🤔
Flash forward to now when DC is here. First grandchild. She doesn’t ever ask how we are - in fact, she never contacts us first. Never offers help/advice even when it’s asked for etc. Her household is supposed to be my “support bubble” and we’re going to try and stay as isolated as possible...yet she decided that going to meet random friends (non socially distant) and a million trips to the supermarket each week are more important so that was the support bubble out the window. No offer to pick stuff up for us that we might need on any of these trips either. Yet I bump into family friends “ohhh, your mum raves about him!” Blah blah blah! 🙄
I have asked her to do these things...the baby/prom shopping etc. The answer is always “maybe...”, change of conversation never to be revisited.
Maybe I just need to accept the fact she’s not that interested in me 🤷🏻♀️😅 I’m a grown up, I don’t need her to do anything for me at all...but it would be nice for her to want to offer advice/help, or maybe spend time with me 🤷🏻♀️ It just makes me feel a bit sad if I’m honest.
I look at my DS and can’t imagine not wanting to do things with him that he’s asking me to do 🤔
Am I just being bratty?
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AIBU?
To feel a bit let down by my Mum?
92 replies
Squish3 · 25/02/2021 23:46
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
448 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
11%
You are NOT being unreasonable
89%
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