To be pissed off over his comment?

[WonderingIf38]

My bf and I were talking and I told him we should like each other for who we are. He has made a jokey little comment or two about my weight before. I've let it go each time as he has a way of putting his foot in it and not meaning it.

Anyway, during today's conversation, he said if I lost weight, sex might be easier, that his dick would go in. It goes in fine mostly, there are one or two positions that are tricky, but I'm flexible and we have an active sex life but he often has issues getting an erection, yet sometimes he can get one absolutely fine. I was upset by his comment and retorted that the problem is that his dick doesn't get hard. He's really pissed me off. He should like me for who I am, weight and all. I'm overweight because of mental health issues and endometriosis. I've never mentioned his erection problems in a negative way before and always been very supportive and nice when the erection hasn't happened.

[Ohalrightthen]

Tell him to fuck off and find someone who isn't such a bastard.

[WonderingIf38]

@Ohalrightthen He does have a way of saying things that he doesn't mean but I think he must mean this to say it.

[newnameforthiscomment]

Of course he means it. It doesn't mean that you have to put up with it.

If my DP told me he couldn't get hard because I was too fat, I wouldn't be able to have sex with him again.

[Cleverpolly3]

I’d like to think I can add something to the conversation here but @Ohalrightthen has beaten me to it

[Ithinkhedidit]

Wooooow, so you should lose weight purely to make it easier for him to get his dick wet? Nice. Btw, if he is repeatedly mentioning it - even as a "joke" - he means it. You can do better.

[ShalomToYouJackie]

What an arsehole. That's really unkind. I'd be tempted to reply that if his dick worked then it would go in.

When I was overweight I still managed to have sex, you are not the problem.

Why are you with someone who is unkind to you?

[VettiyaIruken]

Don't fool yourself.
He means what he says.

People hide behind that bollocks far too much.

[WonderingIf38]

He didn't blame my weight on his erection problems. He just said if I lost weight it would be easier for him to get it in in certain positions. We do most positions just fine.

[Takingontheflab]

I think he was trying to shift blame on you. Deflect from his erection issues.

He cannot be vile to you, then get mad when you return the favour! Atleast your comment was factual. You need a new bloke. Seriously

[AStudyinPink]

he said if I lost weight, sex might be easier, that his dick would go in.

I’m confused about how your weight affects his ability to get his penis inside you? Sounds more like he’s got a soft one to me.

[ButtWormHole]

LTB

[EveryoneRevealsThemselves]

What’s the fabulous Maya Angelou quote? When someone tells you who they are, you should listen.

He’s an arsehole. Don’t waste another moment of your precious life with him. Your self esteem will never improve with a bastard like that.

[LunaLula83]

Great idea honey and your dick will look bigger!

[Yesmate]

Sounds like a prick. A horrible, nasty prick. Get out and don’t look back.

[OrigamiOwl]

If my DP told me he couldn't get hard because I was too fat, I wouldn't be able to have sex with him again
Exactly this!

[anotherboyontheway]

He's feeling insecure that his cock doesn't work properly so he's trying to project the blame on to you. Don't listen to him honey, sounds like an arsehole!! X

[NurseButtercup]

Tell him to fuck off and find someone who isn't such a bastard.


Follow this advice immediately.

[Ohalrightthen]

[quote WonderingIf38]@Ohalrightthen He does have a way of saying things that he doesn't mean but I think he must mean this to say it.[/quote]
I call bullshit on "saying things he doesn't mean".

I think you'll find, he says shitty hurtful things on purpose, and then denies that he meant to be shitty and hurtful, and makes a big song and dance about how he can't help it, he says things he doesn't mean, that's just how he is, etc etc etc, and all of a sudden you're not allowed to be hurt by the shitty hurtful thing he's said.

[B33Fr33]

Yep. I think @Ohalrightthen sums it up.

[Thingsdogetbetter]

So he's not concerned about your weigh for your health or your happiness and well being, it's purely so he can get into some different positions in bed? That's why he makes digs (they're not jokes) because he can't have sex in a couple of positions? Fucken hell! Is that what's most important to him?

[JustAnotherOldMan]

Dump him, l used to date a larger lady and the sex was excellent! But she turned out to be a pretty horrible person so got dumped

[CharlotteRose90]

Yeah your relationship isn’t working and is working. He’s made it quite clear that he finds you unattractive with you being overweight. Also it could be why he’s having erection problems I’m sorry to say if he no longer finds you attractive. It’s awful but you need to leave.

[CharlotteRose90]

@CharlotteRose90

Yeah your relationship isn’t working and is working. He’s made it quite clear that he finds you unattractive with you being overweight. Also it could be why he’s having erection problems I’m sorry to say if he no longer finds you attractive. It’s awful but you need to leave.

I meant to say isn’t working only oops

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Just tell him you are off to find someone with a bigger dick....

[ParlezVousWronglais]

Gawd. If you’re having these issues with him at this stage imagine how much worse it can get over the long haul. Just move on.