To think a confidential issue should be kept confidential?

[Nicknamegoeshere]

I'm dealing with an extremely emotional/sensitive issue at the moment which is very difficult for myself and my children.

Yesterday I contacted someone who I had been given as a helpful contact for people who find themselves in a similar situation.

I found him to be very blunt, which was OK in itself (although not very helpful when I'm so low), but he discussed the situation to a point and gave me his advice. I thanked him and ended the call.

Or so I thought. For whatever reason the call hadn't disconnected.

I then heard him saying to a woman: "Oh fuck. Do you think I shouldn't have said that?" He asked this question repeatedly. He then went on to discuss the details of the reason I had called.

AIBU to think this is not OK?

[BullOx]

The irony of complaining about confidentiality whilst eavesdropping.....

[AStudyinPink]

It depends. What guarantee were you given of confidentiality?

[sunflowersandbuttercups]

Did you ask him to keep everything confidential?

[ErickBroch]

I mean it's really hard to tell without knowing who this person is. Are they a professional?

[Nicknamegoeshere]

So if my husband (who is WFH as a social worker) took a call and then came into the front room and told me all about that person and their issues... would that be OK?

[Nicknamegoeshere]

@ErickBroch Yes.

[Nicknamegoeshere]

@DeepFakeQueen From her responses it was clear she wasn't a fellow professional. Sounded like his wife/partner?

[AStudyinPink]

Well, is this person a social worker? It’s impossible to tell, OP, you’re being too cagey.

[FluffySocks75]

Is it part of an organisation? If so your confidently is with them not with the individual

[Nicknamegoeshere]

@Countdowntonothing No he has been working in his field for years.

[sunflowersandbuttercups]

Is this person a social worker? They may have been discussing the call with a colleague or manager?

[Butchyrestingface]

Not enough detail by half to comment.

Was this a social worker? Counsellor? Solicitor? Were you paying for their advice?

[Nicknamegoeshere]

@FluffySocks75 Not part of an organisation.

[Nicknamegoeshere]

@Butchyrestingface An initial consultation. Does it make a difference if I am paying then? As in you have to pay to guarantee confidentiality?

[SueEllenMishke]

@Nicknamegoeshere

So if my husband (who is WFH as a social worker) took a call and then came into the front room and told me all about that person and their issues... would that be OK?

As long as you couldn't identify who he was talking about then it's not really a huge issue.

Regarding your original post - what promises of confidentiality were you promised? Did the person identify you in any way?
It's quite common for colleagues to discuss issues but identifying details should be left out.

[Fucket]

And this is why I don’t think people who work in sectors requiring their patients/or persons requiring their help should be allowed to work from home. I would not be happy and satisfied that they can 100% achieve the required privacy and confidentiality. There is no way for the patient/person receiving advice to check. There is no way for the employer to check. They should be key workers still going to their place of work and not WFH. It’s an astounding lack of professionalism and I would make a serious complaint.

[ButtWormHole]

This drives me crazy. You’re giving teeny tiny bits of information that won’t help us to help you.

Someone here might have had the exact same issue and be able to guide you through a complaints procedure but you’re playing ‘hard to get’ or whatever.

It is an anonymous forum. You’re not going to put yourself by sharing what happened and with whom.

[Nicknamegoeshere]

@SueEllenMishke I am almost certain it wasn't a colleague.

[SueEllenMishke]

It would help if we knew the profession and if you agreed the limits of confidentiality

[Butchyrestingface]

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@Butchyrestingface An initial consultation. Does it make a difference if I am paying then? As in you have to pay to guarantee confidentiality?[/quote]
It's difficult to say without more detail, I think.

We don't know who you were consulting, what about, and who he was talking to.

[ErickBroch]

If a professional then yes of course it's wrong! You weren't clear in your OP that was all and was why I asked.

[Nicknamegoeshere]

I can't say any more apart from it regarding a highly complex court case.

[SmileyClare]

It's hard to comment without knowing something of the issue or the person's (you spoke to ) professional capacity?

It must have been horrible to hear your case being discussed like that although he sounded concerned he hadn't dealt with you sympathetically,

I mean for example, a doctor discussing a patient's case with a fellow more experienced doctor, getting advice on how to proceed is fine. The same doctor leaning over the desk to laugh about Mrs N's piles with the receptionist, isn't fine.

Perhaps you're worried he might discuss this with everyone he knows. It's likely he wouldn't take it out of his work setting.