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"What? You?!" Sneery Teen

(361 Posts)
PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:25:27

He is 15 and literally NOTHING existed in the world until he heard of it, which I am sure he is not alone in.

He is into musical theatre. Goes on and on about various musicals he has found and likes. Ok, no problem there except he does it in a very sneery way as if I coudlnt possibly know about these things but I generally let it go.

When I was younger I planned to go into acting and part of my unofficial training when I was waiting to go to drama school was being trained in theatre production. There is a really good theatre nearish to me and I did some am-dram and got a lot of training in sound for stage productions and I really loved it. I decided that I would rather do sound than acting. Then life happened and I didnt go to school and blah blah but I did still do sound for am dram for a few years.

Last night I get "You probably wont have heard of it but there is this great musical called Blood Brothers which has great songs" and I said "yeah I know, they are good". "Oh you've heard of it?" and it just put my back up. So I said "Of course. Its been around for years and is very well known. I did the sound on it when it was on at X theatre about 20 years ago"

That was when I got "What? You?!" in an incredulous disbelieving sneery way. "You dont seem to me to be someone who could do that" And I got really annoyed and did shout that yes believe it or not I do actually know things, that I did have a life that didnt involve being a mother and to not look down his fucking nose at me. Oh and by the way, no he doesnt fucking know it all. I then asked him a few technical questions "do you know how to....." which he didnt and I could say "Well I do, so...." and he bogged off upstairs!

AIBU to think that sometimes it is justified to give them a smack round the earhole, because I have had the most incredible urge to do just that ever since.

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Ballstothis148 Sat 23-Jan-21 22:29:52

You sound like you’re gatekeeping on something he loves, he sounds like he’s trying to make his own space in that area. Come together on it and love it together!

MissMarpleDarling Sat 23-Jan-21 22:30:31

YANBU op I had a similar 'chat' with mine today.

Butchyrestingface Sat 23-Jan-21 22:32:19

That was when I got "What? You?!" in an incredulous disbelieving sneery way. "You dont seem to me to be someone who could do that" And I got really annoyed and did shout that yes believe it or not I do actually know things, that I did have a life that didnt involve being a mother and to not look down his fucking nose at me. Oh and by the way, no he doesnt fucking know it all. I then asked him a few technical questions "do you know how to....." which he didnt and I could say "Well I do, so...." and he bogged off upstairs!

Sounds fine to me. You should do it more often.

Serenschintte Sat 23-Jan-21 22:32:35

Every so often they need reminding that they are very young and know nothing really. I use a combination of joking about how old I am, reminiscing and occasions a sharp telling off. It’s fun, not at all.

Cheeeeislifenow Sat 23-Jan-21 22:32:50

It's because they don't see you as a person, you are a "mum" 😄

AttackOfTheFloppyKnob Sat 23-Jan-21 22:33:52

Yanbu !

Reminds me of watching my friends puppies play with their mum, she'd let them explore so far but would reign them in with a firm growl and a raised paw when needed........raising teenagers isn't much different. They all need a firm paw at times. 🤨

icanboogieboogiewoogie Sat 23-Jan-21 22:35:04

I assume that you missed a few stages out as it seems like a bit of an overreaction followed by an attempted humiliation of your teenage son because you know more about theatre than him.

Surely a 'yes, I know Blood Brothers. In fact I did x, y and z in a production once' then let him come to you, would maybe be more effective than having him on the defensive.

PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:35:55

Ballstothis148

You sound like you’re gatekeeping on something he loves, he sounds like he’s trying to make his own space in that area. Come together on it and love it together!

But thats the thing, I am not actually a particular fan of musical theatre, I just love the technical side of it. I havent seen or listened to it since I stopped with the am dram.

I would have been just as annoyed if he had said it about running pubs or customer service departments grin

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PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:36:17

Which I should say is what I have done job wise!

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Footle Sat 23-Jan-21 22:38:23

Sorry had to do this by screenshot. Ironically I'm very old and still can't do links.

PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:40:17

icanboogieboogiewoogie

I assume that you missed a few stages out as it seems like a bit of an overreaction followed by an attempted humiliation of your teenage son because you know more about theatre than him.

Surely a 'yes, I know Blood Brothers. In fact I did x, y and z in a production once' then let him come to you, would maybe be more effective than having him on the defensive.

Yes it was more drawn out than that, and comes on the back of him being an arsehole for the last few weeks. He tends to do this every so often, and seems to be trying to Alpha over me as I am the only adult in the house. There is a definite trend of trying to put me down and assert his superiority over me.

I am normally quite controlled about it, but the incredulity of his reaction, that I couldnt possibly know something like that was what put my back up. I am human, shoot me.

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PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:41:06

@Footle

Thank you!! That might have to go on the fridge grin

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Starlightstarbright1 Sat 23-Jan-21 22:41:16

Teenagers are frustrating..

They do seem to need reminding you are a person every once in a while

Bagamoyo1 Sat 23-Jan-21 22:46:07

Yeah, teens know it all don’t they.
I’m a single parent and I work long hours, so I rarely go out or have friends round. DS (age 15) was once having a go at me, saying I was a horrible parent - you know, usual teen stuff - and he said “no wonder you don’t have any friends “. Now as it happens I have loads of friends - loads - but we’re spread out over the country and we’re all busy with kids and work etc, so communication is limited to texting, phone calls and so on. As far as DS is concerned, because he doesn’t see my friends, they don’t exist. Kids think that all they can see is all there is. We didn’t exist before they were born! I think they grow out of this though.

BornInAThunderstorm Sat 23-Jan-21 22:46:51

Ha op I like you am a lone parent and I reckon Ds thinks I was born with him! He was watching The Martian recently and shortly after told me to listen to this amazing song by someone called David Bowie grin from the film. I did say yes DS I love David Bowie, in fact several times while playing his music in our car you have asked me to turn this rubbish music off.

He was similarly incredulous, where did I learn about David Bowie etc. They just really can’t imagine that you had a life before them.

Bagamoyo1 Sat 23-Jan-21 22:50:02

BornInAThunderstorm

Ha op I like you am a lone parent and I reckon Ds thinks I was born with him! He was watching The Martian recently and shortly after told me to listen to this amazing song by someone called David Bowie grin from the film. I did say yes DS I love David Bowie, in fact several times while playing his music in our car you have asked me to turn this rubbish music off.

He was similarly incredulous, where did I learn about David Bowie etc. They just really can’t imagine that you had a life before them.

Oh yes, I get this too!
I’ve tried to play music in my car and the kids declare it’s awful dreadful horrible music from the old days, and I have to turn it off. Then a few weeks weeks later they’re listening to it, because it’s been the background music for some random YouTuber that they like, or whatever. Suddenly it’s a great song!

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin Sat 23-Jan-21 22:51:33

Funnily enough my dd and l were looking at some of my old primary school books. In creative writing, my year 6 teacher regularly gave me a house point and even said a few times 'the best in thenclass' (yeah am old - they wouldn't say that these days l am sure) - dd looked at me and said "Mummy you were actually clever at school weren't you?"
"Yes dear but l grew out of it" is what l wanted to say! But actually said well you know you have to do your best.
See my user name!

PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:51:43

YY to us not existing before they did!

Re music, DD (now 19 and a bit more self aware) did similar with Fleetwood Mac and vinyl at one point, think she was 16. I pointed out the HUGE vinyl collection I have, including a fair bit of Fleetwood Mac, that she had said we should chuck out a couple of years earlier because "Havent you heard of streaming" grin

SHe has now nicked all my FM records!

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Narniacalling Sat 23-Jan-21 22:52:09

I mean he’s a teenager!!!
I’m sure you were the same. Do adults forget they were teenagers too.
Or is it, back in olden times I wouldn’t have spoken to XYZ like that!!!
But in any-case, I think what you said was fine.

PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:54:45

@Narniacalling

I honestly wouldnt have said it to my parents, I would have thought it (and did...often!) but I wouldnt have said it. But then there was the real possibility of consequences. The sort that hurt. Not in an abusive way but a slap round the chops for being fucking rude would have happened and in all honesty, if I had said some of the things I thought, I would have deserved it.

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Teandsympathy Sat 23-Jan-21 22:55:16

I think it’s a bit of a right of passage with teens. My dh works in the hip hop industry and apparently knows nothing about music. He was on a call with questlove the other day and she sneered at these two old men talking about music like they knew anything about it 😂

PyongyangKipperbang Sat 23-Jan-21 22:56:30

@Teandsympathy

Oh she will cringe at that in 10 years!

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Narniacalling Sat 23-Jan-21 22:58:18

But that’s the point! You would have thought it. So you’re not that different. Other than luckily your son isn’t scared of consequences
Bit horses for courses really

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 23-Jan-21 22:58:31

Mine does it at 10. I used to hang out with bands a lot and when something comes on the radio I'll say, "oh I used to go to gigs with this band" she'll roll her eyes and say, "you used to be 'cool', mum".

It's all very depressing.

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