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Piss off, Pam!

(1000 Posts)
FuckingFabulous Wed 24-Feb-21 12:38:17

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP’s posts: |
Shoxfordian Wed 24-Feb-21 12:42:47

Block Pam and anyone who liked her posts

PerfectPenquins Wed 24-Feb-21 12:44:00

It's not the high road but I don't care I would have absolutely tore into pam and anyone else who added nasty, ignorant comments. They are vile. Some home truths needed for dear pam!

Inpersuitofhappiness Wed 24-Feb-21 12:44:07

Ugh awful. I do find there's a lot of people like this, seem to think being older entitles them to having the jab first.

MIL being one. I've "blagged" my way into getting jabbed before her.

Homestly. This pandemic has shown me who the massive twats are and they are people I will want nothing to do with once this is all over.
You will never convince her that she is wrong, but she sounds like an absolutely vile, bitter woman.

BlackBrowedAlbatross Wed 24-Feb-21 12:44:11

I think your mum is right but for different reasons. Pam is obviously having a whale of a time, but you are getting upset (understandably). Do not allow her to carry on enjoying herself by upsetting you. Block her and have a lovely life with your family.

Hobbesmanc Wed 24-Feb-21 12:44:53

You know as upsetting as this is- maybe people should just keep quiet about their vaccination status. It's a contentious issue and there's really no need to share.

Pam sounds like a total cow bag though

HumphreyCobblers Wed 24-Feb-21 12:45:16

I would entirely ditch the lot of them.

MrsWooster Wed 24-Feb-21 12:45:29

Say that you’re going to block her for her lack of compassion, her selfishness, her rudeness, and her insensitivity, THEN block her. Bollocks to ‘blood’s thicker than water’ nonsense from mum.

LesLavandes Wed 24-Feb-21 12:45:37

Why did you name her'Pam'?

ThreeTwoOneBlastOff Wed 24-Feb-21 12:46:17

Wow that’s disgusting, Pam is a utter ignorant twat.

You’re right, why do your feelings and your DH’s not matter? Why should you protect her, unfortunately you are not going to change her mind. Nothing you say will do that and I expect if you say something she’ll probably plaster it all over fb or play the victim. However I don’t think I could hold my tongue.

MrsTWH Wed 24-Feb-21 12:46:52

I would absolutely block Pam from FB!

Pixilicious Wed 24-Feb-21 12:48:21

I think my response would be ‘fuck off Pam you nasty bitch’ and then block her!

herewegoagainst Wed 24-Feb-21 12:48:42

You did the right thing by deleting the post, I would block her as well.
The 'queue jumping' debate is pointless, everyone will have theirs in a few months but she will be a prat forever.

Hobbesmanc Wed 24-Feb-21 12:49:03


Why did you name her'Pam'?

I can kind of hear Alison Steadmans voice when I picture Pam- you know when she gets really pissed in Gavin and Stacey and attacks everyone

Lammergeier Wed 24-Feb-21 12:49:30

Just fucking block them.

Tiktokersmiracle Wed 24-Feb-21 12:51:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rillington Wed 24-Feb-21 12:51:02

Why did you need to broadcast that you had, had the vaccine?

JosephineBaker Wed 24-Feb-21 12:51:05

Don’t have a go at her, it won’t achieve anything and perpetuates her self-aggrandisement.

Just block her, have a cuppa and move on to a Pam-free existence.

enchantedspleen Wed 24-Feb-21 12:53:00

Pam sounds like a jealous, vindictive arsehole who is acting like a nasty little bully.
I would make it clear to her what an idiot she's revealed herself to be, fuck the family politics.

Phillipa12 Wed 24-Feb-21 12:53:56

I would have bitten and told her precisely what I thought of her, vile, rude etc, would not have spared her, then informed her at the end that it was a free country and you are entitled to your opinion. Then I would block her and enjoy a Pam free life, no one needs that shit in their lives!

Gwenhwyfar Wed 24-Feb-21 12:54:20


I think my response would be ‘fuck off Pam you nasty bitch’ and then block her!

That'll make the next family gathering fun.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore them. I would then just change my settings so they don't see anything more I post. No need to block and cause more ructions.
Having said that, my older relatives don't behave like this.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 24-Feb-21 12:54:42


Is ADHD on the list of underlying health conditions ? I've googled the list and can't see it confused

I have 3 people to tell who would be delighted grin

FoffeeCoffee Wed 24-Feb-21 12:54:46

Who is Pam, how is she related to you?

I'd block her and the other laughing family member.

Cheeseandlobster Wed 24-Feb-21 12:55:33

Pam is an absolute twat and you cant reason with stupid. For everyone who liked this you can bet there were quite a few who thought that Pam was wrong but didn't comment because they know what an argumentative idiot she is

korawick12345 Wed 24-Feb-21 12:55:44

I don’t know why you felt the need to broadcast that you have had the jab. By putting it on Facebook you are basically announcing that you are in a special category and then getting angry and defensive when people ask what that category is. ‘Pam’ sounds awful but the entire incident occurred because you felt the need to tell everyone that you are in group 6. I also think you have made an enormous leap to get from idiot to a reference to your partners Adhd

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