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AIBU?

To think this response to a hospital complaint isn’t good enough ?

229 replies

famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:01

Dd had been unwell for some months in 2019. Repeated trips to gp. Nothing found.
Stomach aches, cold all the time, not growing well feeling sick etc etc all those sorts of symptoms and worsening. Kept being told ‘viral’

One week she was so unwell we took her to a and e as I suspected anaemia maybe as she was sleeping a lot and had no energy?
I was very worried we were seen and a dr said she probably needs some bloods done which I agreed with and we went to wait for the emla cream etc.

Then we were called through by a diff dr and agressively questioned then said she actually didn’t actually think bloods were needed i said I wanted her to have them done she kept shouting at me in front of dd ‘why do you want me to hurt her by putting needles in her ?’ And ‘I won’t stick needles in a child for no reason ‘
She was absolutely horrible told us dd was ‘fine ‘ That she looked fine I tried to explain she looked so much healthier a year before and had now become paler and thinner but she said no she looked fine to her

She was aggressive and was telling me I wanted to have my child hurt for no reason with a needle ??

I decided to walk out and we then went private. Waited a couple of weeks had bloods and dd was anaemic and had coeliacs.
I complained to the hospital and this has taken months to investigate then again as they said nothing had been found the first time that the dr hasn’t done anything wrong so i said no look at this again and theybe come back with ‘sorry that you felt this way’ basically. No apology no admittance that dd had needed bloods nothing and I’m so cross we were treated like we wanted to hurt our child!
I don’t know what to do now all I’ve been able to do is leave an online review for this dr to warn others but she was abominable and I’m really upset that we don’t even get an apology

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grannyinapram · 27/01/2021 11:11

I don't know what the answer is, perhaps threaten to go to the media? see if that stirs them up? do you have the name of the doctor?
how upsetting I'm so sorry but we'll done for going private
I'm afraid after that I (and many others) would have been embarrassed and thought they were dumb for wasting a doctors time for no reason. I would complain again asking for a personal apology and proof that the doctor received extra training on how to not be a dick

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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:14

Yes I have the name I made sure I did before we walked out. It was just horrendous and I assume she’s still working there and the way she spoke to me was awful i don’t want others to go through that - what if someone else can’t go private and their child is really sick ?
I know blood tests aren’t nice and I’d never want my child to have one for no reason but it was just horrible 😞

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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:15

I know covid has delayed the investigation and response etc but I just feel like she gets away with being a total bully and it’s wrong

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HoppingPavlova · 27/01/2021 11:20

Coeliac is not an issue for A&E. The clue is in the name. There was no accident requiring immediate attention and this is not an emergency as such but something that should have been dealt with via the GP and subsequent correct pathway. Your child had an ongoing issue (12mths according to your post), increasing lethargy and you thought A&E was the solution? The reality is that your child managed several more weeks before seeing someone privately and having the issue dealt with so not an emergency requiring A&E. Maybe the providers in A&E were sick of it being used inappropriately?

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mcmooberry · 27/01/2021 11:34

I would agree that the GP was the place to go for bloods. The A and E doctor would have assessed your DD's vital signs and would not have felt that there was any need for immediate blood tests. Her symptoms sounded gastro-enteric so I would think the GP could /should have referred her to a gastro-enterologist after your repeated trips there. The doctor does sound very rude and unpleasant for sure and I can absolutely understand your worry about your daughter, but I would honestly let this go unless the blood tests taken a few weeks later revealed a severe anaemia that would have been obvious at the time of your visit to A and E.

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MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 27/01/2021 11:39

I think taking a child to A&E with suspected anaemia was way out of line. The doctor was probably a bit annoyed at the misuse of A&E but could have been more polite I guess.

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luxxlisbon · 27/01/2021 11:44

It doesn't sound like the doctor's manor was right at all but taking a child to A&E because you think she has anaemia is so wrong. A&E is for actual life threatening emergencies and you wasted very limited resources by demanding a simple blood test when the appropriate place for that was your GP.

It is particularly crazy that you went to A&E during covid with the symptoms "tired and pale".

I would just move past this, I don't see what you are trying to achieve about stewing over this. A&E are not going to "admit" your daughter "needed bloods" because that is not the service A&E are there to provide. Multiple complaints about this are ott imo.

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suspiria777 · 27/01/2021 11:44

How old is your child, OP?

But basically i agree with @HoppingPavlova

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Rose789 · 27/01/2021 11:45

Your child did not have an accident or an emergency. You took her to the wrong place. What would you like the hospital to say?

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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:45

@MissBaskinIfYoureNasty

I think taking a child to A&E with suspected anaemia was way out of line. The doctor was probably a bit annoyed at the misuse of A&E but could have been more polite I guess.

My child had worsened and was sleeping whole days !! The gp had said viral for months so actually you’re wrong and being a bit of an idiot it could have been really serious and I know I wasn’t wasting time, she was very unwell amd I was very worried
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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:46

@HoppingPavlova

Coeliac is not an issue for A&E. The clue is in the name. There was no accident requiring immediate attention and this is not an emergency as such but something that should have been dealt with via the GP and subsequent correct pathway. Your child had an ongoing issue (12mths according to your post), increasing lethargy and you thought A&E was the solution? The reality is that your child managed several more weeks before seeing someone privately and having the issue dealt with so not an emergency requiring A&E. Maybe the providers in A&E were sick of it being used inappropriately?

I didn’t know she had coeliac at that time
I had a child who was getting sicker and sicker and the gp wasn’t prepared to refer kept saying it was ‘viral’
It could have been any number of things and I couldn’t just leave her and nobody else would help!
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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:47

She also has been left with a lot of issues as her gut was so damaged as was irritated for so long

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polanama · 27/01/2021 11:48

A complaint to your gp is far more appropriate.

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saffire · 27/01/2021 11:48

If you wasn't happy with your GP you see another, or change practices, not go to A&E.

Yes, coeliacs is horrible, but not a matter for A&E unless blood was pouring out of her.

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MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 27/01/2021 11:49

Oh okay. Well if I'm an idiot everyone else questioning your use of A&E is an idiot too. Good luck with your complaints. I'm sure the hospital have nothing better to do than soothe your ego.

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Overit20 · 27/01/2021 11:49

My daughter was diagnosed as being coeliac and was very unwell. We were not taken seriously by any medical professional. She lost several stone in weight and we were told that it was likely to be school stress. She used to beg me to get her help as she was constantly in bathroom or sleeping. She was annemic too as well as no B12. We had to fight constantly and I was made to feel like I was too worried. I completely understand your reason for going to A and E. I should have done this. On the positive, after persuading doctor to complete the relevant tests, she is thriving. Good luck.

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nocoolnamesleft · 27/01/2021 11:51

Not an A&E issue. Very much a GP and onwards pathway issue. I could understand it if you were complaining about the GP, if you'd told them how much worse things had got and they did nothing.

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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:51

@saffire

If you wasn't happy with your GP you see another, or change practices, not go to A&E.

Yes, coeliacs is horrible, but not a matter for A&E unless blood was pouring out of her.

Saw many different gps

My child worsened was feeling worse and sleeping hours and hours in the day
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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:52

@Overit20

My daughter was diagnosed as being coeliac and was very unwell. We were not taken seriously by any medical professional. She lost several stone in weight and we were told that it was likely to be school stress. She used to beg me to get her help as she was constantly in bathroom or sleeping. She was annemic too as well as no B12. We had to fight constantly and I was made to feel like I was too worried. I completely understand your reason for going to A and E. I should have done this. On the positive, after persuading doctor to complete the relevant tests, she is thriving. Good luck.

Thank you for your reply I don’t think anyone really gets how ill she was and it wasn’t like I knew I was scared the she was seriously anaemic with a serious underlying cause
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borageforager · 27/01/2021 11:53

How old was your child?

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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:55

When a child presents with the symptoms she did then starts sleeping all the time I felt I had no option my gp wasn’t listening so I went to a and e as I honestly thought the sleeping in the day was a big concern I had said repeatedly to the gp and they weren’t listening

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greatpopcorn · 27/01/2021 11:57

Hmmwhy ask on here if you are arguing with what everyone is saying? Sounds like you've made your mind up.

Sounds like a GP issue, not an A&E one.

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Whyistheteacold · 27/01/2021 11:57

Other PPs are right that A and E was not the place to take your DD. However, I completely understand why you did, you were scared for your daughter and needed help. I think the way that they spoke to you in front of your DD was disgusting and inappropriate, if A&E was not appropriate they should have referred you elsewhere rather than just dismissing your concerns. I would feel angry too, but realistically what can they do now other than issue an apology? I think you need to launch an official complaint with the GP

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famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:57

@borageforager

How old was your child?

She was 5 when this happened
So shouldn’t have reverted to sleeping in the day suddenly that was the big red flag for me
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midlifecrash · 27/01/2021 11:57

If not satisfied with the response from the hospital the next stop is the Ombudsman www.ombudsman.org.uk/

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