Should i be worried about paying for boyfriends house

[Centaurpede]

So, I live with my boyfriend in his house, we are planning to move into our own one in a few years. He wants to do up this house and wants to share costs of doing that. I have enough to share costs comfortably but I would rather keep the money for new house which would actually be mine too. Aibu? Or should I set a limit on how much I will spend on this one?

[AnathemaPulsifer]

If it’s his house you shouldn’t be contributing to doing it up. If he dumps you next year your money would be lost.

[Outwithreason]

Why would you spend any money doing up his house? You would be just increasing the value of his investment.

[MiniCooperLover]

What are we talking? He wants you to go halves on a few tins of paint OR he wants you to go halves on a new extension and kitchen??

[Lovethewater]

I don't think this is a wise plan. Keep your savings for your future joint property

[PlanDeRaccordement]

Only if he agrees to give you your money back plus interest when he sells his house. Because that money will increase the value of his house, which will then increase his deposit on new house.

[Oreservoir]

No don't contribute to any major refurbishment.
Perhaps buy some furniture which you can take if necessary.

[Centaurpede]

Minicooper, big things like kitchen etc

Logically I agree with most of you it doesn't seem wise, but I'm not intending on splitting up with him so I'm worried it makes me seem cold hearted and tight..

[SarahBellam]

Do you pay him rent? If so, then your rent is your contribution. I wouldn’t be expecting to pay for improvements to a house that isn’t mine. If you, for example, went halves on a £15k kitchen and then he dumped you, you’d be down £7.5k and unless you had a written agreement you’d get your money back in the event of a split, that money would be gone.

[EveryoneRevealsThemselves]

Hell no. Why would you financially contribute to a house you have no legal stake in?

[ThatVeganFeminist]

Nope. You keep saving towards your deposit for the shared house and when he sells his you go in together and draw up a contract to protect your respective deposits.

[ThatVeganFeminist]

@Centaurpede

Minicooper, big things like kitchen etc

Logically I agree with most of you it doesn't seem wise, but I'm not intending on splitting up with him so I'm worried it makes me seem cold hearted and tight..

Nooooo
Don't give him your money because you don't want to seem mean. If he doesn't get why you shouldn't then you shouldn't move in with him let alone buy a property

[AnyFucker]

Wise up, lady. And quick.

[Somanysocks]

Not unless you're married first.

[TeachesOfPeaches]

Absolutely not!!! You could break up tomorrow and you would lose all of your money

[GloriousGoosebumps]

Why can't he pay for his own kitchen?

[MoveOnTheCards]

Keep your money to invest in your house, not his. If it goes tits-up and you split you’ve lost your investment (while he benefits from it still). I know it’s not nice to think of a relationship not lasting but you never know what might happen in the future. Save the 50/50 splitting things for when it’s a joint investment from the beginning.

[Ikora]

Do not be naive, sharing household bills like utilities is fine and you should contribute.

I don’t think anyone gets together with the intention of splitting up.

[Ileflottante]

If you’re worried he’ll break up with you for not pouring your own money into his house, then all the more reason not to.

I know someone who got an inheritance and used it to build an incredible stable block at her boyfriend’s family home, where she lived. Naturally it ended and she lost everything. But her boyfriend and his mum have a beautiful brick block of stables, adding ££ to their house. Madness. Don’t do it.

[DareIask]

You could always halve all the bills, and pay the going rate in rent?

[ellenleaves]

Same question as another poster, do you pay rent? I paid rent to my now husband before we were engaged and so house costs were all his.

If you pay a decent rent then no you shouldn't contribute more. If you don't then paying some towards would be the right thing to do in my opinion.

[Ileflottante]

Also don’t be daft, no one intends on breaking up with someone in the beginning. But things change. And if he winds up breaking up with you or doing something you can’t live with, your money has gone into his pocket.

[Chloemol]

I would only contribute to big ticket things if he put me on the mortgage and registered the house on both names

Otherwise I would be saving for a joint house and let him fork out for repairs on this one

[Thepilotlightsgoneout]

Depends if the money from the sale of his house is put towards the new one as joint or as his share. If only his share, then absolutely not.

[Indecisive12]

Ask to be put on the deeds so that you’re contribution is protected if you want to contribute. It’s not about seeming cold hearted it’s about being sensible and he should realise that.

[SimplyRadishing]

Nope.
His house, his renovation, his financial gain.

He should not even have asked you. And you should not consider contributing its not fair or reasonable