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AIBU?

AIBU to tell every mother on mumsnet...

999 replies

LastRoloIsMine · 25/02/2021 22:18

We nearly lost the word mother and all that comes with it?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4176497-History-in-the-making-Watch-Parliament-Live-at-2-30pm

The maternity bill wanted to remove the word mother/woman and replace it with pregnant person.
Those words are important and women have fought for a century to be recognised yet we were nearly wiped out in favour of belief not fact.

I wont say "I am not transphobic" like some sort of plea! I dont actually have to I am just fighting for womens rights no need for me to explain myself any further.

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AnnaPotter · 25/02/2021 22:24

You’re being ridiculous. Your experience isn’t defined by legislation. If you consider ‘mother’ to be the right word for you then use it freely, as is your right. Whether legislation is trans-inclusive it not doesn’t affect your ability to do so in the slightest.

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Shouldershrugger · 25/02/2021 22:24

So women aren't allowed to refer to themselves as women or use the usual womanly terminologies now?? This is starting to really piss me off now. And no, I'm not transphobic. But I believe I should be able to identify and use womanly terms as I bloody please. I'm not standing against anyone but I'm standing up for myself as a mother, sister, daughter, wife, auntie and most importantly a woman!

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AnnaPotter · 25/02/2021 22:26

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LastRoloIsMine · 25/02/2021 22:26

Of course it affects me!
It affects my healthcare.
My employment.
My right to benefits.
It affects my child's legal documents.

Are you really that stupid?

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Timeforabiscuit · 25/02/2021 22:27

@AnnaPotter - no, it does matter - if I am not recognised and described appropriately in legislation, how are my rights upheld and protected?

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AnnaPotter · 25/02/2021 22:27

How? How are those things affected by a piece of legislation using the phrase ‘pregnant person’ instead of woman? Be specific - what harm would that phrase do to you?

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AnnaPotter · 25/02/2021 22:29

Be specific @Timeforabiscuit - outline a scenario in which you would experience harm?

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JackieWeaversZoomAc · 25/02/2021 22:29

What agenda is served by not referring to people who bear children as mothers and woman? It's really not an agenda that deserves any say in the wording of this legislation.

Pregnancy maternity and motherhood has fuck all to do with transgender rights. It's 200% about women's rights, motherhood and women's place in society. Language is important. We have language that has meaning and it should be used properly especially in our legislation.

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Perfect28 · 25/02/2021 22:29

Eye roll. How does it affect you and your life in the ways you explain?

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JackieWeaversZoomAc · 25/02/2021 22:29

100% obvs

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LastRoloIsMine · 25/02/2021 22:30

Of course you fucking are. Where does it even remotely suggest that you can’t? Stop making shit up to suit your agenda.

Actually no. I am not making it up.
The word mother was removed from the recent maternity bill. Replaced with pregnant person.
Breast feeding is being replaced by chest feeding. Women are menstruation or cervix havers.

Women are not allowed to discuss our biology or our issues as women. It upsets the non women.

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ooohbriefcase · 25/02/2021 22:30

Is pregnant person just replacing pregnant women/pregnant mother? Or mother in general, as in after the pregnancy?

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VladmirsPoutine · 25/02/2021 22:33

Nobody would stop you referring to yourself as 'Woman' or 'Mother' or 'Breast-feeding' etc etc

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AnnaPotter · 25/02/2021 22:34

Woolly truisms like ‘language has meaning’ are pointless. What actual harm do you envisage? In the mumsnet echo chamber you might find a hundred people willing to say ‘you’re so right’ and save you the effort of actually thinking, but I want to know exactly what damage would be done to you by legislation using the term ‘pregnant person’ rather than ‘mother’?

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LastRoloIsMine · 25/02/2021 22:35

Its taken over 100 years for the word woman to have legal rights.

You can only vote because women generations before you fought and died so that the word woman mattered. You can get a bank account, a mortgage, contraception and decent healthcare all because women made the word WOMAN legal. Before then we were just non men.

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Timeforabiscuit · 25/02/2021 22:35

This reply has been deleted

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BrumBoo · 25/02/2021 22:35

@AnnaPotter

You’re being ridiculous. Your experience isn’t defined by legislation. If you consider ‘mother’ to be the right word for you then use it freely, as is your right. Whether legislation is trans-inclusive it not doesn’t affect your ability to do so in the slightest.

Oh dear, someone's drank the kool-aid. In all the history of humanity, it is the female sex that gets pregnant and gives birth. We have a history of being forced into it, dying for it, being treated like shit for it. Maternal (is it still maternal?) care can be atrocious, even in first world countries. Becoming a mother instantly puts women at a socio-economic disadvantage. So yes, it is our word and it has a huge amount of importance behind it. It should not be changed for a tiny minority with gender beliefs, as mother and women reflect the reality of the biology that is pregnancy and birth - only biological women can do so.
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therocinante · 25/02/2021 22:37

How would your employment rights be affected by being referred to as a pregnant person, rather than a mother?

"A pregnant person is entitled to leave after giving birth" - fine. "A pregnant person is entitled to time off for appointments" - again, can't see how not using 'mother' makes absolutely any difference there.

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ooohbriefcase · 25/02/2021 22:37

@VladmirsPoutine that's what I thought. No one in the hospital referred to me as pregnant women or person. Just my name I think.
And if they did refer to me as person, or chest feeding I would probably just ignore them completely tbh. Nobody I know personally would use those terms and if a stranger did, again I would just blank them.

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BabyElephant2 · 25/02/2021 22:37

There will always only ever be two genders to me.

I will always be and describe myself as a woman, mother, sister, wife etc

Women get pregnant, women have babies, women have periods. Men do not.

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therocinante · 25/02/2021 22:38

Same with benefits: "pregnant people are entitled to free dental care" how does not using mother disadvantage you, here?

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Annabell80 · 25/02/2021 22:38

@LastRoloIsMine

Of course it affects me!
It affects my healthcare.
My employment.
My right to benefits.
It affects my child's legal documents.

Are you really that stupid?

Well I'm willing to admit I'm stupid then. What are the actual examples where these things will be affected?
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AnnaPotter · 25/02/2021 22:38

Endless meaningless word salad, designed to whip up anxiety and intolerance, but nothing remotely real or concrete. ‘Words have meanings!’ you shout, like it’s something profound instead of an endlessly trite phrase that conveys nothing more than fear and prejudice.

Name the specific harms you fear. If they existed, you could do so. What does it say about you that you can’t?

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LastRoloIsMine · 25/02/2021 22:39

anbapotter

People are 7.8 billion. How many of them give birth? Die while pregnant? Die while giving birth to the next generation?

If all 7.8 billion people could give birth it wouldn't matter but only 51% are the sex that can. We are women not just people and we deserve rights.

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Timeforabiscuit · 25/02/2021 22:39

Women, women get the shit end of the stick when it comes to living in a capitalist society - the burden of care is not recognised, you see a high proportion of single parents being male (because I dont!) so correct phrasing in law is imperative.

Unless you live in the world of unicorns and faries where love is love and be kind means don't argue?

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