My partner and I have been in an international relationship for 4 years, and have lived together for the past 8 months. Up until recently, our relationship had been one of strong, independent equals. My partner was living in the UK on a work visa. Both my partner and I had high-income jobs, with their earnings slightly more than mine.
6 months ago, my partner said they wanted to leave their job in order to focus on artistic pursuits, something that they were unwilling to be flexible on, but that I wanted to support them with. This would mean that they would lose their visa. We looked at our options, and it seemed like it would only be possible to secure a visa through marriage, something I was reticent about but willing to consider.
Having learnt more about the financial implications of marriage in the UK, I am beginning to have serious doubts. I have significantly higher assets (5 to 1, seven figures) than my partner, and it seems like these will be difficult to fully protect even if we attempt an English prenup.
My partner is unwilling to have children, so that is not a factor. This means the only legal benefit to marriage would be to secure a visa, whilst I would need to be willing to comingle our assets and be the only income earner. If I do not agree to this marriage my partner will have to leave the country.
Our relationship is a good one, and I fear that I'm approaching this marriage in too cold a way, but at the same time I feel like I have to be realistic about what it would actually mean. Would I be unreasonable to refuse? I feel like my partner has left me with no good options.
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
To Refuse To Marry?
299 replies
boggyd · 23/01/2021 13:01
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
913 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
3%
You are NOT being unreasonable
97%
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