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For being incredibly pissed off?

(58 Posts)
NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 21:08:34

I've had a flare up of a medical condition that means I've had about 8 hours sleep over the last three days. Add home schooling and I'm am on my knees. "D"H said last night that he would get up this morning and set the kids up for the 8:45 register teams call and supervise their learning until lunchtime so I could rest as much as possible. He would use his flexitime and work a bit later.
After another disturbed night I woke at 8:45 he was still in bed, I jumped up and he claimed both the kids were up, he'd heard them. I went in their rooms and they were both in bed. They are 9 & 11. He kept saying I've got this, it's fine, just go back to bed. I ignored him, told the kids to throw on a jumper and get on their computers. I ended up just dealing with them as I was too angry to go back to bed. Apparently I'm the unreasonable one? I haven't spoken to him since this morning. I know the silent treatment is awful but I'm just so angry I can't trust what I might say.

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Besiegedbykillersquirrels Thu 21-Jan-21 21:13:05

I think you should have left them all to it and gone back to bed. You martyred yourself there. Yes they might have been late and yes he should be trusted to supervise the kids' homeschooling but at what age do your kids start taking a bit of responsibility? They are more than able to set an alarm and get themselves up for school by 9 and 11, surely? Yes your husband should have been awake to make sure they started on time but it sounds like your set up can't function if you're not there organising and overseeing everyone's waking minutes? That's exhausting.

arethereanyleftatall Thu 21-Jan-21 21:14:55

I'm sorry you're knackered, but 9&11? Just let them get on with it; and go back to bed.

Shoxfordian Thu 21-Jan-21 21:18:08

You should just leave them all to it

WaitingOnTheDaffodils Thu 21-Jan-21 21:18:14

Why was he still in bed? Did he not set an alarm? Do your children not set alarms to get them up? You sound like you’re playing a martyr tbh.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty Thu 21-Jan-21 21:19:49

🤷‍♀️ he told you to go back to bed.

NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 21:50:01

Hands up to being a martyr then. 11 year old got them self up and walked 30 minutes to school to be on time when they went to school. Online learning, despite my best efforts has meant disengagement from them and not getting up. 9 year old hasn't got up on their own ever. Despite alarms, screaming at them, punishments etc. I'd leave them to get themselves up sorted for school by themselves but it's me that gets the calls that they're late or absent

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MerryDecembermas Thu 21-Jan-21 21:53:30

Is he not jointly responsible for making sure they attend on time?

I'd pass the phone over so he can explain to the school what happened!

WhereamI88 Thu 21-Jan-21 21:54:49

YANBU. He's a useless lazy piece of shit. Everyone screaming you're a martyr is forgetting those kids still need a parent, you can't both sack it off and he's making you pick up the pieces. The whole idea of getting lie in is that you can relax and rest while he takes care of the kids.

Vallmo47 Thu 21-Jan-21 21:58:41

I’d be annoyed too. He said he was going to take some responsibility and let you down. I don’t care what age the kids are, if he promised you he doesn’t break his word.

Also, I have a 9 year old who certainly wouldn’t get up, get ready and be responsible enough to sort everything out for home schooling. Come on. If we are truly honest with our answers here. At 9 kids aren’t as organised as adults. I like to make sure mine is up and running and providing sufficient standard work. I get that’s not possible for everyone when trying to work from home etc. That’s not the question here though.

I hear you.

AldiIsla Thu 21-Jan-21 21:59:09

I agree with @whereamI88

Parenting is teamwork. Everyone he slacks you are forced to pick it up. Otherwise the children lose out.

Clevererthanyou Thu 21-Jan-21 22:00:01

I don’t think you’re a martyr op, you’re a responsible parent (because clearly one of you has to be and it wasn’t him was it?). I hope you get more support from your partner in future.

NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 22:05:03

@MerryDecembermas yup but it's the kids that miss out in the end

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NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 22:06:22

@WhereamI88 yup that's how I feel but I appreciate other opinions

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NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 22:14:14

@Vallmo47 @AldiIsla @Clevererthanyou thank you

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Cherrysoup Thu 21-Jan-21 22:19:50

I don’t think you were unreasonable BUT you need to hand it over to him properly, don’t jump in because he’s been dumb today. He can explain to school. Make him take responsibility.

Fuckingcrustybread Thu 21-Jan-21 22:22:49

I'm not surprised that you're pissed off, you are not unreasonable at all. He said he would take responsibility but didn't. Maybe try and tell him that he is also your children's parent. I don't think that you are being a martyr.
I see the cunts are out in force on this thread.

NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 22:23:01

@Cherrysoup I know that's what I should do but I don't want them to suffer because he can't organise himself.

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Onlinedilema Thu 21-Jan-21 22:26:38

Your dh should have got up. I would have done what you did op if I was in the same position. He deserves the silent treatment.

NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 22:28:24

@Fuckingcrustybread been there done that. I'm a SAHP so it's all me apparently

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harknesswitch Thu 21-Jan-21 22:30:26

Your dh should have got up, but you decided to Get up and sort them, why you didn't just kick your dh out of bed I don't know.

Your kids are old enough, once awake to sort themselves. Being a few mins late for register for homeschooling won't kill anyone.

You need your sleep, you should have gone back to bed, like your dh said and made the most of the morning. Chances are, after your over reaction, he won't offer again.

Bluntness100 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:31:11

Yeah I get why you got up op, and I’ve had been incredibly pissed off as well. Especially with the bit about they were up and he heard them.

Minikievs Thu 21-Jan-21 22:34:34

I don't think you were a martyr. My 10yo would no way get himself up dressed and set up for school.
I can understand why you took over as I imagine you got them sorted in about two minutes and your DH would've taken about 10 minutes to get them organised, by which time they'd have missed the Teams meet?
I'd be pissed off too OP

NewYearTypicalMe Thu 21-Jan-21 22:43:56

@Onlinedilema silent treatment still going on. Actually think he's the one that isn't speaking to me now?

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Cherrysoup Thu 21-Jan-21 22:46:12

@NewYearTypicalMe but how will he learn if you jump in to save him? If kids are late to lessons, they get a verbal warning from me, persistent lateness would be an email to the head of year. Let him do it, you sound like you’re trying to do it all. He’s their parent too!

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