To send my kids to our childcare bubble overnight?

[RagamuffinJo]

I'll try and be brief. 4DC homeschooling, all primary age and need a parent on hand. DH wfh in a high pressure, long hours job. I have my own business making custom items and I also run a virtual youth group which requires paperwork/planning.

DH leaves the house once per week to do the shopping. The rest of us do not leave the house/garden other than the occasional walk where we see no-one. (very rural)

Our childcare bubble are seeing no-one except us. They go to the same supermarket as us once a week. Childcare bubble are not confident with being able to support the DC homeschooling during the day.

DH suffers with anxiety (medicated) and I have depression (medicated). Both of us were well controlled pre-lockdown but both now having ups and downs (as you'd expect).

DH and I have been sending the DC to our childcare bubble after school hours on friday until mid afternoon saturday. We use this time to catch up on the work that is not getting done during the week. DH uses some of it to unwind (home gym) but I use it to get all my work done as I can get so little done during the week.

Was chatting with a friend on zoom and she asked how things were so I explained what we are doing. She went nuts at me that the childcare bubble 'is not for you to have time off' and 'you can only have one if you go out to work'.

I've seen nothing that states that, only that they can only provide childcare while the parents are working (which we are).

So, AIBU to send the DC overnight to our childcare bubble once a week for DH and I to catch up on work?

[itchyfinger]

I would (and I am doing next week). What difference does it make if they are already seeing them?

[Calmandmeasured1]

You aren't doing anything wrong.

[iolaus]

I thought childcare bubbles were meant to be used if you were out of the house for work (or even working from home if that meant you couldn't look after the children and work)
That said a lot of people who have a childcare bubble seem to them be in and out of each others houses whereas I thought it was a case of you took the child(ren) to the bubble household and they were the only ones breaching - not kids go round your mums while you are in work and then you all have tea together before spending the evening catching up before you take the kids home to go to bed

[Biscuits101]

Sounds jealous

[thechangeisready]

The mental health is exemption isn't it?

[minipie]

Having looked at the gov.uk guidance, there is nothing that says you can only use a childcare bubble if you are working.

[rosegoldivy]

I regularly send my DD 18months to granny's to stay the night. I am 22 weeks pregnant with twins and currently wfh full time.
DH also working full time as key worker out the house for 10-12 hours a day. I am fucking exhausted. Not one fuck given.

[ExclamationPerfume]

Childcare bubbles should only be used if you are working outside the home. Neither of you are doing this.

[Indecisive12]

The rules even say including overnight when I last checked. She’s jealous, we’re doing the same to avoid driving too often.

[minipie]

ExclamationPerfume where do you get that rule from?

[Angel2702]

You are working so it’s fine, no rules saying that you have to work out of the house. Shift workers would also use overnight childcare bubbles so don’t think you are doing anything wrong.

[Angel2702]

@ExclamationPerfume

Childcare bubbles should only be used if you are working outside the home. Neither of you are doing this.

That is not the rule at all they are for if you are working, no rules about where the work takes place.

My SIL is a teacher teaching lessons live all day on camera from home. She can’t take care of a baby or toddler whilst doing that. Plenty of other jobs where you would need childcare whilst working from home.

[CharlieTPatteson]

You are doing NOTHING wrong.
You are both catching up on work and need some downtime.
Weigh up the risks- if your children were going into school they would be at a lot more risk than what you are doing at the minute.
Mental health is extremely important- those who don’t suffer from problems, don’t always understand. Keep doing what you are doing and just don’t mention it to friends again.
I have found that lots of people have such strong opinions and then they are breaking the rules in other ways that they don’t even realise! ( not that I am saying you are breaking the rules)
I am a totally for the rules and have no broken them so far- but I know that everyone experiences different things and they need to do what is best for their family (as long as they are being sensible)

[MotherPiglet]

I dont work but use my DMIL as my childcare bubble as my DH is busy working (from home)

I am pregnant, have hyperemesis. My DS goes to my DMIL atleast one week day a week because I've been really struggling and need to listen to my body and rest. If it wasnt for my MIL my DH wouldn't be able to work and what would I do when I have an appointment. DH sleeps over there once a month to every two weeks, sometimes more. You're allowed a childcare bubble. It doesn't just have to be for work. Ignore your friend. You and your childcare are happy with the situation, it concerns noone else.

[BasinHaircut]

Even if it was the rule the childcare if you are working outside the home. Given that you are not the risks for everyone are less and therefore I can’t see the harm.

We’ve all got to do our best to distance whilst getting through with our mental health intact so I think if you need to send the kids to the GPs every now and then, then you should absolutely do so.

[sunlight81]

I'm on Mat leave with 3under2 ... I use my childcare bubble for respite!!!

[RagamuffinJo]

Well I feel better! I just couldn't believe someone who knows me/my family well would react so strongly to what we're doing.

We are seeing no-one at all, no socially distanced walks with others, nothing! Just one supermarket trip per week.

I am very much using it for work but I can't deny the side effect of having a breather from the relentlessness of lockdown life is a benefit to keeping my mental health stable.

It's reassuring that most of you agree we are not doing anything wrong.

[smilingthroughgrittedteeth]

I dont have a childcare bubble but we are my mums support bubble (shes a single household) my children resumed their friday night sleepover at nannys as soon as bubbles were allowed. I have followed every single rule since march, barely left my house unless its been essential but i have 3 children under 5 and the eldest has asd so if i didnt have that break i dont think id be able to cope so in your situation i would be doing exactly the same thing, aa long as your not breaking the rules by entering the house and are literally dropping off and picking up i say carry on.

[Bluebellpainting]

Slightly different but I send my son to his grandparents 50s) after my night shifts so I can sleep. I’m not out the house working at the time- I’m sure someone will tell me I’m meant to look after my son with no sleep then go to work the next night but that isn’t very safe for me or patients.

[Hardbackwriter]

There is no stipulation that childcare bubbles can only be used to facilitate work, let alone that they can only be used if you're working outside the house.

[LST]

@ExclamationPerfume stop spreading misinformation. FFS. They've been about for months have you seriously been spouting that garbage for that long without being told you're wrong?!

[LST]

Here you go. Fresh of the GOV website

If you live in a household with anyone aged under 14, you can form a ‘childcare bubble’. This allows friends or family from one other household to provide informal childcare.

What a childcare bubble is

A childcare bubble is where one household links with one other household to provide informal childcare to anyone under 14. All adults in both households must agree to this arrangement. ‘Informal’ childcare means it is unpaid and unregistered.
Members of either household can provide childcare in a home or public place. This includes overnight care.
You can only have one childcare bubble with one other household. This means no household should be part of more than one childcare bubble.

You can only use a childcare bubble for childcare. You cannot use a childcare bubble to mix with another household for other reasons.

If you form a childcare bubble, it’s best if this is with a household who live locally. This will help prevent the virus spreading from an area where more people are infected.

[DayBath]

Your friend has let slip their real view of your home business. She obviously doesn't consider your job to be real work and therefore deserving of childcare while you get on with it. I would be questioning that so called 'friend' on why they didn't respect the work I did if I were in your shoes.

YANBU, childcare bubbles are for parents to get work done or for respite care , both of which you and your husband need.

[Travis1]

Your friends a tit. Carry on

[SummerHouse]

Something wrong when you get more support on Mumsnet than from a real life 'friend' for a fully legitimate and perhaps crucial childcare bubble. Sorry your friend was a A-hole. Giving her massive benefit of doubt here but perhaps she has her own mental health issues. This whole thing has turned people's minds upsidedown. They are angry and afraid. She is still wrong though.