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DSS and disgusting habit

(239 Posts)
TheSpottedDog Sun 24-Jan-21 13:38:25

DSS (22) has a habit of performance farting. I hate farting at the best of times but he literally walks around cocking his leg and farting, squatting and farting, bending over and sticking his bum out to fart, star jumping and farting, legs akimbo on the sofa farting ... it fucking irritates me. When DH and I first got together he used to laugh at him (he was 15 then) and I spoke with him and told him it really bothered me and I find it disrespectful. We had an argument over it but eventually he saw my point and would ask him to stop when he did it. He toned it down for a while but then started it up again. Whenever he comes over I just end up going upstairs to get away from him because it winds me up so much.
The only good thing about lockdown is that he hasn’t been coming over on Saturday nights and I’m absolutely dreading the return of this shit.

AIBU to tell DH that his son is almost 23 years old now and if he can’t stop himself acting like a young child I’d rather him not come over?

OP’s posts: |
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Sun 24-Jan-21 13:40:56

Sorry, he does this at 22?

I skim read your OP and was about to tell you he'd grow out of it because I assumed that he was about 6 confused

If I had a 22 year old man doing this in my house, I'd ask him what the fuck was wrong with him?

recklessruby Sun 24-Jan-21 13:42:00

Yanbu. Sounds revolting. I dont blame you leaving the room. Cant DH tell him to stop behaving like an annoying 6 year old?

CSIblonde Sun 24-Jan-21 13:42:05

He sounds like a 10year old. He's doing it because he knows it winds you up. I'd find that gross too. Get you partner to have words & insist he's not coming round til he can behave like an adult.

TheSpottedDog Sun 24-Jan-21 13:42:30

Yes nearly 23. He’s incredibly immature, wasn’t that long ago that he made out he couldn’t get his new boots off so DH had to help him. A grown man sat there giggling whilst another man tugs at his boots. It’s fucking surreal.

OP’s posts: |
Cuntitinthebin Sun 24-Jan-21 13:42:44

I'd get really pissed off with that too.

How disgusting.

CuriousaboutSamphire Sun 24-Jan-21 13:43:28

Tell your DH he manages it or you will.

And if/when it next happens open your front door and tell the young adult to get out until he has grown some repsoect and learned some basic manners.

It's your home. Your DH should be aware enough not to allow his adult son to act like a dick and drive you out.

Oneweekleft Sun 24-Jan-21 13:43:41

Yanbu. It sounds passive aggressive if you ask me !

malificent7 Sun 24-Jan-21 13:44:08

I bet he dosn't have a girlfriend !

Scrunchies Sun 24-Jan-21 13:44:11

Agree - he is doing this to get a reaction. The more you react, the more he will do it. I would suggest doing something yourself that is a bit weird every time he does it.

CuriousaboutSamphire Sun 24-Jan-21 13:45:07


Agree - he is doing this to get a reaction. The more you react, the more he will do it. I would suggest doing something yourself that is a bit weird every time he does it.

Yep! Like throwing him out of the house!

InglouriousBasterd Sun 24-Jan-21 13:46:34

My cousin used to do this until he released a little too much and shat his pants. He stopped after that....!

missrm Sun 24-Jan-21 13:46:51

That's the one thing I get really cross at my DS for doing. Like little accidents happen and it's okay to accidentally let one slip, but walking into a room and just letting your arse trumpet scream away is atrocious manners. I can take time away from his console for deliberately doing it for a show but you'll not be able to do that! He's 11 btw.

Definitely up to your DH to sort out.

Iloveacurry Sun 24-Jan-21 13:46:53

I assume he’s single?

user1493413286 Sun 24-Jan-21 13:47:09

I would tell him that’s he’s not welcome at the house while he keeps doing that. It’s disgusting and quite odd at 23

TheSpottedDog Sun 24-Jan-21 13:48:11

Yes he’s single.

I’m glad it’s not me over reacting

OP’s posts: |
sunflowersandbuttercups Sun 24-Jan-21 13:49:29

It is absolutely disgusting, but it sounds like he's doing it because he gets a reaction from you.

What's your relationship like with him in general?

HorseOfPhillipMoss Sun 24-Jan-21 13:51:00

I thought you meant 22 months at first! Tell him it's no wonder he's single

MissyB1 Sun 24-Jan-21 13:55:30

Stop allowing it. You don’t need your dh to deal with it you can do it. Next time he comes round tell him in advance that if he dies it you will be showing him the door. It’s about respect and he’s clearly got none for you.

livefornaps Sun 24-Jan-21 13:57:12

I would ask him in a concerned way, "oh, did you have some serious hormonal problems as a teenager? It seems that you haven't completed puberty. No wonder no girl wants to go anywhere near that pathetic mushroom-stump excuse for a cock. I read that performative farting is a classic way of consoling yourself for having such a tiny penis"

livefornaps Sun 24-Jan-21 13:58:14

@missrm "letting your arse trumpet scream away" made me laugh

MumUndone Sun 24-Jan-21 14:01:09


Happylittlethoughts Sun 24-Jan-21 14:02:13

What weird pleasure does he get from this? That's perverse as a grown man . I'm not sure what you should do about it but I would not let him in my house.

DeciduousPerennial Sun 24-Jan-21 14:04:00

Does your husband plan on infantilising him forever?

TillyTopper Sun 24-Jan-21 14:06:29

Disgusting! Ridiculously immature for 22, I'd have thought 8 to be honest. I don't think your proposal is unreasonable, if he comes over he grows up and doesn't do it, or he doesn't come over.

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